Anthony Posted February 12, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted February 12, 2014 Has anyone in the world ever actually read an instruction manual ? the mere acknowledgement of them , like stopping and asking for directions is a slight on ones manliness surely ? Manuals should only be consulted as a last resort. This is why I'm not bothering to write one for my time machine. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 Has anyone in the world ever actually read an instruction manual ? the mere acknowledgement of them , like stopping and asking for directions is a slight on ones manliness surely ? Manuals should only be consulted as a last resort. This is why I'm not bothering to write one for my time machine. When I worked in IT I wouldn't start my working day until I'd read the Daily Dilbert Haven't checked the website for years , must do that tomorrow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post leemond2008 Posted February 12, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted February 12, 2014 (edited) people who have kids or people who generally are tollerable towards kids **** hell some bint has come back off maternity leave and I swear to god the whole **** office is dominated with talk of babies. That isn't my main rant but its **** annoying anyway I my main rant is people who chat absolute shite about films and books, this bird that has just come back is talking to everyone about 'True Blood' and everyone is **** hooked on the coversation and one of the other brainless cum buckets has just said 'oohhh Amy you know so much about films and books your a proper geek' to which she replied 'Oh I know I'll watch or read anything' At this I looked up and said 'so what's your favourite story by Edgar Allen Poe' she looked at me with a blank look on her face and said 'I don't know who he is...I ONLY READ BOOKS ABOUT VAMPIRES' Well somehow I managed to restrain myself and didn't leap up onto the desk and volley her in her jaw although it was rather tempting then she proceded to talk about how Dallas Buyers Club was '**** terrible' and how she will stick to watching True Blood from now on Now I don't want to come across all snobby here but surely the girl must have recieved a frontal lobe lobotamy at some point in her **** existence on this planet, I am sure that the only reason she is alive is to produce baby after baby and to irritate the **** out of me, **** clearing in the woods, worst thing is that she is sitting directly opposite me all **** day, I'm going to actually have to get my head down and do some work just to avoid listening to her inane ramblings, I would prefer to listen to Paul Lambert reading war and peace than putting up with the shit I have had to endure already this morning and I've only been in work for 1/2 hour Edited February 12, 2014 by leemond2008 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leemond2008 Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 (edited) Also the way that these **** computers at work wont allow me to post in normal sized font on this forum oh it **** works on the little post that I make but the **** essay I typed out comes out tiny just about sums the start of my day up Edited February 12, 2014 by leemond2008 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seat68 Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 I have a kid, she is grown up, she causes me much consternation, that all said I have never felt the need to talk about her all day every day, I never got into that swapping stories thing that fathers get into, more importantly and this is the crux of things that piss you off that shouldnt I do not give a flying **** about other peoples kids, do not talk to me about your child, I do not care about them, I do not want to hear that they are teething, that they keep you awake at night, that their shit smells, nothing. I am vocal about this, but still people inflict tales of their pride and joy upon me. Someone once said to me, kids are like farts, you dont mind your own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted February 12, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted February 12, 2014 I used to sit opposite a woman at work who was obsessed by her kid. She used to spend half the work day doing her kid's school prjects, and then boasting about the good marks HER KID got for that work. It's because you did it for her you mug! Then she said her kid had started taking up the stuff you need to do for the modern pentathlon in the olympics. This was in 2010, and her kid was 11 at the time. She said "Yeah she really wants to be in the olympics, and I'm going to push her and I'm sure she can make it" So I humoured her and said "great, so I'll look out for her in , like, 2020, maybe 2016?" "no!" she said. "She'll make it for 2012 in London!" As far as I know, she didn't compete. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wainy316 Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 It scares me that when you have kids they literally become all you are capable of thinking or talking about. Puts me right off. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post leemond2008 Posted February 12, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted February 12, 2014 Birds that refer to themselves as 'Princess' The **** clearing in the woods of a bird that is now sitting opposite me has just said 'yeah he bought me a 3D TV because...you know..what Princess wants, Princess gets' with a smug grin on her face you are not A **** PRINCESS you are a little trol bitch whore you are 27 years old you are not a 7 year old girl playing make believe grow up and start acting your **** age you cretinous swine. 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFCLaura Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 When sales people try and chat you up. I'm not more likely to buy from you because you insincerely complimented me. I've just come from a meeting where when a guy got my business card he said 'Ahhh 'Laura'... That just proves my theory that everyone called Laura is attractive.' Do one. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Designer1 Posted February 12, 2014 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted February 12, 2014 When sales people try and chat you up. I'm not more likely to buy from you because you insincerely complimented me. I've just come from a meeting where when a guy got my business card he said 'Ahhh 'Laura'... That just proves my theory that everyone called Laura is attractive.' Do one. You should have asked him his name and replied 'Ahhh (insertname)...That proves my theory that everyone called (insertname) is a rocket polisher' 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted February 12, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted February 12, 2014 When sales people try and chat you up. I'm not more likely to buy from you because you insincerely complimented me. I've just come from a meeting where when a guy got my business card he said 'Ahhh 'Laura'... That just proves my theory that everyone called Laura is attractive.' Do one. He probably thinks he's being really charming, when in actual fact it comes across as sexist, patronising shite. I went to get a coffee at work once with a girl I worked with. Guy in front of us was one of the engineers we looked after and as he was leaving he spotted her and said to his mate, so that she could hear and quite deliberately "Oh there's that lovely looking girl, Daljeet. I've been telling my friend here how lovely you are!" It was so pervy, but I bet he thought he was being really nice. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
islingtonclaret Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 When sales people try and chat you up. I'm not more likely to buy from you because you insincerely complimented me. I've just come from a meeting where when a guy got my business card he said 'Ahhh 'Laura'... That just proves my theory that everyone called Laura is attractive.' Do one. That's some serious punch in the face stuff right there. Would have been funnier if he'd have done it on the phone though. "Right. So....you're watching me? Enjoy the restraining order you're about to get" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 It scares me that when you have kids they literally become all you are capable of thinking or talking about. Puts me right off. It's only sad bastards with no life apart from their offspring that do this. I know someone on FB that has one child and it's all she ever goes on about. "Like and share this if you love your son"..."like and share this if your son is the best thing in your life" etc etc. It's because she's married to a rocket polisher who she hates but won't leave because of the kid. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dAVe80 Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 It's a funny one the whole kids thing. Members of my family, and kids of close friends aside, I couldn't give a shit about hearing stories about them / seeing pictures of them etc. Even then I only sometimes feign interest. That said, people who talk about their pets in the same way are even worse! There's a woman who sits near me, and she never shuts up about her bloody dogs. To make matters worse, she talks about them as if they're human. "Oh my dog thinks it's hilarious when such and such happens". No it doesn't it's a ******* dog! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wainy316 Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 I'm not going to obsess over my kid. In fact I am going to severely punish it from the get go by getting it a Villa season ticket. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarewsEyebrowDesigner Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 (edited) Forgetting what you were going to post in this thread the moment you start typing. Edited February 12, 2014 by CarewsEyebrowDesigner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted February 12, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted February 12, 2014 People who "Reply All" to emails when there's absolutely no need 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarewsEyebrowDesigner Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 Oh! I remembered. People who say 'socialising' is their hobby. **** off and die. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frobisher Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 Psychometric tests. I have to complete a verbal reasoning test for an application I have made, and, having done the practice test, I am thoroughly crapping myself. You get 60 seconds per question, which does not seem like nearly enough considering the huge paragraph of gibberish you have to read through to glean the answer. My results came back ok but not good enough, I fear. Anybody have any experience of taking this sort of test? Any advice? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted February 12, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted February 12, 2014 If it's hard, it's hard for everyone. So keep calm and make sure you answer everything. Don't rush. And don't give up halfway through because it's tough. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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