Irreverentad's Relationship Advice Thread

[Xela]

On 8/2/2017 at 20:16, mottaloo said:

I signed up to one for a 6 months' trial last month. A few observations:

1. I'm 52. Sure I'd love a younger model but am realistic. The amount of 60yr+ women message me is amazing. 72 was the oldest !

2. A few contact me first, surely indicating they want to start the ball rolling. However, this week alone 3 have blocked me after my first reply and I've said nothing creepy (yet) !

3. It's either feast or famine. I go days without any visitors and then bam ! I get 4 or 5 messages in 48 hrs.

4. I'm no Bradley Cooper i admit but the number of absolute mooses that try it on has now got me thinking that's all who'd be interested in me.

5. I admit i have written a few very witty messages and i get the most bland and boring replies back.

6. I dont want to see pics of their dog, fave holiday destination, a glass of prosecco. I want to see pics of YOU, preferably without those filter apps that make your face thinner, eyes big like bambi or those fckin stupid mickey mouse ears !

Don't let me put you off trying it but take a deep breath and dont let your BP rise too much with some of these indecisive, frustrating  and drab women on here, some of whom really have a few bob on themselves. 

Listen mate, we all know you want the 72yo. Just go for it. We won't judge you! 

I have browsed a few dating sites and some of the arrogant profiles women put up makes me laugh. Demanding this, demanding that. I daresay it is the same the other way round. 

She can be stunning but if her profile reads like a shopping list then she can go **** off. 

[Xela]

12 hours ago, Demitri_C said:

I am quite a confident guy but even i find the initial approach a bit challenging as you tend to overthink things if you get rejected but if you just dont even think about what COULD happen and just do it usually works.

If you approach 20 girls and 19 reject you and go home with one its still success and you will forget about the other 19.

Ahhh the "throw enough shit and some of it will stick" approach. It is fine if you are 21 and looking for a one night stand, not if you are nearing 40 and are looking for something a bit more! 

[mottaloo]

11 minutes ago, Xela said:

 

She can be stunning but if her profile reads like a shopping list then she can go **** off. 

Prob is that the 72yr old has never heard of DHUTWU....unless i showed her 

Yeah some of the profiles make themselves out to be ball breaking bitches, esp the ones who are in senior/executive mgt roles. Then there's the high maintenance princesses who honestly believe they can bag george clooney.

Sure, there's a few blokes on those sites just as vacuous like you say. 

You'll be fine dude. A bit of patience that's all. 

[Ginko]

On 02/08/2017 at 22:51, Ingram85 said:

Anyone ever been with a girl who through no fault of her own gets a lot of male attention? Its a potential confidence shatterer for me as I'm quite down on myself looks wise and she is quite a stunning girl to me. I know every girl gets their fair share of blokes trying it on but I think its a daily occurrence for her. Not sure if I'll be able to handle it tbh, think over time it would wear me down.

I remember seeing a couple of pictures of you, dude. You're a good looking lad! Have more confidence in yourself, women like it. #ghey4Ingram

[Ginko]

Update on my situation with the new lady friend: Just under two weeks in and it's still amazing. She's staying over at mine for the first time tonight. Can't **** wait...

Also, just to weigh in on the dating scene conversation, I was on a couple of sites and met maybe a couple of nice enough girls there though I wasn't really trying as hard as I could have. No spark though, it really is a tough one. Personally I find it much better to know the girl first in real life and then I gradually become more and more attracted to them and it goes from there. My current girlfriend and I have been friends for over two years, despite being attracted to each other initially though certain things were in the way. Now was just the right time for us.

I'm no expert by any stretch, I've gotten lucky with this one. The traditional dating scene is not really my thing though.

[Demitri_C]

35 minutes ago, Ginko said:

Update on my situation with the new lady friend: Just under two weeks in and it's still amazing. She's staying over at mine for the first time tonight. Can't **** wait...

Also, just to weigh in on the dating scene conversation, I was on a couple of sites and met maybe a couple of nice enough girls there though I wasn't really trying as hard as I could have. No spark though, it really is a tough one. Personally I find it much better to know the girl first in real life and then I gradually become more and more attracted to them and it goes from there. My current girlfriend and I have been friends for over two years, despite being attracted to each other initially though certain things were in the way. Now was just the right time for us.

I'm no expert by any stretch, I've gotten lucky with this one. The traditional dating scene is not really my thing though.

Your story is great because usually once you are friend zoned thats it. 

[Ginko]

5 hours ago, Demitri_C said:

Your story is great because usually once you are friend zoned thats it. 

Thanks dude, but personally I think the friendzone is a bit of a myth. I'm sure a lot of girls probably believe in it too, which perpetuates it, but they're not really the kind of girls I'd want to date anyway. If they need to play games like that to keep things exciting then it's really not going to work out. I prefer to keep things interesting and exciting by just doing fun things together and having a laugh. None of this 'who should text first' bullshit. It does my head in. Any girl who wants to do that can quite happily put me in the friendzone.

I'm not saying it always works out if you're friends first. Sometimes it's just obvious there isn't a spark there and you can absolutely be good friends with a girl and that's that. As for me and my missus (can I call her that after two weeks official? I dunno) like I said, there was an initial spark and attraction from both of us but we didn't tell each other because of other things. Our attraction just grew stronger the better friends we became though. She's in the minority in my experience, but she's exactly the same as me in that regard which just makes us a really good match.

As I stressed earlier, I'm no expert, but if friendzoning was a thing that applied to every woman then I'd probably go live on a mountain somewhere as a hermit.

[hogso]

You'll always be in my heart, ginkers 

[Rugeley Villa]

I just couldn't hang out with a girl as friends. At somepoint I'd have to try it on. Obviously I'm talking if I was single here.

[jackbauer24]

33 minutes ago, Rugeley Villa said:

I just couldn't hang out with a girl as friends. At somepoint I'd have to try it on. Obviously I'm talking if I was single here.

I often think this. Is it just an individual thing or just a bloke thing; does everyone have thoughts about female friends that are a bit more than platonic even if you don't react to them? I've had a wandering mind or a dream (genuine dream - not daydream!) about good looking female friends even if 100% committed to my relationship. It's probably just biology that the human race tries to pretend doesn't exist.

[Rugeley Villa]

17 minutes ago, jackbauer24 said:

I often think this. Is it just an individual thing or just a bloke thing; does everyone have thoughts about female friends that are a bit more than platonic even if you don't react to them? I've had a wandering mind or a dream (genuine dream - not daydream!) about good looking female friends even if 100% committed to my relationship. It's probably just biology that the human race tries to pretend doesn't exist.

We are just dogs. I think it's in the DNA of most men.

[lapal_fan]

2 hours ago, hogso said:

You'll always be in my heart, ginkers 

Well that's obvious considering you're the same **** person.

[Stevo985]

8 hours ago, Ginko said:

Thanks dude, but personally I think the friendzone is a bit of a myth. I'm sure a lot of girls probably believe in it too, which perpetuates it, but they're not really the kind of girls I'd want to date anyway. If they need to play games like that to keep things exciting then it's really not going to work out. I prefer to keep things interesting and exciting by just doing fun things together and having a laugh. None of this 'who should text first' bullshit. It does my head in. Any girl who wants to do that can quite happily put me in the friendzone.

I'm not saying it always works out if you're friends first. Sometimes it's just obvious there isn't a spark there and you can absolutely be good friends with a girl and that's that. As for me and my missus (can I call her that after two weeks official? I dunno) like I said, there was an initial spark and attraction from both of us but we didn't tell each other because of other things. Our attraction just grew stronger the better friends we became though. She's in the minority in my experience, but she's exactly the same as me in that regard which just makes us a really good match.

As I stressed earlier, I'm no expert, but if friendzoning was a thing that applied to every woman then I'd probably go live on a mountain somewhere as a hermit.

The friendzone isn't a myth, and neither is it a game.

I've been in it and it's hell

[Mark Albrighton]

12 hours ago, jackbauer24 said:

I often think this. Is it just an individual thing or just a bloke thing; does everyone have thoughts about female friends that are a bit more than platonic even if you don't react to them? I've had a wandering mind or a dream (genuine dream - not daydream!) about good looking female friends even if 100% committed to my relationship. It's probably just biology that the human race tries to pretend doesn't exist.

 

[Demitri_C]

10 hours ago, Stevo985 said:

The friendzone isn't a myth, and neither is it a game.

I've been in it and it's hell

This. Once you are there with a lot of women it's very difficult to get out. Thankfully I've only been friend zoned twice in my life

[Xela]

On 8/3/2017 at 20:53, Mat Kendrick's Dentist said:

Go on then? Lee Hendrie is my guess?

I couldn't possibly confirm that but the said footballer ran into financial trouble in later life. 

[Ginko]

I'm friends with a fair few girls and that's all it is. I've had crushes on a couple of them here and there but for the most part it's strictly platonic with perhaps a jokey flirt every now and again. I don't see what the big deal is, frankly.

[rjw63]

8 hours ago, Ginko said:

I'm friends with a fair few girls and that's all it is. I've had crushes on a couple of them here and there but for the most part it's strictly platonic with perhaps a jokey gob job every now and again. I don't see what the big deal is, frankly.

Nah nor me

[Seat68]

When I was very young I was king of the friendzone. Horrible place. 

[Stevo985]

21 hours ago, Ginko said:

I'm friends with a fair few girls and that's all it is. I've had crushes on a couple of them here and there but for the most part it's strictly platonic with perhaps a jokey flirt every now and again. I don't see what the big deal is, frankly.

That's not the friendzone. That's being friends with a female. 

The friendzone is when you're friends with a girl but you want to be in a relationship. They don't. Yet you're too smitten with them to cut the friendship off. So you just continue being friends even though it makes you miserable, in some vain hope that she'll suddenly change her mind and fall for you. 

 

It's horrible.