PussEKatt Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 God is on the cross and there is a throng of people all around cheering and geering and yelling etc. God: Petet,Peter. Peter: I am comming my lord I am comming. And Peter starts to fight his way through the throng of people, a couple of minutes God calls out again. God: Peter,Peter Peter is halfway through the throng of people and he answers. I am comming my lord I am comming. A few minutes later god calls out again. God: Peter,Peter. Just then Peter breakes through the throng of people.He is cut and bleeding and his clothes are torn and his hair is all messed up, he knels at the bottom of the cross and says. Peter: I am here my lord,what is it. God: Peter, I can see the roof of your house from here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted May 17, 2012 VT Supporter Share Posted May 17, 2012 God is on the cross and there is a throng of people all around cheering and geering and yelling etc. God: Petet,Peter. Peter: I am comming my lord I am comming. And Peter starts to fight his way through the throng of people, a couple of minutes God calls out again. God: Peter,Peter Peter is halfway through the throng of people and he answers. I am comming my lord I am comming. A few minutes later god calls out again. God: Peter,Peter. Just then Peter breakes through the throng of people.He is cut and bleeding and his clothes are torn and his hair is all messed up, he knels at the bottom of the cross and says. Peter: I am here my lord,what is it. God: Peter, I can see the roof of your house from here.Are you kidding? 1960s at least! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
troon_villan Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 *Stereotypical Irish joke alert* Paddy wanted to sell his car, so his mate told him to wind back the mileage and he'd get a better price. When he saw him a few days later he asked how he got on and Paddy said when he finished winding it back it only had 7000 on the clock, so he'd decided to keep it!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted May 17, 2012 Moderator Share Posted May 17, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nigel Posted May 18, 2012 VT Supporter Share Posted May 18, 2012 My missus is a porn star ....she is gonna be furious! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 A few years ago someone told me Donna Summer had died. This time I know it's for real. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted May 21, 2012 VT Supporter Share Posted May 21, 2012 Alex McLeish has been given a job at SKY. Hope he's careful up the ladder, those dishes are heavy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PussEKatt Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 I went into a store to buy camoflarge pants but could"ent find them, Sex is not the answer, sex is the question,yes is the answer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted May 22, 2012 VT Supporter Share Posted May 22, 2012 I went into a store to buy camoflarge pants but could"ent find them, Sex is not the answer, sex is the question,yes is the answer. eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PussEKatt Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 I went into a store to buy camoflarge pants but could"ent find them, Sex is not the answer, sex is the question,yes is the answer. eh? Take 2 aspro and lie down again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irreverentad Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 I swear PussEKatt is that Lithuanian comedian from Britains Got Talent! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 Is he dreadfully unfunny as well then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PussEKatt Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 An Irishman on a quiz show was asked, "which creature in greek mithology was half man and half beast " Answer: Buffalo Bill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Designer1 Posted May 23, 2012 VT Supporter Share Posted May 23, 2012 Please stop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 Three blind mice walk into a bar. They are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from their predicament would be exploitative. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 An Irishman on a quiz show was asked, "which creature in greek mithology was half man and half beast " Answer: Buffalo Bill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted May 23, 2012 VT Supporter Share Posted May 23, 2012 I once read that the jokes you get in crackers are deliberately unfunny. If they were good jokes, then some people might not get them and that would divide the dinner party. But when they're so bad that everyone knows they're bad, the dinner party is united in the usual groans of how terrible the jokes are. So, in conclusion, I believe PussEKatt is merely trying to unite Villa fans in these depressing times that the club is going through with his brand of awful comedy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dante_Lockhart Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 Turns out a female peacock isn't called a peac*nt.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LondonLax Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 Chelsea fans have resisted the overtures of Manchester City and take up a one year extension with the club. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AshVilla Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 Rumours that the man who invented the remote control has died are nothing more than a hoax he has merely gone to the other side Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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