Jump to content

Irreverentad's Relationship Advice Thread


irreverentad

Recommended Posts

I'm actually dating someone now and it got serious fast I reckon and it gave me no time to think it it's what I want. 

My concern is getting in too deep and hurting her now. 

Urgh. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, StefanAVFC said:

I'm actually dating someone now and it got serious fast I reckon and it gave me no time to think it it's what I want. 

My concern is getting in too deep and hurting her now. 

Urgh. 

Use some KY or baby oil, be respectful of her boundaries and try to enjoy the experience. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, StefanAVFC said:

I'm actually dating someone now and it got serious fast I reckon and it gave me no time to think it it's what I want. 

My concern is getting in too deep and hurting her now. 

Urgh. 

Just keep the lines of communication honest and open with her.

Don't play mind games with her feelings.

Concern yourself with outcomes you want rather than ones you don't.

Where the mind goes, energy flows.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, StefanAVFC said:

I'm actually dating someone now and it got serious fast I reckon and it gave me no time to think it it's what I want. 

My concern is getting in too deep and hurting her now. 

Urgh. 

In all seriousness, don't overthink it or try to second guess. You might talk yourself out of something good, equally if you know that you're not ready then there's no point wasting your own time, let alone hers. 

I tend to think you either know or you don't, deep down. I think you would know how you felt before the relationship, and I think these sorts of doubts can be overthinking. 

If you're trying to convince yourself to not do something then perhaps you didn't want it in the first instance?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 minutes ago, A'Villan said:

Just keep the lines of communication honest and open with her.

Don't play mind games with her feelings.

Concern yourself with outcomes you want rather than ones you don't.

Where the mind goes, energy flows.

It's great advice, but If he's as big as he says,  I'm not sure that's going to help her avoid a bruised cervix (or her esophagus if she's a keeper) 

  • Like 1
  • Haha 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, PompeyVillan said:

If you're trying to convince yourself to not do something then perhaps you didn't want it in the first instance?

Not necessarily. I think you're right about trusting intuition though.

Joe Dispenza (scientist) says that most people spend 70% of their lives living in survival mode or stress, anticipating the worst case scenario based on a past experience, and emotionally embracing it with fear, conditioning their body in to a state of fear. It happens unconsciously and becomes habitual until you address it.

Stefan has made multiple mentions of outcomes he fears, out of the infinite potentials in the quantum field his mind is embracing an unfavourable outcome and preparing him for it.

Where the mind goes, energy flows.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...

Hate being single. Loved it for years, and lived the single mans life to its fullest, but then met the love of my life.Yeah that's right, the love of my life who gave me 3 beautiful kids, but I continued to put booze and cocaine before her. Something had to happen, something had to give, and it certainly did. Had it coming, i suppose. We are getting on, and I'm being grown up about things for once. I suppose you sometimes don't realise what you have until it's gone. Can't see a way back, things are just too distant, and something has changed in her. Not that I'm begging, or asking her to take me back, because I wouldn't do that to her. Not comfortable at my mums at all. I started running last week again. Up at 5.30 every morning before work  for a 20 minute jog just to try and make myself feel better, and give her some hope that I will change. Literally don't want to drink ever again, but I suppose I would feel like that now. She seems happier without me, and I'm just putting on a front pretending I'm strong enough to handle what I've done to cause all this pain. Maybe I am strong enough, who knows. A lot of pain coming both our way before we both get over it. Who knows, one day she might take a chance on me, I usually come out of things smelling of roses, but my luck has to run out one day, and there are only so many chances and warnings you get. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em. Determined to change my ways, even if only for myself, which I suppose is the most important thing. A happy you, is a good you for everyone. 

Edited by Rugeley Villa
  • Like 1
  • Sad 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 10/09/2018 at 07:19, Rugeley Villa said:

Hate being single. Loved it for years, and lived the single mans life to its fullest, but then met the love of my life.Yeah that's right, the love of my life who gave me 3 beautiful kids, but I continued to put booze and cocaine before her. Something had to happen, something had to give, and it certainly did. Had it coming, i suppose. We are getting on, and I'm being grown up about things for once. I suppose you sometimes don't realise what you have until it's gone. Can't see a way back, things are just too distant, and something has changed in her. Not that I'm begging, or asking her to take me back, because I wouldn't do that to her. Not comfortable at my mums at all. I started running last week again. Up at 5.30 every morning before work  for a 20 minute jog just to try and make myself feel better, and give her some hope that I will change. Literally don't want to drink ever again, but I suppose I would feel like that now. She seems happier without me, and I'm just putting on a front pretending I'm strong enough to handle what I've done to cause all this pain. Maybe I am strong enough, who knows. A lot of pain coming both our way before we both get over it. Who knows, one day she might take a chance on me, I usually come out of things smelling of roses, but my luck has to run out one day, and there are only so many chances and warnings you get. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em. Determined to change my ways, even if only for myself, which I suppose is the most important thing. A happy you, is a good you for everyone. 

Don't know you at all Rugeley but just want to say don't beat yourself up over what's done and try and remember that whilst you want to give her something to hope for, you should also be focused on what you hope for from here. That will give you direction. In my opinion she will be more attracted by your putting in effort toward your own genuine interests that will actually provide an alternative to grog and rack, than you doing things just to appease things as they are.

You are strong enough. In Lakota Sioux warrior culture strength is, not to be greater than my brother, but to fight my greatest enemy - myself.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

14 minutes ago, A'Villan said:

Don't know you at all Rugeley but just want to say don't beat yourself up over what's done and try and remember that whilst you want to give her something to hope for, you should also be focused on what you hope for from here. That will give you direction. In my opinion she will be more attracted by your putting in effort toward your own genuine interests that will actually provide an alternative to grog and rack, than you doing things just to appease things as they are.

You are strong enough. In Lakota Sioux warrior culture strength is, not to be greater than my brother, but to fight my greatest enemy - myself.

Bang on mate . For once I'm trying to sort myself out for myself, not because of anyone else. We are getting on we'll tbf. If we don't get back together, then hopefully I will be in a better place to handle it. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...
Â