useless Posted February 14, 2016 Share Posted February 14, 2016 Someone wrote a letter to some deers. It was called 'Dear Deers'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted February 14, 2016 Share Posted February 14, 2016 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seat68 Posted February 15, 2016 Share Posted February 15, 2016 those last two are pretty poor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted February 15, 2016 Share Posted February 15, 2016 makes Puss E Katt look like George Carlin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PussEKatt Posted February 15, 2016 Share Posted February 15, 2016 A man walks into a brothel and pays his money and is ushered into a large room with 3 doors.Above the doors are signs saying.Blonds,brunettes, redheads. He walks into the room marked blonds and he is in another large room with 3 doors that say,small tits,medium tits large tits.He walks into the room marked small tits. He finds himself in another large room with three doors marked,big c***s medium c***s and small c***s.He walks through the door marked big c***s and out onto the street. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ponky Posted February 15, 2016 Share Posted February 15, 2016 Why did the leper fail his driving test? Because he left his foot on the accelerator. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted February 15, 2016 Moderator Share Posted February 15, 2016 Make it stop. You're all dreadful ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted February 15, 2016 Share Posted February 15, 2016 I see I'm not the only one struggling for material since sickopedia went down 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post V01 Posted February 15, 2016 Popular Post Share Posted February 15, 2016 A man goes to join an order of monks. The head Monk says to the man "This is a silent order. You will only be allowed to speak once, every 15 years." The man says "Ok" and so begins his time with the silent order. 15 years pass and the man is sitting in the refectory when the head monk approaches and says to the man "It has been fifteen years. What would you like to say brother?". The man responds, "The porridge could do with a little more sugar." The head monk nods in acknowledgement and walks away. Another 15 years pass and the head monk finds the man in the dormitory and says "Brother, it has been another 15 years. What is it that you wish to say?". "The bed sheets are a bit thin." Replies the man. Again the head monk nods in acknowledgement. Yet another 15 years pass and the head monk sees the man and asks "15 years have passed. Have you anything to say?". "Well actually I've been thinking about it and I'm leaving the order. It's not really for me." says the man. "Yes, yes" sighs the head monk "I think that's for the best. You've done nothing but **** complain since you got here." 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PussEKatt Posted February 16, 2016 Share Posted February 16, 2016 A tour coach of deaf and dumb people breaks down in this little Australian outback town.The town only has a garage, a pub and a few houses.The driver goes into the pub and asks the bartender if he can look after these people while he gets the coach repaired at the garage. The bartender says he is not too keen on the idear as he knows nothing about deaf and dumb people. The coach driver replies " dont worry, I have told them, if they want VB they will give the V sign and if they want Swan gold they will flap their arms" The bartender agrees to look after them while the coach is getting repaired. Hours later the coach driver returns with the coach and asks the bartender how did it go ? The bartender says.It went great, some of them came up to me and showed the V sign and I gave them VB,others flapper their arms and I gave them Swan gold but there is a group at the end of the bar with their mouths open and moving their heads from side to side.What do they want ? Coach driver: Its ok, they are singing.. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted February 16, 2016 Moderator Share Posted February 16, 2016 Aaaand straight to hell. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post villa4europe Posted February 21, 2016 Popular Post Share Posted February 21, 2016 My missus said she's fed up of me thinking I'm a detective and we should split ip I said I agree we can cover more ground that way 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted February 22, 2016 Share Posted February 22, 2016 The guy that invented predictive text has died. His funfair is next monkey. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choffer Posted March 4, 2016 VT Supporter Share Posted March 4, 2016 A man walks into a bar and says, “Give me a beer before the problems start!” He drinks the beer and then orders another saying, “Give me a beer before the problems start!” The bartender looks confused. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man “When are you going to pay for these beers?” The man answers, “Now the problems start!” 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted March 4, 2016 Moderator Share Posted March 4, 2016 I heard a variation of that. Man arrives home from work, sits down and asks the wife to bring him a beer before it starts. She brings him a beer. He drinks it and asks for another one before it starts. This happens four times and on the fifth request she says "you come home here and sit down expecting me to be your slave thinking I've sat around all day doing nothing. When are you going to get your own damn beers?". "Ah. It's started." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colhint Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 Chatting with some mates, one guy asked me what superpower would I like I said Cold war Russia 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colhint Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 I'm not religious, but I have no problem eith those who are. The one's who annoy me are the M.P,s and celebs who turn out in church just for the big national occasions. Just there for the photo op. Iv'e always thought Christ is for life, not just a dogma Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted March 22, 2016 Moderator Share Posted March 22, 2016 Me: Bob, it's pronounced CHANGING, not a-changin! Bob Dylan: ? Me: Can anyone help Mr. Dylan with this? (David Bowie stands up) Me: NOT YOU! Nicked off of the twitter thing 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post villa4europe Posted March 22, 2016 Popular Post Share Posted March 22, 2016 i was at the gym last night and noticed a hole in my trainer big enough to fit my finger in, apparently shes complained and im now banned 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted March 23, 2016 Moderator Share Posted March 23, 2016 An interesting thought on reddit. "If we could get the Chinese to believe that pulverized IS fighter testicles were an aphrodisiac, we could solve two problems at once". 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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