rjw63 Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 2 hours ago, Rugeley Villa said: Well this is where we are at the moment. I'm a month clean of everything this weekend and not only that massive improvements have been made. I'd go as far to say it's the best I've been in 17 years which is when my journey of drink and drugs started. What I have found is that my desire to push sexual boundaries with other people has increased massively. I spoke to my wife this morning and she gets it. When I take coke, it's all about sex with me and I mean dirty sex. We would do things whilst I was high that we would never do sober. Anyway with my complete abstinence of drink and drugs my desire for other people to be involved in our sex life has increased a lot. I know it's just a delusional thought process of withdrawal, and I'm not going to cheat on my wife, it's just a compulsive urge for us both to be a bit more care free. I suppose it's me struggling with everything being "normal". Don't get me wrong I feel great and I'm loving life at the moment, we both are. The kids are much settled too, as they were definitely picking up on things. We are both trying to be more open about things, so I spoke to my wife this morning about my urges. Typical of my wife it turned her on . as I said she totally gets it and understands, but said it's an exciting thought, but that's all it is a thought. I suppose I'm just trying to replace the sex life I had whilst on coke with something extreme like having an open relationship with can be just as destructive as cocaine. I even said the way I am at the moment I could quite happily watch you with another man . It's not just sex, it's gambling too. I'm not spending anymore than I normally do, but I'm getting more of an adrenaline rush from it now I've stopped using. I feel more confident within myself at the moment and so does my wife who has done great in stopping drinking. We are helping each other so much. I'm just yearning for some fresh cream , but I think we both are, or are we? Good news you filthy bastard but I'm puzzled...has staying clean improved your grammar? The above post looks like someone else typed it... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dom_Wren Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 1 hour ago, rjw63 said: Good news you filthy bastard but I'm puzzled...has staying clean improved your grammar? The above post looks like someone else typed it... me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 (edited) 2 hours ago, rjw63 said: Good news you filthy bastard but I'm puzzled...has staying clean improved your grammar? The above post looks like someone else typed it... It must of Im not sniffing grams now, and my grammar has improved. It's a win win. Edited November 8, 2017 by Rugeley Villa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted November 8, 2017 Moderator Share Posted November 8, 2017 2 minutes ago, Rugeley Villa said: It must of Im not sniffing grams now, and my grammar has improved. It's a win win. And on a related note, you can't spell "swinging" without "win" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 3 minutes ago, Rugeley Villa said: It must of Im not sniffing grams now, and my grammar has improved. It's a win win. *Must have*. That's more like the old Ruge 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted November 8, 2017 VT Supporter Share Posted November 8, 2017 (edited) 4 minutes ago, rjw63 said: *Must have*. That's more like the old Ruge Maybe. Benefit of the doubt. Edited November 8, 2017 by mjmooney 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 You don't know that for sure... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeyp102 Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 11 hours ago, Rugeley Villa said: as I said she totally gets it and understands, but said it's an exciting thought, but that's all it is a thought. I suppose I'm just trying to replace the sex life I had whilst on coke with something extreme like having an open relationship with can be just as destructive as cocaine. I even said the way I am at the moment I could quite happily watch you with another man . It's not just sex, it's gambling too. I'm not spending anymore than I normally do, but I'm getting more of an adrenaline rush from it now I've stopped using. I feel more confident within myself at the moment and so does my wife who has done great in stopping drinking. We are helping each other so much. I'm just yearning for some fresh cream , but I think we both are, or are we? Thanks for sharing as usual Ruge. As discussed previously we have very different views on life, but the bolder part is something I find very odd. I could never watch another man touch the woman I love, think I'd want to smash his head in, and I'm not a violent person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 7 minutes ago, mikeyp102 said: Thanks for sharing as usual Ruge. As discussed previously we have very different views on life, but the bolder part is something I find very odd. I could never watch another man touch the woman I love, think I'd want to smash his head in, and I'm not a violent person. It's not something I've wanted to happen. Infact it's just a fantasy, I mean we all have fantasies don't we. I am a very jealous person, but I think I would get off on the jealousy and even the pain of seeing that happen. When we first got together, the slightest thing would make me sick to the stomach with jealousy. Part of me wants to feel like that again. I don't know, I'm just having weird thoughts at the moment. I would get off on seeing my wife with another man, but it would also hurt too. I think my wife would get off on seeing me with another woman, but it would also make her jealous and hurt her too. A fantasy is just that a "fantasy" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 7 hours ago, mjmooney said: Maybe. Benefit of the doubt. I'm not going to lie, it was me being thick again 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan_of_oz Posted November 9, 2017 VT Supporter Share Posted November 9, 2017 So with 11 days to go until wedding...... I still haven't written my vows or my speech. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Rodders Posted November 9, 2017 Popular Post Share Posted November 9, 2017 2 minutes ago, Villan_of_oz said: So with 11 days to go until wedding...... I still haven't written my vows or my speech. "I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. " There you go. Maybe some alterations, although I would still keep the 71 degrees bit as that will cause some fascinating concern amongst the guests. 3 2 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 3 minutes ago, Villan_of_oz said: So with 11 days to go until wedding...... I still haven't written my vows or my speech. Still plenty of time to get something down. It won't be as good now as it would have been if you'd started a month ago, and everyone will probably hate you and laugh at you because you'll look and sound like you don't know what you're doing, which will obviously make your wife hate you on your wedding day.. But you got this man! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan_of_oz Posted November 9, 2017 VT Supporter Share Posted November 9, 2017 2 minutes ago, lapal_fan said: Still plenty of time to get something down. It won't be as good now as it would have been if you'd started a month ago, and everyone will probably hate you and laugh at you because you'll look and sound like you don't know what you're doing, which will obviously make your wife hate you on your wedding day.. But you got this man! She is a keeper, today she offered to help me write the speech except for the bit about her. I have to write that bit myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demitri_C Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 Does she like Disney? If so you could end the speech with you are my "happily ever after" Excuse me while i Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted November 9, 2017 VT Supporter Share Posted November 9, 2017 Just wing it on the day. That's what I'd do. Did do, in fact. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dom_Wren Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 1 hour ago, mjmooney said: Just wing it on the day. That's what I'd do. Did do, in fact. Ditto! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 Yep, thirded. Real men don't plan. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villarule123 Posted November 9, 2017 VT Supporter Share Posted November 9, 2017 2 hours ago, Villan_of_oz said: So with 11 days to go until wedding...... I still haven't written my vows or my speech. I was writing mine down whilst sunbathing on a deck chair on the day of the wedding, you have nothing to worry about. I still said it without the paper. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodders Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 (edited) ... Edited November 10, 2017 by Rodders Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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