Rds1983 Posted March 23, 2023 VT Supporter Share Posted March 23, 2023 23 minutes ago, ChristchurchVillan said: Think it's normally a scarecrow for that one. Normally a farmer isn't it? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted March 23, 2023 Moderator Share Posted March 23, 2023 1 hour ago, ChristchurchVillan said: Think it's normally a scarecrow for that one. 1 hour ago, Rds1983 said: Normally a farmer isn't it? No no. A rabbit can't be a scarecrow or a farmer. I don't know what you're talking about. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Rds1983 Posted March 23, 2023 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted March 23, 2023 13 minutes ago, BOF said: No no. A rabbit can't be a scarecrow or a farmer. I don't know what you're talking about. 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lichfield Dean Posted March 23, 2023 VT Supporter Share Posted March 23, 2023 Write a joke about a rabbit, a farmer and a scarecrow in a field Sure, here's a joke for you: One day, a rabbit was hopping through a field when he saw a farmer putting up a new scarecrow. The rabbit hopped over and asked, "Excuse me, Mr. Farmer, what's the point of that scarecrow?" The farmer replied, "Well, you see, rabbits like you are always eating up my crops, and I need to scare you away so I can grow them." The rabbit thought for a moment and then said, "I don't think that's going to work. That scarecrow doesn't look very scary to me." The farmer chuckled and replied, "You're right, it's not very scary. But it doesn't have to be. It just has to make you think there's someone watching." The rabbit thought about it for a moment and then said, "Oh, I get it. It's like the rabbit version of a security camera!" The farmer laughed and said, "Exactly! You're a smart little rabbit. Maybe I should hire you to guard my fields instead of the scarecrow." The rabbit grinned and said, "Sure, but I'm going to need a carrot for every hour I work." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blandy Posted March 24, 2023 Moderator Share Posted March 24, 2023 And then the farmer shot the rabbit with his shotgun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted March 30, 2023 Share Posted March 30, 2023 My mate David was a victim of ID theft. Now we just call him Dav. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted March 30, 2023 Share Posted March 30, 2023 I was in the supermarket with the wife today when completely out of the blue she said "You know something? You really are a lazy word removed" I was so shocked I nearly fell out the trolley. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted March 30, 2023 Share Posted March 30, 2023 After a woman had given birth their son, the midwife smiled at the father and said "Do you have a name?" He said "Yes, it's Brian"" "Brian is a lovely name" she replied. He said "Thanks, what do you think we should call the baby?" 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted March 30, 2023 Share Posted March 30, 2023 1 minute ago, rjw63 said: After a woman had given birth their son, the midwife smiled at the father and said "Do you have a name?" He said "Yes, it's Brian"" "Brian is a lovely name" she replied. He said "Thanks, what do you think we should call the baby?" That’s reminds me of a joke in Only Fools and Horses when Derek’s wife gives birth and he tells his brother in the corridor. Rodney: What is it? Derek: A baby! Rodney: but what about the sex? Derek: For gods sake Rodney, give her a chance, she’s only just given birth. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post leemond2008 Posted March 30, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted March 30, 2023 27 minutes ago, Genie said: That’s reminds me of a joke in Only Fools and Horses when Derek’s wife gives birth and he tells his brother in the corridor. Rodney: What is it? Derek: A baby! Rodney: but what about the sex? Derek: For gods sake Rodney, give her a chance, she’s only just given birth. Mike - What are they going to call the baby then Trig? Trigger - if its a girl they are going to call it Sigourney after an actress Mike - and what if its a boy? Trigger - if its a boy, they are going to name it Rodney.....after Dave 1 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lichfield Dean Posted March 30, 2023 VT Supporter Share Posted March 30, 2023 7 minutes ago, leemond2008 said: Mike - What are they going to call the baby then Trig? Trigger - if its a girl they are going to call it Sigourney after an actress Mike - and what if its a boy? Trigger - if its a boy, they are going to name it Rodney.....after Dave That was a classic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJ Posted March 30, 2023 Share Posted March 30, 2023 A piece of string goes to a bar one night. After a few hours, he starts getting a bit messy and starts playing up. Security then kicks him out of the pub. Feeling a bit dejected that his night has ended too early, he goes home, ties a knot in the top bit of his body, then starts to brush above it quite vigourously until it is all fluffy, then heads back down to the pub. The bouncer spots him and yells out " Oi! Aren't you that piece of string we kicked out an hour ago?" " No. I am afraid not." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidcow Posted March 30, 2023 VT Supporter Share Posted March 30, 2023 2 hours ago, AJ said: A piece of string goes to a bar one night. After a few hours, he starts getting a bit messy and starts playing up. Security then kicks him out of the pub. Feeling a bit dejected that his night has ended too early, he goes home, ties a knot in the top bit of his body, then starts to brush above it quite vigourously until it is all fluffy, then heads back down to the pub. The bouncer spots him and yells out " Oi! Aren't you that piece of string we kicked out an hour ago?" " No. I am afraid not." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post mjmooney Posted April 3, 2023 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted April 3, 2023 4 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted April 6, 2023 Share Posted April 6, 2023 On 03/04/2023 at 15:45, mjmooney said: I don't get it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidcow Posted April 6, 2023 VT Supporter Share Posted April 6, 2023 5 hours ago, Robtaylor200 said: I don't get it I think it's Haiku. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post mjmooney Posted April 11, 2023 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted April 11, 2023 I accidentally drank an invisibility potion. I went to the ER, and took 5 hours to be seen. I should have gone to the ICU. 1 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anthony Posted April 11, 2023 VT Supporter Share Posted April 11, 2023 31 minutes ago, mjmooney said: I accidentally drank an invisibility potion. I went to the ER, and took 5 hours to be seen. I should have gone to the ICU. Absolutely awful Mike, on many levels. keep it up. 1 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted April 15, 2023 Share Posted April 15, 2023 (edited) It took me a couple of minutes Edited April 15, 2023 by Robtaylor200 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post choffer Posted April 25, 2023 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted April 25, 2023 “I won’t back down” - Tom Petty “I may readjust my stance if you have a reasonable argument” - Tom Reasonable 3 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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