What is your experience of mental health?

[Villan_of_oz]

2 minutes ago, NurembergVillan said:

When you're the person everyone turns to, there's nowhere to turn when it's your turn.

That sucks! Well if you ever need to offload and you don't mind it being a stranger. You can turn to me if in need.

[maqroll]

The stress of this lockdown is taking a toll on people. Some guy bought a cannister of gasoline at the gas station down the street and proceeded to douse himself and set himself on fire. People smothered him and saved him but he has serious burns.

[VILLAMARV]

9 hours ago, NurembergVillan said:

When you're the person everyone turns to, there's nowhere to turn when it's your turn.

Pm me anytime if you ever feel the need for any reason NV. (And VT)

Keep on keeping on if you were just quoting or being prognostic of course.

Hope you're ok either way. 

[A'Villan]

I found an article written by a man I have had the privilege of meeting and working with. Written for students but is truly for everyone. 

Quote

Beating the stress monster

April 24, 2009/0 comments

RAVI Lulla, International Counsellor from The University of Melbourne says stress is a natural feeling designed to help us cope in challenging situations.

“In small amounts, it’s good because it pushes you to work hard and do your best. Stress heightens the senses and your reaction times, which means it can have the benefit of enhancing your performance in exams,” he said.

But while some stress may be good for you, too much of it can have an adverse effect on our physical and mental well-being, Mr Lulla said.

The first signs of stress overload include irritability, sleep problems, headaches, dizziness and loss of appetite. Other symptoms are a dry mouth, churning stomach, palpitations, sweating, shortness of breath and depression.

In more serious situations, students can experience “anxiety attacks” ranging from feelings of uneasiness to severe and paralysing panic.

Mr Lulla offers some tips for managing stress.

Keep things in perspective

“Keep things in perspective. What’s the worst thing that can happen if you don’t do well on this test?” Mr Lulla said.

“Excessive stress could hurt your performance on tests, so as much as you can, relax,” he advised.

Students who have serious problems with anxiety during final exams should also learn to seek help from their university or school counselling centre, he said.

Manage your body

Burning the midnight oil may hurt you more than you think. Get sufficient rest, sleep and eat properly.

Exercise is also a good way of keeping a lid on stress. Five minutes of stretching and ten to fifteen minutes of cardio can go a long way.

“And if you are feeling tense, it is important to calm your body through relaxation exercises such as slow breathing. Otherwise, your mind will not be able to remember what you have studied,” Mr Lulla said.

Get organised

Feel in control by managing your time well.

“This means getting an idea as to how much time you have every day and setting goals based on breaking down your workload.

“And prioritise. You have limited time to study and will have to choose how to spend it wisely and efficiently,” Mr Lulla said.

Studying with friends who have a similar goal can also help instil discipline and cultivate good study habits.

Don’t be afraid of asking for help from lecturers, tutors and classmates either.

“If you’re confused about your notes or the readings, seek help quickly,” Mr Lulla said.

Balance and positivity

As a final word of advice, it’s important to have a balanced life and be positive in our approach to meeting challenges, Mr Lulla said.

“Learn from your mistakes and be confident of your strengths,” he said.

 

[A'Villan]

On 13/05/2020 at 07:55, NurembergVillan said:

When you're the person everyone turns to, there's nowhere to turn when it's your turn.

Everyone turns to you because..

YOU ARE RELIABLE, YOU ARE STRONG, YOU ARE FIERCE, but most of all, YOU ARE KIND, YOU ARE HUMAN, YOU ARE LOVING.

And everyone hopes you be true to yourself first and foremost. Anyone who doesn't isn't turning to you @NurembergVillan, they're leaning on you. 

If that's the case please be kind to yourself and let whoever needs knowing that you need to stop and rest, because things have been weighing you down.

 @Villan_of_oz has got your back, he's Aussie so you know he's fair dinkum!

[Skruff]

On 12/05/2020 at 23:55, NurembergVillan said:

When you're the person everyone turns to, there's nowhere to turn when it's your turn.

What makes you say that? If people confide to you and seek support, it's a testament to your character. That doesn't mean they're incapable of supporting you, It might even empower them, being able to return the favor. It's often a misconception that you have to carry your own burden yourself, simply because someone shared theirs with you. (without knowing any details, speaking generally) 

[choffer]

11 hours ago, Skruff said:

What makes you say that? If people confide to you and seek support, it's a testament to your character. That doesn't mean they're incapable of supporting you, It might even empower them, being able to return the favor. It's often a misconception that you have to carry your own burden yourself, simply because someone shared theirs with you. (without knowing any details, speaking generally) 

I completely get this perspective. I used to get very frustrated that I always seemed to be helping others out, supporting people emotionally or practically but nobody ever helped me when I needed it. I voiced this feeling to a friend once who got quite cross with me and left me in no doubt that the only reason I didn't get help was that I never asked for it. He was dead right - I had managed to convince myself that me showing a sign of weakness was not acceptable, despite the fact that I didn't judge those around me in that way. 

I still struggle to ask for help when I need it but at least I'm better at not blaming those around me for not providing the support that I need, as I know they'll have no idea I need it unless I tell them. 

 

This isn't meant as a response to Rob's initial comment in any way as I don't know if his was a general observation or a show of frustration.

[NurembergVillan]

Hey folks. I'm back.  Had a very difficult couple of days.  Over tired, the kids playing up, worried about the business but busy enough that I can't get everything done.  And there's a pandemic.

My reasoning for writing what I did wasn't so much that I can't ask for help, it's that I always put a line through the names of anyone I may turn to because I figure they're relying on me for something.  Even though, rationally, it doesn't work like that.

I'm an introvert by nature, even though I have an outgoing personality.  I love being the centre of attention but I also find it exhausting.  I need time on my own to recharge my batteries and, as with any of us who don't live alone, that's been in very short supply lately.

Thanks for the support.  I always know it's there, and often that's all I need.

[Chindie]

It's a weird time.

I don't feel particularly affected by the global situation. I'm all too able to function with limited interaction with the outside world, and I'm distant enough from those I know that may be at risk that I can't really say I'm worried on that front. I'm able to work from home, and although it's got its frustrations, it's workable.

The thing I've noticed most about my mental state recently has basically been I've become fairly irritable and unmotivated, and feel frustrated with various things. 

But then I've had a couple of times when I've sat there and realised, I'm basically alone. I've seen my girlfriend a couple of times in the last 2 months, one of those through a window, as she has close family in the risk bracket. We're not phonecall people so we text every day. But I realised besides work and going to the outdoor once a week, I've spoken to another person 3 times since March - a call to my sister, a call to the girlfriend when she needed something, and my neighbour having a quick word while i was moving my car. I'm not sure I have friends anymore. And that final right made me intensely sad. 

The odd thing is, my mom and dad were like this. My dad had 1 good friend, but they'd literally go a year without speaking easily. And my mom basically just had work friends and that's it.

Besides all that I've found my motivation is sapped. I've got a tonne of things I need to do, and a tonne of things I want to do, and a tonne of things I could do with getting done. My house is in limbo, with a bunch of jobs needing doing and I'll find myself thinking 'that needs doing so I can do that and then this can get done...' . My garden is a travesty but the thought of doing anything out there makes my blood run cold. I need to sort my mortgage out (fixed rate ended back end of last year) but I never quite find the motivation to get it sorted, to sit down and work out what needs doing. On the creativity front I've got a model I've had about 75% done for over a month, and a couple of other projects I've been chipping away at which require new skills for me to learn. But then I don't want to sit at the desk when I've been sat there all day/week to bang my head against some 3d software for a few hours. And I've got a bunch of other projects in my head that would rely on that learning. And then some other things I want to do which require me to try out other new things.

I dunno. It's weird.

[Brumerican]

Been down as I've ever been for quite a few weeks now but still plodding on.

Just sharing as it seems many are in the same boat and wanted you all to know you aren't alone.

[KentVillan]

46 minutes ago, Brumerican said:

Been down as I've ever been for quite a few weeks now but still plodding on.

Just sharing as it seems many are in the same boat and wanted you all to know you aren't alone.

Liked for the share, not for what you shared.

Personally I feel like I'm cracking up a bit. Been getting smashed (really smashed) 3 or 4 nights a week during lockdown. When I try and have a night off I just have terrible insomnia.

It's weird, I don't really feel down, just really detached from reality, and really out of touch with other people. Not a suicide risk or anything like that. Just going a bit off piste. Hard to put into words, but not something I want to keep feeling.

On the bright side, haven't done any coke for over 4 months now. Doing plenty of exercise. So in a lot of ways, things moving in the right direction. But just feel like I want to experience that emotion of being "in the right place" or whatever it is. Happy with who I am.

[Brumerican]

Just now, KentVillan said:

Liked for the share, not for what you shared.

Personally I feel like I'm cracking up a bit. Been getting smashed (really smashed) 3 or 4 nights a week during lockdown. When I try and have a night off I just have terrible insomnia.

It's weird, I don't really feel down, just really detached from reality, and really out of touch with other people. Not a suicide risk or anything like that. Just going a bit off piste. Hard to put into words, but not something I want to keep feeling.

On the bright side, haven't done any coke for over 4 months now. Doing plenty of exercise. So in a lot of ways, things moving in the right direction. But just feel like I want to experience that emotion of being "in the right place" or whatever it is. Happy with who I am.

[KentVillan]

1 hour ago, Brumerican said:

There is so much comfort in someone just saying this to you. For what it's worth, I always had you down as one of the bright, funny, witty, holding-it-all-together posters on VT. So a bit of a surprise to hear you feel like this. But hope sharing how you feel has helped in a small way.

I have to confess I often find the whole "real men talk" stuff a bit cringe, and I still prefer to bottle everything up as much as possible, unless I'm drunk or high.

I guess a lot of it is working out how to get that supportive face when you need it, but without feeling like you're sitting in a yoga retreat with a load of oversharing lunatics.

I always admire people who have that gift of offering emotional support without making you feel uncomfortable or embarrassed.

[Brumerican]

5 minutes ago, KentVillan said:

There is so much comfort in someone just saying this to you. For what it's worth, I always had you down as one of the bright, funny, witty, holding-it-all-together posters on VT. So a bit of a surprise to hear you feel like this. But hope sharing how you feel has helped in a small way.

I have to confess I often find the whole "real men talk" stuff a bit cringe, and I still prefer to bottle everything up as much as possible, unless I'm drunk or high.

I guess a lot of it is working out how to get that supportive face when you need it, but without feeling like you're sitting in a yoga retreat with a load of oversharing lunatics.

I always admire people who have that gift of offering emotional support without making you feel uncomfortable or embarrassed.

I'm still bright, funny and witty.

I just cry a lot more. 

It's good for you.

[Brumerican]

8 minutes ago, KentVillan said:

 

I have to confess I often find the whole "real men talk" stuff a bit cringe,

[Brumerican]

12 minutes ago, KentVillan said:

, I always had you down as one of the bright, funny, witty, holding-it-all-together posters on VT.

A slither of intelligence, reasoning, empathy and humour can keep the wolves at bay for a while.

To stop them completely requires teamwork.

I'm on team humanity.

[KentVillan]

The good thing about finding emotional support on a Villa forum is you know everyone here can deal with buckets of boring, oppressive, soul destroying shit being tipped on their head for years on end.

[A'Villan]

1 hour ago, KentVillan said:

The good thing about finding emotional support on a Villa forum is you know everyone here can deal with buckets of boring, oppressive, soul destroying shit being tipped on their head for years on end.

Wes Edens and Sawiris need this memo. Change go'n come.

 

[Jon]

8 hours ago, Brumerican said:

Been down as I've ever been for quite a few weeks now but still plodding on.

Just sharing as it seems many are in the same boat and wanted you all to know you aren't alone.

Yeah this lockdown has been getting to me. Been separated from my wife for almost 2 years now.  That's been hard.  I'd kind of enjoyed socialising and looking for someone new (she fcuked off with a new arsehole bloke pretty much straight away - a lothario type guy I knew who had posed as my friend) especially when I got some welcome female attention. But lockdown has put a complete kibosh on that.  It just leaves me with my own dark thoughts.  The thoughts of them being happily together during lockdown.  Me being alone, getting older, never going to find anyone etc.

Then there's work.  Made redundant just over a year ago.  Started my own business a year ago. Lockdown has kiboshed that fledgling business too, as it involved selling dog biscuits via pubs and bars.  

So I've got no money, nothing to do, no wife, no girlfriend, no job, maybe soon no house.  It probably doesn't help that I came off my sertraline meds 3 months ago, just before lockdown.  

My saving graces: I've got a gorgeous 8 year old daughter who I'm with half of the time.  That really helps.  Also got some good friends.  But the dark thoughts are prevalent.  Often feel like my life is fcuked. Just want this lockdown to end. Actually feel like I've coped with lockdown fairly well given it's coincided with me coming off the meds. 

[Jon]

Ps. Really helps to have villatalk in times like these.  Can't really offload those kind of thoughts with my mates, great though they've been.