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Irreverentad's Relationship Advice Thread


irreverentad

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3 minutes ago, Rugeley Villa said:

I'm not going to lie. My kids have seen and heard some bad arguments. They have also seen dad off his face. On the rare occasion I've also not come home from the pub, but once I had my second child that stopped, or should I say 99% stopped. I've already pointed out it's not often I take part in the little things  which I suppose are the important things. I've got plenty of plus sides to me, but I suppose they count for nothing if I'm not doing the other half.  I always give them plenty of love, and I'm always there to help with the chores. I'll admit there is room for massive improvement. Being a dad came naturally to me, it honestly did, but I think I've struggled to maybe let go of that other side of me. It does make me angry, and guilty, but I am trying to be a better dad. Just saying that last sentence makes me ashamed, because I shouldn't have to try, it should just happen. Anyway...

One thing I love about you Ruge is that you face your flaws and you're the first to put your hands up and admit them. I think that's quite admirable anyway. It's the first step to fixing any problem.

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15 minutes ago, Paddywhack said:

One thing I love about you Ruge is that you face your flaws and you're the first to put your hands up and admit them. I think that's quite admirable anyway. It's the first step to fixing any problem.

Yea. As soon as he stops being an absolute train wreck of a man, he might just come good :)

Peace and love, peace and love - as Ringo would say at the end of every tweet. 

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Tbh Ruge, and I’m saying his based solely on only what you have fed us over the years. Would splitting up really be a bad thing? I’m sure there are things that we aren’t privy to but from what you have said, it’s clear you aren’t suited for each other. Your kids will still be fine, split parents can still be positive parents and much better than staying together and creating a negative environment between yourselves for the kids. 

Harsh I know but it is an option and a potential reality for you in the near future. Might be time to start preparing for such an eventuality. I wish life was more rosy and Hollywood-esque but it isn’t sometimes. 

Just playing devils advocat a little. You need to do what’s best for the kids.

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2 hours ago, Paddywhack said:

One thing I love about you Ruge is that you face your flaws and you're the first to put your hands up and admit them. I think that's quite admirable anyway. It's the first step to fixing any problem.

There comes a point though where I can't keep putting my hands up, and admitting my flaws. I need to start sorting it, and fixing it. 

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1 hour ago, Ingram85 said:

Tbh Ruge, and I’m saying his based solely on only what you have fed us over the years. Would splitting up really be a bad thing? I’m sure there are things that we aren’t privy to but from what you have said, it’s clear you aren’t suited for each other. Your kids will still be fine, split parents can still be positive parents and much better than staying together and creating a negative environment between yourselves for the kids. 

Harsh I know but it is an option and a potential reality for you in the near future. Might be time to start preparing for such an eventuality. I wish life was more rosy and Hollywood-esque but it isn’t sometimes. 

Just playing devils advocat a little. You need to do what’s best for the kids.

I see exactly where you're coming from, and we've both thought what you are saying. I've had so many last chances, but I can tell you now I'm running out of them. As I've said, maybe it's the breaking off which we can't do. We could very well be happier in the long run, who knows. I just need to put all my effort into it this time, and if it ain't enough, then at least I can say we tried. 

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  • 4 weeks later...

This is probably a dumb question, but whatever.

Where do people meet people of the opposite sex?

I feel like my only place is either on shit like Tinder (which I hate) or at work (and I'm not just going to go up to random girls that I have my eye on, it's weird)

So where do you meet people? I haven't met a new person who I'm interested in, that wasn't on Tinder in months.

I think it's due to my hate for going up to random people. The thought just makes me cringe.

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20 minutes ago, StefanAVFC said:

This is probably a dumb question, but whatever.

Where do people meet people of the opposite sex?

I feel like my only place is either on shit like Tinder (which I hate) or at work (and I'm not just going to go up to random girls that I have my eye on, it's weird)

So where do you meet people? I haven't met a new person who I'm interested in, that wasn't on Tinder in months.

I think it's due to my hate for going up to random people. The thought just makes me cringe.

Circles of friends usually innit. Like a Venn Diagram, you have overlapping circles of friends.

The only problem you have is that you have no friends and you are really ugly.  I preferred the fat stefan, at least he could pull off a Hawaiian shirt.  Thin Stefan would just look like a jerk in a Hawaiian shirt.  

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2 hours ago, StefanAVFC said:

This is probably a dumb question, but whatever.

Where do people meet people of the opposite sex?

I feel like my only place is either on shit like Tinder (which I hate) or at work (and I'm not just going to go up to random girls that I have my eye on, it's weird)

So where do you meet people? I haven't met a new person who I'm interested in, that wasn't on Tinder in months.

I think it's due to my hate for going up to random people. The thought just makes me cringe.

As much as numbnuts being a loveable rogue he's right about friends.

Outside of that numbnuts' suggestion though and especially if you're travelling/have moved etc then as boring as it sounds hobbys, passtimes, clubs etc

A friend of ours in London complained a few years ago about the 'type' of people she ended up getting involved with. Exceptions to the rule always exist of course but looking in the right places is a massive start. So not upmarket bars in 'the city' for Mr caring and compassion right?

People's foibles about compatability (I knew a girl once who dumped someone because of what shoes they wore! In actual adult life!) are wide and varied. But you know, if you like running - join a running club. If you like bridge - join a bridge club. If you like music go to gigs/start a band etc. Be yourself, do the things you like doing and make it somewhere where you're likely to meet people. Not going to happen sat around the house (unless you're a baller I suppose!) and if someone you might like actually bothers speaking to you, ask lots of questions. Most people like talking about themselves. Always ask more questions. Even if they don't appear you're bound to run into one of those matchmaker types who'll have "the perfect date for you" at some point :thumb:

 

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34 minutes ago, StefanAVFC said:

My hobbies are so blokey though! I play football, cycle and go out with my mates. You're right though, I need a new, female centric hobby :D

See things like that cycling though.

Ultimately if you're looking for something to go somewhere they might be better suited to going off to enduro events etc if they have even a vague interest or at least not get too shirty if you want to take a few hours a week to cycle up a hill and back. Not that you'll necessarily take things that seriously but compatibility wise and having common interests as an ice-breaker to conversations is never a bad thing.

Something about buying a ticket.

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6 minutes ago, VILLAMARV said:

My cousin's wedding a few years ago would back this up :thumb:

Not least because that's how they actually met but some of the guests were fairly scorchio to be fair also.

Not my cup of tea though. far too sporty and athletic n that. And obsessed with running in an eating disorder kinda way ya know :D

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