What is your experience of mental health?

[NurembergVillan]

36 minutes ago, bickster said:

He's hardly gonna call Mersey Minicabs from over there is he?!

[NurembergVillan]

45 minutes ago, rjw63 said:

Can I just say I understand my problems are rather minuscule compared to some other members of the site but didn’t think any other thread was suitable.

None of that. All problems weigh the same.

EDIT - I've just thought of that little phrase and feel like it should belong to a mental health charity or something. I should be doing something creative for a living...

[il_serpente]

52 minutes ago, bickster said:

You have to realize that in US places like Santa Monica/LA that don’t have dense urban centers, Uber isn’t so much competing with taxis as filling a need because it’s not easy to get a taxi and with the distances involved they’re too expensive.

[Marka Ragnos]

Any of you ever deal with what I’ve been usually hearing called “compassion fatigue”? I’m not talking about the kind of thing that professionals in mental health experience, which is surely of a whole other order, but just more routine social stuff, where you just start getting tired of hearing people sharing their mental health struggles?
 

it’s not that I don’t want to be compassionate, and I usually am, but I find sometimes that there’s just so much of it in our society today on so many levels, that I just feel like everybody is depressed or something like that. 
 

I think connected to this is the phenomenon of “compassion shaming”. It’s when people make other people feel bad because they don’t think they’re being compassionate enough. Now on a social and society level, surely sometimes “compassion shaming.“ may actually sometimes be kind of a good thing. But I can also see how it could be more pathological on an interpersonal level.

Edited January 9 by Marka Ragnos

[Marka Ragnos]

On 09/01/2024 at 16:08, Marka Ragnos said:

Now on a social and society level, surely sometimes “compassion shaming.“ may actually sometimes be kind of a good thing. But I can also see how it could be more pathological on an interpersonal level.

You know, I thought some more about this thing I posted, then I read a really cool article about shame and mental health, and now I'm thinking that shame just really is always bad as a way to address problems. There is no such thing as "good" shaming, at any level. Maybe it's partly why we have some divisiveness online. People are always shaming people.

Quote

 

When an educator, journalist, politician, mental health theorist, or inner subpersonality (a.k.a. part) praises the corrective benefits of feeling shameful, don’t believe it. Shamefulness drives two costly categories of behavior: (1) avoidance and (2) aggression.

Likewise, don’t believe authorities (external or internal) who extol the benefits of shaming others to police or socialize them, be they adults or children. Shaming functions mainly to mask a personal vulnerability and help the shamer feel superior. Accordingly, we cannot say that some shaming is good (the I’m going to improve you! kind) and some is bad (I’m going to crush you!).

Plain and simple, shaming is a self-interested act.

 

 

 

Edited January 12 by Marka Ragnos

[blandy]

On 09/01/2024 at 20:54, Chindie said:

This isn't a life. I've had enough.

You haven't. And we haven't had enough of you. The world needs a Chindie in it for a while yet. Do a thing. Make a cup, of tea, savour it, look at the sky and watch the clouds move. They move and pass over you on to some where else. New ones come along, and they pass too. Then the sun comes out, and it's different.

[Chindie]

Funnily enough I received a referral confirmation this meeting from a mental health service. Last time that just was a round about way to get me into CBT which didn't do anything, so we'll see what this one achieves.

I've had more thoughts of topping myself this week, more clear/vivid than the usual musings. Things aren't good. I'm thinking about what this life actually is. I can't do much. This week I barely managed to go to the pharmacy which I genuinely could hit with a stone and a decent run up from the end of my drive. I've struggled with going to pick my girlfriend up, a very short drive away, of an evening. And then that's true of everything, so I don't do anything - I've still not got the milk I wanted to get on Tuesday.

And then you extrapolate that out. There's things I'd like to do, I'd like to travel a bit, I'd like to get back to the places we went to when I was younger to see family and so on. I'd like to go to the cinema. I'd like to have the feeling I can just go do these things.

And more fundamentally I'd like to open my horizons to getting a better job, to put more money in my pocket. I can't because of this, I can't realistically expect to get a better job when I can't leave the house.

And that puts paid to everything else. More money is the key to so much, and I'm probably (imo, maybe I'm wrong) a decent candidate for better things in my field.

It's also wasting the time of my girlfriend in so many ways.

And it makes everything else worse because you feel so bad all the time and so frustrated and angry and worn down when you've done nothing because you can't do anything, so your motivation and energy is sapped anyway.

I put a brave face on it but I want to scream until my lungs bleed and smash the entire place to atoms.

Which isn't the best mindplace to sit at your desk and pull apart proposal forms and try to make sales.

[lapal_fan]

7 hours ago, Chindie said:

Funnily enough I received a referral confirmation this meeting from a mental health service. Last time that just was a round about way to get me into CBT which didn't do anything, so we'll see what this one achieves.

I've had more thoughts of topping myself this week, more clear/vivid than the usual musings. Things aren't good. I'm thinking about what this life actually is. I can't do much. This week I barely managed to go to the pharmacy which I genuinely could hit with a stone and a decent run up from the end of my drive. I've struggled with going to pick my girlfriend up, a very short drive away, of an evening. And then that's true of everything, so I don't do anything - I've still not got the milk I wanted to get on Tuesday.

And then you extrapolate that out. There's things I'd like to do, I'd like to travel a bit, I'd like to get back to the places we went to when I was younger to see family and so on. I'd like to go to the cinema. I'd like to have the feeling I can just go do these things.

And more fundamentally I'd like to open my horizons to getting a better job, to put more money in my pocket. I can't because of this, I can't realistically expect to get a better job when I can't leave the house.

And that puts paid to everything else. More money is the key to so much, and I'm probably (imo, maybe I'm wrong) a decent candidate for better things in my field.

It's also wasting the time of my girlfriend in so many ways.

And it makes everything else worse because you feel so bad all the time and so frustrated and angry and worn down when you've done nothing because you can't do anything, so your motivation and energy is sapped anyway.

I put a brave face on it but I want to scream until my lungs bleed and smash the entire place to atoms.

Which isn't the best mindplace to sit at your desk and pull apart proposal forms and try to make sales.

I've been working from home a lot over the last 6 months because of a new job.

I've got more money per month than I've ever had, but I'm not feeling any happier.  

I feel quite lonely and isolated quite often and it's because I'm not getting out.

I'm putting on loads of weight too, which isn't good for my health.

I go to bed most nights at about 12.30am because I sit up and play playstation.

I struggle to wake up and help my family get to school etc.

I do, do it, but I don't do it well, not least as well as my family deserve from me.

So Wednesday I went for a walk, and ended up out of the house for 2 hours, walking around my estate, in a loop which includes a decent sized hill.. 6 times.

On Thursday, I signed up to Park run, because @Paddywhack was really **** annoying about doing one (turns out, the prick isn't even running, he's "volunteering".. the dickhead), so I'm going to get up and do whatever it takes to run/walk 5km.

Tonight, I went to the gym for the first time and did a program for 2x20 minutes based on Stan Collymores twitter, where you run/walk/run.  I think it's interval training.

Nearly killed me, but the buzz as I sit here aching like a dumbass seems like something I want again.

And if I don't do it for me, I'm doing it for my family, because they deserve a better me.  I've let myself down physically for a number of years, I've started to let myself down mentally too, and I'm not prepared to let that happen.

We on OT all know your struggles Chindie, I hope you find the spark that ignites your inner fire and you get back to that Emo haired, social person I remember you being from a photo you posted... years ago.

Good luck, I know you'll have an update for us (all) sooner or later.

 

[MakemineVanilla]

On 08/01/2024 at 18:25, Xela said:

You'll be fine once you are there. I was anxious on my last long haul trip, but once I got there, it was all good. 

The British transport system is run on the same lines as the evacuation of Dunkirk - long queues and a lot of dependence on the kindness of strangers.

 

[Xela]

On 07/01/2024 at 21:20, Xela said:

Always find January tough. Definitely sitting here with the Sunday night blues, as I face the prospect of a 5am alarm call tomorrow and a full week at work. 

Well, the full week at work was shit!

Nothing that I was fearing, just new stuff that happened during the week - but, all sorted and logged off today in a much better position. 

One week closer to retirement. 

[lapal_fan]

Ignore my last post, I've posted about 10 times in an hour and that included wanking whilst spying on women, punching Xela and just being an annoying clearing in the woods.

 

[rjw63]

8 hours ago, Chindie said:

Funnily enough I received a referral confirmation this meeting from a mental health service. Last time that just was a round about way to get me into CBT which didn't do anything, so we'll see what this one achieves.

I've had more thoughts of topping myself this week, more clear/vivid than the usual musings. Things aren't good. I'm thinking about what this life actually is. I can't do much. This week I barely managed to go to the pharmacy which I genuinely could hit with a stone and a decent run up from the end of my drive. I've struggled with going to pick my girlfriend up, a very short drive away, of an evening. And then that's true of everything, so I don't do anything - I've still not got the milk I wanted to get on Tuesday.

And then you extrapolate that out. There's things I'd like to do, I'd like to travel a bit, I'd like to get back to the places we went to when I was younger to see family and so on. I'd like to go to the cinema. I'd like to have the feeling I can just go do these things.

And more fundamentally I'd like to open my horizons to getting a better job, to put more money in my pocket. I can't because of this, I can't realistically expect to get a better job when I can't leave the house.

And that puts paid to everything else. More money is the key to so much, and I'm probably (imo, maybe I'm wrong) a decent candidate for better things in my field.

It's also wasting the time of my girlfriend in so many ways.

And it makes everything else worse because you feel so bad all the time and so frustrated and angry and worn down when you've done nothing because you can't do anything, so your motivation and energy is sapped anyway.

I put a brave face on it but I want to scream until my lungs bleed and smash the entire place to atoms.

Which isn't the best mindplace to sit at your desk and pull apart proposal forms and try to make sales.

I'm interested to know how having a girlfriend works into your problems.

Do you see her often? Do you actually manage a physical relationship(sometimes the mindset will not allow this)?

What does she think of your predicament?

Not trying to be nosey, genuinely interested.

[Chindie]

3 minutes ago, rjw63 said:

I'm interested to know how having a girlfriend works into your problems.

Do you see her often? Do you actually manage a physical relationship(sometimes the mindset will not allow this)?

What does she think of your predicament?

Not trying to be nosey, genuinely interested.

We have a slightly strange relationship, as far as most people would think.

We've been together for nearly 11 years. We don't live together, but we don't live far apart. We met at work and it turned out we took the same bus so we commuted together, would get a coffee before work, have lunch together, sometimes do something after work, and spend Saturday evenings together, sometimes going out to a film, occasionally a meal, or just getting a takeaway in.

That's changed over the years but now the situation is basically we spend a couple of hours together 6 nights a week. For a while I cooked dinner for us both and we'd watch a few things and chat, but we stopped that after I was struggling with finishing work and then going straight into the kitchen and often the stuff we were doing was shit. I pick her up and take her home - she's lives within walking distance, she used to just walk here and I drop her back.

The physical side isn't great currently. We didn't see each other much at all over COVID due to my being at risk and her family also being at risk. After we relaxed that we don't really have the situation to go further than that, there was also some awkwardness about how to transition back into that kind of thing, and also frankly I don't feel attractive at the moment - I'm fat and haven't looked after myself at all, basically fundamental neglect of myself.

I don't really know what she thinks. It's difficult to talk about and we're both not great at discussing these things - we're both a bit 'autistic', for want of a better word, with how we think and talk about things, so there's not much she will feel is worth saying because there's nothing she can say that she feels will help. And I don't like talking about it because it's pathetic.

Part of what worries me with all this is what becomes of us. There's various reasons why we don't live together and none of them are the way I am, to my knowledge. But I know that I can't really live a normal life like this. We talk about things like in the future we will be together, but I know as I am I can't do 'normal' things. I do wonder whether that is a factor in matters that we don't want to address.

[MakemineVanilla]

14 hours ago, lapal_fan said:

Ignore my last post, I've posted about 10 times in an hour and that included wanking whilst spying on women, punching Xela and just being an annoying clearing in the woods.

 

One of the problems with working at home is lack of the time structure which going to work provides: boredom is defined as "structure hunger" by psychologists.

Experiment with a timetable of when you work and when you take breaks; and try to stick to it.

Make sure you are getting enough sleep and set a time for doing your walks.

 

 

[tinka]

15 hours ago, MakemineVanilla said:

Life is based on the same lines as the evacuation of Dunkirk - long queues and a lot of dependence on the kindness of strangers.

 

Changed it for you, think it sums up life in general.

[MakemineVanilla]

31 minutes ago, tinka said:

Changed it for you, think it sums up life in general.

You are Blanche DuBois and I claim the five pounds!

[leighavfc]

My mental health issues all stem from years of drug use and abuse tbh. I don’t want to take anything away from those who genuinely suffer day to day without substance abuse, mine is self inflicted totally.....

 

i have tried to get sectioned and taken out of society a few times now... the reason being I’m a danger to myself and others also. Because of the drugs and my addiction they won’t section me at all which I understand to an extent....they say its the drugs making me feel that way... I’m getting to the point where I will be the next suicide stat though..... and I feel as if my drug use is me slowly trying to kill myself.

i want out from the pain I’m in and causing everybody, I do N/A 4 times a week amd it’s just not enough to stop me. I genuinely want to die and stop the pain... that’s not a realistic option but I don’t know what else to do... my ex partner who works in a&e said I have to literally threaten people to be sectioned. That’s not me at all, I want to harm myself and nobody else.

 

the song take me away by 4 strings says it all for me... take ,e away.... a million miles away from here.

Edited January 14 by leighavfc

[TheAuthority]

2 hours ago, leighavfc said:

My mental health issues all stem from years of drug use and abuse tbh. I don’t want to take anything away from those who genuinely suffer day to day without substance abuse, mine is self inflicted totally.....

 

i have tried to get sectioned and taken out of society a few times now... the reason being I’m a danger to myself and others also. Because of the drugs and my addiction they won’t section me at all which I understand to an extent....they say its the drugs making me feel that way... I’m getting to the point where I will be the next suicide stat though..... and I feel as if my drug use is me slowly trying to kill myself.

i want out from the pain I’m in and causing everybody, I do N/A 4 times a week amd it’s just not enough to stop me. I genuinely want to die and stop the pain... that’s not a realistic option but I don’t know what else to do... my ex partner who works in a&e said I have to literally threaten people to be sectioned. That’s not me at all, I want to harm myself and nobody else.

 

the song take me away by 4 strings says it all for me... take ,e away.... a million miles away from here.

Hi @leighavfc I don't know you but you can beat this. You are valued and you can begin to lead a fulfilling life.

It will take time and work, but you can beat whatever this is.

Please feel free to PM and there are many VT'ers who struggle with mental health who will support you on your journey.

[Mandy Lifeboats]

4 hours ago, leighavfc said:

My mental health issues all stem from years of drug use and abuse tbh. I don’t want to take anything away from those who genuinely suffer day to day without substance abuse, mine is self inflicted totally.....

 

i have tried to get sectioned and taken out of society a few times now... the reason being I’m a danger to myself and others also. Because of the drugs and my addiction they won’t section me at all which I understand to an extent....they say its the drugs making me feel that way... I’m getting to the point where I will be the next suicide stat though..... and I feel as if my drug use is me slowly trying to kill myself.

i want out from the pain I’m in and causing everybody, I do N/A 4 times a week amd it’s just not enough to stop me. I genuinely want to die and stop the pain... that’s not a realistic option but I don’t know what else to do... my ex partner who works in a&e said I have to literally threaten people to be sectioned. That’s not me at all, I want to harm myself and nobody else.

 

the song take me away by 4 strings says it all for me... take ,e away.... a million miles away from here.

OK........let's talk.....either in public or send me a private message. 

What are you doing about your drug problem?  Are you getting professional help?  

What are you doing about your mental health problem?  Are you getting professional help? 

 

[Rugeley Villa]

Keep reaching out @leighavfc 

I honestly don’t know what to say to you but boy I know you’re in a lot of pain and suffering.  I just wish you could pull through it. Yes drugs is a choice but is there an underlying reason why we take drugs? The 12 steps seeks to help us find that out .  Pray to god and keep praying, even go to church along with your meetings, just do anything apart from taking drugs and killing  yourself .