Things you often Wonder

[Rugeley Villa]

4 minutes ago, Seat68 said:

401 hours. Constant peeing at 15ml a second to fill a 12m by 6m X 3m cubic metre room. 

You talking from experience?

[Seat68]

Just now, Rugeley Villa said:

You talking from experience?

3am pee. It's starts at 3am and feels like it goes on for a year. 

[Rugeley Villa]

4 minutes ago, Seat68 said:

3am pee. It's starts at 3am and feels like it goes on for a year. 

Our toilet is downstairs so it’s a nightmare. Got used to it now, but initially it was a pain in the arse . 

[mottaloo]

3 minutes ago, Seat68 said:

3am pee. It's starts at 3am and feels like it goes on for a year. 

These are the ones I do eyes closed in a vain attempt not to wake up too much so I can slink back to bed and get back to sleep.

Thing is, if I don't hear my wee hitting the water, I think I'm piddling on the rim or the floor so I open my eyes, redirect Perry so I can then hear my aqua pneumatic drill of a pee hitting the target.

Problem there is, it goes on forever and sounds like Shergar slashing away. This in turn wakes the other half up and i get a bollocking for that 

[Rds1983]

17 hours ago, Rugeley Villa said:

Our toilet is downstairs so it’s a nightmare. Got used to it now, but initially it was a pain in the arse . 

Might want to get your prostrate checked. 

[mjmooney]

29 minutes ago, Rds1983 said:

Might want to get your prostrate checked. 

Don't take that lying down. 

[PussEKatt]

5 hours ago, Rds1983 said:

Might want to get your prostrate checked. 

Get the doctor to use 2 fingers and give you a second opinion.

[fightoffyour]

I know what my longest piss was. After watching a band at a festival, during which I must've got through quite a few cans of pissy lager. Never need to piss so bad but held on for ages until the set finished. I knew it was going to be long so I pissed slowly and counted. Can;t quite remember the results but it was around 3 minutes. I came out after all that time looking so relieved that the person following me into the portaloo must've thought I'd done a massive poo in there.

[Seat68]

I work for a Preston company and I was driving up early one morning. I got to Junction 25 and thought, yeah could do with a pee now. Then I realised that as ever I was ridiculously early and the office wouldn't be open. So what I did is what any sane person would do. I drove towards Blackpool (trust me, that's not the best route to go). Driving towards Blackpool I am going through detail in my head, where are the public toilets. My bladder is bursting. Where can I park and pee. So I decide to drive to the place I know really very well and I know that they have toilets that are open 24 hours. St Annes. So bladder like a football, I drive there. Only to get stuck in traffic due to fracking protesters. I eventually get to St Annes and pee for an entire year. 

I am in the habit of driving miles out of my way for very minor things. It was no shock when I called my wife from St Annes and told her I needed a pee. 

[bannedfromHandV]

I used to work the bars at big gigs and festivals for a summer or two, great fun, cash in hand and a laugh with mates.

We did the Eminem three nights in Milton Keynes gigs and at the end of the last night we were allowed to buy all the alcohol that hadn’t been drank for dirt cheap prices, the only thing left however was red Reef. So of course everyone bought them, we prob paid about 20p a bottle or so. I’d nailed about 6 of them before we even got out of Milton Keynes and had another 20 odd to get through, then the coach driver announced there would be no stops on the journey back, we were travelling to Newport (Gwent)…..from Milton Keynes.

Anyway, I’d like to think that the coach driver considered that to be one of his single biggest mistakes as what we ended up having to do was pissing into cardboard pint cup things, then walking down the coach to throw it out of the drivers window, reaching across the driver in order to do so, with multiple full cups of piss.

In the end most of us gave up and just pissed on the floor of the coach.

It was magnificent.

[Sid4ever]

1 hour ago, Seat68 said:

I work for a Preston company and I was driving up early one morning. I got to Junction 25 and thought, yeah could do with a pee now. Then I realised that as ever I was ridiculously early and the office wouldn't be open. So what I did is what any sane person would do. I drove towards Blackpool (trust me, that's not the best route to go). Driving towards Blackpool I am going through detail in my head, where are the public toilets. My bladder is bursting. Where can I park and pee. So I decide to drive to the place I know really very well and I know that they have toilets that are open 24 hours. St Annes. So bladder like a football, I drive there. Only to get stuck in traffic due to fracking protesters. I eventually get to St Annes and pee for an entire year. 

I am in the habit of driving miles out of my way for very minor things. It was no shock when I called my wife from St Annes and told her I needed a pee. 

For my clarity, you drove past Charnock Richard services?

[Seat68]

42 minutes ago, Sid4ever said:

For my clarity, you drove past Charnock Richard services?

I absolutely did. 

[bickster]

1 hour ago, Sid4ever said:

For my clarity, you drove past Charnock Richard services?

Its usually the best policy tbh (unless you do the sneaky no entry left and come out near the old Camelot site and go piss in a field)

[Sid4ever]

22 minutes ago, bickster said:

Its usually the best policy tbh (unless you do the sneaky no entry left and come out near the old Camelot site and go piss in a field)

But why not just piss at the services?  Or am I missing something 

[bickster]

3 minutes ago, Sid4ever said:

But why not just piss at the services?  Or am I missing something 

If you're bursting for a piss the fields are closer by the time you've found a parking space

[Seat68]

In my defense I was not bursting at that point so thought I would chance my arm further along. 

[Sid4ever]

2 minutes ago, Seat68 said:

In my defense I was not bursting at that point so thought I would chance my arm further along. 

Feel free next time to knock on and you can piss freely at ours, just off J32

[sidcow]

5 hours ago, PussEKatt said:

Get the doctor to use 2 fingers and give you a second opinion.

Or even three 

[sidcow]

I needed a piss when I parked up for the match last night in the industrial estate I normally park in. 

I barrelled out of the car and started pissing into the bushes behind the car. 

I looked up and realised I was right in front of the CCTV camera.  I hope my teenie weenie doesn't end up on the internet out of revenge by the owners.

[Xela]

6 hours ago, Seat68 said:

I work for a Preston company and I was driving up early one morning. I got to Junction 25 and thought, yeah could do with a pee now. Then I realised that as ever I was ridiculously early and the office wouldn't be open. So what I did is what any sane person would do. I drove towards Blackpool (trust me, that's not the best route to go). Driving towards Blackpool I am going through detail in my head, where are the public toilets. My bladder is bursting. Where can I park and pee. So I decide to drive to the place I know really very well and I know that they have toilets that are open 24 hours. St Annes. So bladder like a football, I drive there. Only to get stuck in traffic due to fracking protesters. I eventually get to St Annes and pee for an entire year. 

I am in the habit of driving miles out of my way for very minor things. It was no shock when I called my wife from St Annes and told her I needed a pee. 

Bloody hell man, just pull up at the side of the road and have a wazz! Like I did in Holkham. Yeah ok, a couple of young kids walking with their parents may have seen me shake my nob dry, but what doesn't mentally scar them will make them stronger!