phily85 Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 "You are what you eat" Which is why I dont like to think of myself as a cannibal Im just an innocent child Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theunderstudy Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 Me and the wife were in the shopping centre earlier, where we rounded a corner to see a gaggle of young girls, all wearing next to nothing, pouring out of hmv. "Phoarr!", I said to the wife, pointing at a gorgeous lass of about twenty. "I bet you'd **** love to have legs like her." She didn't respond, but I could tell she was upset. I could hear the sobs as I wheeled her up the ramp into debenhams. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demitri_C Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 My mate is shagging twins who both like it up the arse. I asked "How do you tell them apart?". That's easy he said.... Sally has massive tits and a shaved fanny, and Dereks got a mustache and big bollocks! brilliant! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leemond2008 Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 Me and the wife were in the shopping centre earlier, where we rounded a corner to see a gaggle of young girls, all wearing next to nothing, pouring out of hmv. "Phoarr!", I said to the wife, pointing at a gorgeous lass of about twenty. "I bet you'd **** love to have legs like her." She didn't respond, but I could tell she was upset. I could hear the sobs as I wheeled her up the ramp into debenhams. I just told this joke to all the birds that sit near me....didnt go down to well at all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kurtsimonw Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 "You are what you eat" Which is why I dont like to think of myself as a cannibal Im just an innocent child Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrackpotForeigner Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 Knock, knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow Interrupting C... Mooooooo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted May 4, 2012 VT Supporter Share Posted May 4, 2012 The chief exec of the FA has just called in Hodgson to remind him: "Don't forget we won't have Wayne for the next two games". RH: "Don't twouble me with **** weather forecasts you pwick", Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amsterdam_Neil_D Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 ^^^took a second or two.... Good one MJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted May 4, 2012 Moderator Share Posted May 4, 2012 Hodgson in racism storm for saying he was the right man for the job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theunderstudy Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 Hodgson in racism storm for saying he was the right man for the job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted May 4, 2012 VT Supporter Share Posted May 4, 2012 I understand the first thing he intends to do is have a look at the squad and rank the the players. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted May 4, 2012 Moderator Share Posted May 4, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irreverentad Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 I understand the first thing he intends to do is have a look at the squad and rank the the players. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 Me and the wife were in the shopping centre earlier, where we rounded a corner to see a gaggle of young girls, all wearing next to nothing, pouring out of hmv. "Phoarr!", I said to the wife, pointing at a gorgeous lass of about twenty. "I bet you'd **** love to have legs like her." She didn't respond, but I could tell she was upset. I could hear the sobs as I wheeled her up the ramp into debenhams. I just told this joke to all the birds that sit near me....didnt go down to well at all Rule number one of comedy: Know your audience Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morkery Posted May 5, 2012 Share Posted May 5, 2012 Me and the wife were in the shopping centre earlier, where we rounded a corner to see a gaggle of young girls, all wearing next to nothing, pouring out of hmv. "Phoarr!", I said to the wife, pointing at a gorgeous lass of about twenty. "I bet you'd **** love to have legs like her." She didn't respond, but I could tell she was upset. I could hear the sobs as I wheeled her up the ramp into debenhams. I just told this joke to all the birds that sit near me....didnt go down to well at all Rule number one of comedy: Know your audience He thought about it and then made the correct decision Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irreverentad Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 I took a girl back to my place last night. After swallowing my cum she jumped up, got dressed and left. I guess she's not used to seeing a guy ejaculate in his own mouth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 I took a girl back to my place last night. After swallowing my cum she jumped up, got dressed and left. I guess she's not used to seeing a guy ejaculate in his own mouth. Not sure if should facebook or not...... :? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiggyrichard Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 I took a girl back to my place last night. After swallowing my cum she jumped up, got dressed and left. I guess she's not used to seeing a guy ejaculate in his own mouth. Not sure if should facebook or not...... :? Do it pussy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 Man, that takes me back to my teenage years listening to a particular episode of Jezza's confessions. Good times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dante_Lockhart Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 I was mugged by two blokes last night. I managed to knock one out - admittedly it was probably not the best time for a wank.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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