lapal_fan Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 17 minutes ago, mjmooney said: Well the bride and groom are paying for some stuff, but we're taking the biggest hit. TBF, he thinks they'll probably cough up anyway, but yes, it's a bit awkward. They are certainly no poorer than we are, anyway. Not going to get into a tizz about it, but it's poor form IMHO. Get a great big loan and then just kill yourselves after so you don't have to pay it back. I did it and have never looked back. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob182 Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 35 minutes ago, StefanAVFC said: What's this no full stop gimmick all about? I see it as a 'Chris Simpsons Artist' attempt at being funny/mentally limited. Luckily, his best man speech was not said like that. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PompeyVillan Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 36 minutes ago, mjmooney said: Well the bride and groom are paying for some stuff, but we're taking the biggest hit. TBF, he thinks they'll probably cough up anyway, but yes, it's a bit awkward. They are certainly no poorer than we are, anyway. Not going to get into a tizz about it, but it's poor form IMHO. It is poor form. The average wedding cost is something ridiculous like £15,000. Alot of young folk can't afford that without help from family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlwaysAVFC Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 My mate went to his girlfriends Dad to do the traditional thing and him if he could marry her. His response was you can F**k off if you if you think I'm giving any money towards it, lovely guy! Anyway this is all pretty relevant to me as a few months a go I mentioned I'd bought a ring. As long as I find the right moment We're going away for a couple of days tomorrow and planning on doing it if I think the moment is right. The only thing holding me back is I know my Mrs wants me to do the same and I've not got round to doing it yet, so I've either got to find an excuse to go out and just turn up at their doorstep, ask her any way or wait. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davkaus Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 (edited) Seems like a bizarre tradition that's simply ridiculous in 21st century Britain. I'm nowhere near to proposing, but I suspect if I asked my gf's dad for permission to marry her, he'd tell me to **** off, and treat her like a grown woman not a piece of property. Edit: but good luck, etc Edited August 21, 2017 by Davkaus 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlwaysAVFC Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 2 minutes ago, Davkaus said: Seems like a bizarre tradition that's simply ridiculous in 21st century Britain. I'm nowhere near to proposing, but I suspect if I asked my gf's dad for permission to marry her, he'd tell me to **** off, and treat her like a grown woman not a piece of property. The whole proposal/marriage thing from start to finish is outdated and bizarre to the modern world though really isn't i? I don't have a problem following it, if it makes people happy because that's how they feel things should be done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted August 21, 2017 VT Supporter Share Posted August 21, 2017 I think I already mentioned that the prospective son in law came round and asked for my daughter's hand in marriage. They've been living together for ten years, so it did seem a bit whimsical. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PompeyVillan Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 I didn't ask her dad's permission because quite frankly I didn't need it. And he didn't 'give' my wife away either as she's not his to give He's an absolutely smashing bloke and he wasn't offended or at least if he was, he wouldn't say. I didn't get down on one knee either, which perhaps in retrospect I don't know whether that was a bit militant. But balls to it, we're equals, I adore her so I think it's demeaning that only the man can propose and the dad must give consent and 'give' her away. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 3 hours ago, mjmooney said: Our daughter's wedding, latest. It was understood upfront that we would share the cost of the thing with the groom's parents. So far, we've forked out for the venue deposit and several other sundry costs. Now the groom casually relays to us a conversation he had with his dad: "Oh, we've decided to get some windows done, so we may not be able to help out with the wedding, after all". Well, thanks a bunch. Shocking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 I wanted to ask my father in law, but I chickened out. I don't think he likes me in that anyway. But seriously, I didn't really see it as being sexist or me seeing it...I mean her as an object, but I guess it is. There's loads of things that could be considered a bit dated now that people still do because its tradition, I guess. The father giving the bride away, only the blokes doing speeches, the bride taking the groom's name. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 21, 2017 VT Supporter Share Posted August 21, 2017 I've already told my OH that if we get married I won't be asking her Dad for permission. She was a bit taken aback at first and my response was "just think about how stupid and sexist that tradition is?" She's fine with it now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted August 21, 2017 VT Supporter Share Posted August 21, 2017 On the name thing, there are some intriguing coincidences in our family. Obviously, my wife married a MOONEY. One of her sisters married a MALTBY (M----Y) Her other sister married a POOLEY (-OO-EY) My daughter is marrying a MAYBURY (M-----Y) The other daughter may have to trade in her partner (DALE) if she's going to stick with the pattern. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 If I ever get married then my ideal wedding would just be the 2 of us on a beach somewhere. Family can come if they want but its optional. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a m ole Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 11 minutes ago, mjmooney said: On the name thing, there are some intriguing coincidences in our family. Obviously, my wife married a MOONEY. One of her sisters married a MALTBY (M----Y) Her other sister married a POOLEY (-OO-EY) My daughter is marrying a MAYBURY (M-----Y) The other daughter may have to trade in her partner (DALE) if she's going to stick with the pattern. Does she like bald chaps? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted August 21, 2017 VT Supporter Share Posted August 21, 2017 1 hour ago, a m ole said: Does she like bald chaps? 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeyp102 Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 I don't see a problem asking the father. Unless he's a complete prick he's not going to say no. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 2 hours ago, Xela said: If I ever get married then my ideal wedding would just be the 2 of us on a beach somewhere. Family can come if they want but its optional. Kind of what I did (10 years ago in January). Caribean beach, both sets of parents, brothers/sister with partners and that's it. Nobody had any littles ones. It worked out brilliantly. We had a few people who tried to invite themselves but we said it was close family only... Big party when we got back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlwaysAVFC Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 Well, decided to go with it and nipped out to check the cars tyre pressure and go ask her Dad. It made no odds to me and I'm sure her Dad wouldn't have minded either way but she wanted me to and that's all that matters to me. No turning back now. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PompeyVillan Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 Nothing wrong with asking paps if you can marry his daughter, just wasn't for me. Most important in my opinion is that folk do what they want and what makes them happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeyp102 Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 1 minute ago, PompeyVillan said: Nothing wrong with asking paps if you can marry his daughter, just wasn't for me. Most important in my opinion is that folk do what they want and what makes them happy. @Rugeley Villa did that at his wedding... don't think it's that recommended 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts