mottaloo Posted August 6, 2017 Share Posted August 6, 2017 "You're such a good friend !" Five words a smitten lad never wants to hear from a hot girl they fancy 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted August 6, 2017 Share Posted August 6, 2017 Yep, the friendzone is a horrible barren land It has happened to the best of us more than once i'm sure. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post chrisp65 Posted August 6, 2017 Popular Post Share Posted August 6, 2017 16 minutes ago, mottaloo said: "You're such a good friend !" "yeah, well real friends would show each other their titties and practice on each other for when 'Mr Right' arrives, mate" that should resolve it one way or the other 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted August 6, 2017 Share Posted August 6, 2017 3 hours ago, Xela said: Yep, the friendzone is a horrible barren land It has happened to the best of us more than once i'm sure. Not me. Proudly under the thumb since 16 As they they used to say "you lot are just a bunch of pansies" (Someone ask me how that 1 vagina is going for me ) 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted August 6, 2017 Share Posted August 6, 2017 I remember back at 6th form I had it quite bad for a girl who had me nice and securely in the friend zone. When I hooked up with someone else she made this whole fuss about how she secretly wanted me. Then when the relationship finished she wasn't interested in anything more than friends... Women love to have a guy in the friend zone. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seat68 Posted August 6, 2017 Share Posted August 6, 2017 17. Smitten with a girl from Erdington who was 20 and in love with someone else. I was such a good friend. Terrible time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted August 7, 2017 Share Posted August 7, 2017 (edited) 19 hours ago, Stevo985 said: That's not the friendzone. That's being friends with a female. The friendzone is when you're friends with a girl but you want to be in a relationship. They don't. Yet you're too smitten with them to cut the friendship off. So you just continue being friends even though it makes you miserable, in some vain hope that she'll suddenly change her mind and fall for you. It's horrible. I wasn't describing the friendzone, I was merely stating men and women can be friends. I've certainly been in the situation a couple of times before where I've had feelings for a female friend and whilst initially some stuff did happen, eventually she preferred me as a friend. Obviously I did the whole 'I'll show her what a good guy I am and she'll fall for me', but neither time did it work out. I just think it's a bit of a silly notion is all and men sound pretty whiny when they complain about it. It sucks when your feelings are unrequited, but that's all it is. From the girl's perspective, it's not like they think 'well I fancy him but we're such good mates it'd be a shame to jeopardise it'. That's just some crap they tell themselves and you to try and make you (and themselves) feel better about the awkward situation. The simple truth is they just don't fancy you enough. It may be physical, in which case there's nothing you can do about it. It may be something daft like she needs more of a challenge and you're too nice and therefore not exciting enough. If that's the case the she's not worth it and not right for you. Even if she did give it a chance it probably wouldn't work out. Edited August 7, 2017 by Ginko 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 7, 2017 VT Supporter Share Posted August 7, 2017 (edited) 1 hour ago, Ginko said: I wasn't describing the friendzone, I was merely stating men and women can be friends. I've certainly been in the situation a couple of times before where I've had feelings for a female friend and whilst initially some stuff did happen, eventually she preferred me as a friend. Obviously I did the whole 'I'll show her what a good guy I am and she'll fall for me', but neither time did it work out. I just think it's a bit of a silly notion is all and men sound pretty whiny when they complain about it. It sucks when your feelings are unrequited, but that's all it is. From the girl's perspective, it's not like they think 'well I fancy him but we're such good mates it'd be a shame to jeopardise it'. That's just some crap they tell themselves and you to try and make you (and themselves) feel better about the awkward situation. The simple truth is they just don't fancy you enough. It may be physical, in which case there's nothing you can do about it. It may be something daft like she needs more of a challenge and you're too nice and therefore not exciting enough. If that's the case the she's not worth it and not right for you. Even if she did give it a chance it probably wouldn't work out. That is the friendzone that you've described. I don't really know what you mean by it's a silly notion. You seem to be saying it doesn't exist but then you've described exactly what it is... (it's worth noting that it works both ways between both sexes. It's not a male only thing) I'm not sure what we are disagreeing on Edited August 7, 2017 by Stevo985 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted August 7, 2017 Share Posted August 7, 2017 I'm just saying it's daft that people give this sort of thing a name, like men or women think to themselves, nah, I'm going to put them in the friendzone. You just don't fancy them like they fancy you is all. It's been going on for centuries, yet no one made it into something it isn't. I was also relating it to my current experience, in that my girlfriend and I were friends first and then the attraction grew. Nether of us out each other in the friendzone, just like neither of us thought about it when we decided we liked each other. It's a silly notion that people create when they don't fancy someone that fancies them in return. But we can stop going back and forth if you like. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mottaloo Posted August 7, 2017 Share Posted August 7, 2017 3 hours ago, Ginko said: It may be something daft like she needs more of a challenge and you're too nice and therefore not exciting enough. Ah yes...reminds me of the oft used phrase I've heard over the years : " I don't go looking for bad boys; i just end up with one (woe is me !)" Goes out with bad boy > gets treated like sh1t > dumps/gets dumped > vows never ever to date a bad boy again >.....well, you know what happens next... ...and repeat. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted August 7, 2017 Share Posted August 7, 2017 1 hour ago, mottaloo said: Ah yes...reminds me of the oft used phrase I've heard over the years : " I don't go looking for bad boys; i just end up with one (woe is me !)" Goes out with bad boy > gets treated like sh1t > dumps/gets dumped > vows never ever to date a bad boy again >.....well, you know what happens next... ...and repeat. Posts on Facebook how they just want a guy who is going to treat them like a princess... then dates the biggest prick she can find. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mottaloo Posted August 7, 2017 Share Posted August 7, 2017 19 minutes ago, Genie said: Posts on Facebook how they just want a guy who is going to treat them like a princess... then dates the biggest prick she can find. Before anyone has a pop at me, yes i know there are folk out there with low self esteem/confidence issues or those who are genuinely unlucky but i have known at least 6 women I've worked with or I've known socially that keep on picking d1ckheads and then sit there, scratching their arses in disbelief when it happens again. Yes, of course i - as a nice guy, who's feelings went unrequited - have a biased opinion on this but sometimes you have to be a special kind of stupid to allow yourself to be in that position more than a couple of times ! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 7, 2017 VT Supporter Share Posted August 7, 2017 (edited) 1 hour ago, Ginko said: I'm just saying it's daft that people give this sort of thing a name, like men or women think to themselves, nah, I'm going to put them in the friendzone. You just don't fancy them like they fancy you is all. It's been going on for centuries, yet no one made it into something it isn't. I was also relating it to my current experience, in that my girlfriend and I were friends first and then the attraction grew. Nether of us out each other in the friendzone, just like neither of us thought about it when we decided we liked each other. It's a silly notion that people create when they don't fancy someone that fancies them in return. But we can stop going back and forth if you like. But I think you've got it backwards. it's not deliberate. It's not a conscious decision to put someone in the friendzone. That's not the context it's used in. It's just a name for that particular situation where two people are friends, one fancies the other and the feeling isn't reciprocated. If I fancy a bird I'm mates with, and she doesn't fancy me back, I'd tell people I'm in the friendzone. I wouldn't think she'd be going round telling people I'm in her friendzone. She'd be oblivious to the whole thing. The situation with your missus is nothing to do with the "friendzone". That's just two people being friends and it turning into a relationship. The only time that would have been referred to as the firendzone would be if you fell for her and she just wanted to stay friends. That makes it the friendzone. Edited August 7, 2017 by Stevo985 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted August 7, 2017 Share Posted August 7, 2017 Fair enough, I know what you're saying, but in my experience the guys I know who complain about it (and it is only guys that I've ever heard talk about it though I don't doubt women have the same complaint) do so in such a way like they're being treated unfairly, like it's anything other than the woman just not fancying them in return. There's a song by Thundercat that I really like called Friendzone. I only like the music, the lyrics are not only awful (but he's always been a shit lyricist anyway) but a load of old bollocks. It sums up how some of the guys I've encountered feel about it though: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 7, 2017 VT Supporter Share Posted August 7, 2017 1 hour ago, Ginko said: Fair enough, I know what you're saying, but in my experience the guys I know who complain about it (and it is only guys that I've ever heard talk about it though I don't doubt women have the same complaint) do so in such a way like they're being treated unfairly, like it's anything other than the woman just not fancying them in return. Yeah that's different. I suspect the term is abused by macho "lads" who use it as an excuse for why they haven't been able to shag a girl who is too good for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demitri_C Posted August 7, 2017 Share Posted August 7, 2017 3 hours ago, mottaloo said: Before anyone has a pop at me, yes i know there are folk out there with low self esteem/confidence issues or those who are genuinely unlucky but i have known at least 6 women I've worked with or I've known socially that keep on picking d1ckheads and then sit there, scratching their arses in disbelief when it happens again. Yes, of course i - as a nice guy, who's feelings went unrequited - have a biased opinion on this but sometimes you have to be a special kind of stupid to allow yourself to be in that position more than a couple of times ! Nice girls are boring to those kind of women,. What they say they like and what they actually go for are two different things Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davkaus Posted August 7, 2017 Share Posted August 7, 2017 I'm a bit skeptical about self-proclaimed "nice guys", tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackbauer24 Posted August 7, 2017 Share Posted August 7, 2017 44 minutes ago, Davkaus said: I'm a bit skeptical about self-proclaimed "nice guys", tbh. Nice guys are just wimps that don't pull all the crap that bad boys do but half secretly wish they could get away with it but don't because either they lack confidence, looks or let their morals control them more than most. I'm a self-proclaimed nice guy because of all three! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davkaus Posted August 7, 2017 Share Posted August 7, 2017 Whenever I hear someone describe themselves as a "nice guy", I think of this 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dodgyknees Posted August 7, 2017 Share Posted August 7, 2017 Been growing close to a work colleague. Bit of a mind ****. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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