Robtaylor200 Posted June 5, 2023 Share Posted June 5, 2023 I met my wife in a singles bar. Liar said she was going to bingo 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted June 6, 2023 Moderator Share Posted June 6, 2023 19 hours ago, Robtaylor200 said: I met my wife in a singles bar. Liar said she was going to bingo I bet that moved the goalposts in the relationship. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
il_serpente Posted June 7, 2023 VT Supporter Share Posted June 7, 2023 I went to the doctor and he told me I need to stop masturbating. When I asked him why he said, “Because I’m trying to give you an examination.” 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
il_serpente Posted June 7, 2023 VT Supporter Share Posted June 7, 2023 A termite walks into a bar and asks, “Is the bar tender here?” A Roman walks into a bar, holds up 2 fingers and says, “Five beers, please.” 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
il_serpente Posted June 7, 2023 VT Supporter Share Posted June 7, 2023 Yesterday I couldn’t figure out if someone was waving at me or at a person behind me. In other words, I lost my job as a lifeguard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted June 7, 2023 VT Supporter Share Posted June 7, 2023 (edited) 8 hours ago, il_serpente said: A Roman walks into a bar, holds up 2 fingers and says, “Five beers, please.” James Bond walks into a Roman bar and asks for a Martino The barman says "Don't you mean Martini?" Bond replies "If I'd wanted a double I'd have asked for it" Edited June 7, 2023 by Stevo985 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted June 8, 2023 Share Posted June 8, 2023 (edited) When I first met my wife. I looked into her eyes and I felt dizzy, felt like I was floating, I felt like I had no cares.in the world. I thought shit I have the wrong drink Edited June 9, 2023 by Robtaylor200 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Mark Albrighton Posted June 9, 2023 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted June 9, 2023 Stolen from an old Warner Brothers cartoon. Man takes his dog to a talent agent claiming it can talk. To demonstrate, the man asks the dog what goes on top of a house. “Roooofff!” answers the dog. “See? He said ‘roof’!” says the man. Expecting more than a standard dog ruff, the talent agent is unimpressed. Undeterred, the man asks the dog a second question, “What does sandpaper feel like?” “Roooughhh!” answers the dog. “That’s right - rough!” the man replies. The talent agent continues to grow weary of the act. The man asks a third question, “Can you name me a famous baseball player?” “Ruuuutthhh!” answers the dog. Desperately the man says “Yes, Babe Ruth was a famous baseball player!!” By now the talent agent has had enough and tells the man and his dog to get out of his office. Dejected and now outside, the man looks down at his dog. His dog looks back at him and says “I should have said ‘Joe DiMaggio’ for that last one, shouldn’t I? 4 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colhint Posted June 10, 2023 Share Posted June 10, 2023 I think I'm a heroin addict I want to have sex with women who have saved people's lives 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Designer1 Posted June 11, 2023 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted June 11, 2023 Recent studies have shown that 67% of women have used vibrators. The other 33% have brand new ones. 2 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted June 18, 2023 Share Posted June 18, 2023 Teacher.talking to class What did you do the weekend Johnny Got some pigeons and shoved bangers up their arse Rectum Johnny Rectum Wrecked em, it blew the funking heads off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choffer Posted June 22, 2023 VT Supporter Share Posted June 22, 2023 What the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas? The black eyed peas will sing us a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted June 23, 2023 Moderator Share Posted June 23, 2023 Billionaires are good people, deep down. 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amsterdam_Neil_D Posted July 7, 2023 Share Posted July 7, 2023 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rds1983 Posted July 8, 2023 VT Supporter Share Posted July 8, 2023 I was going to write a joke about a railway, but I lost my train of thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rds1983 Posted July 8, 2023 VT Supporter Share Posted July 8, 2023 My last home only had 4 foot high ceilings, I couldn't stand living there. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted July 15, 2023 Share Posted July 15, 2023 Jokes anybody ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colhint Posted July 20, 2023 Share Posted July 20, 2023 Why did God invent orgasms So women can moan even when they're happy. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theboyangel Posted July 21, 2023 Share Posted July 21, 2023 My wife went to see a deaf gynaecologist - luckily he was good at lip reading 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidcow Posted July 21, 2023 VT Supporter Share Posted July 21, 2023 A lot of people think The Diddy Men came from Knotty Ash but apparently they came from dodgy Hash. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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