Jump to content

Irreverentad's Relationship Advice Thread


irreverentad

Recommended Posts

I don't know how other introverts make proper relationships work.

I've been seeing this woman since March, and she's absolutely fantastic. We'd been spending 3-4 nights a week together, which was pretty much every night we could with her working in the NHS. Anyway, she broke her elbow last week, so she's been staying with me, and she's not able to work, so she's there all of the time, and it's driving me **** mental. I just need time to do my own thing, especially after work.

I'm not sure I could ever live with someone long term. I drove the long way home last night just so I had some time to myself to think.

 

Edited by Davkaus
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 minutes ago, Davkaus said:

I don't know how other introverts make proper relationships work.

I've been seeing this woman since March, and she's absolutely fantastic. We'd been spending 3-4 nights a week together, which was pretty much every night we could with her working in the NHS. Anyway, she broke her elbow last week, so she's been staying with me, and she's not able to work, so she's there all of the time, and it's driving me **** mental. I just need time to do my own thing, especially after work.

I'm not sure I could ever live with someone long term. I drove the long way home last night just so I had some time to myself to think.

 

Maybe that's because it's a fairly new relationship still and so being with each other is still a bit of an 'effort' for the want of a better word. As in, it'd be weird that early in to a relationship to start wandering off to separate rooms to watch different TVs or whatever.

Evenings can go by in our house where me and Mrs P barely say a word to each other, not because we've fallen out but we're just off doing our own thing.

That sounds terrible reading that back :mellow:

Edited by Paddywhack
  • Like 2
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 minutes ago, Davkaus said:

I don't know how other introverts make proper relationships work.

I've been seeing this woman since March, and she's absolutely fantastic. We'd been spending 3-4 nights a week together, which was pretty much every night we could with her working in the NHS. Anyway, she broke her elbow last week, so she's been staying with me, and she's not able to work, so she's there all of the time, and it's driving me **** mental. I just need time to do my own thing, especially after work.

I'm not sure I could ever live with someone long term. I drove the long way home last night just so I had some time to myself to think.

 

I have this issue.

I love my own company. So living with someone isn't always ideal.

I just had to tell my other half. Sometimes after work I just can't be bothered to have a conversation or do stuff together. I just want to sit there doing nothing.

I think she was offended at first, but she gets it now.

 

So basically you should probably tell her. Explain it's nothing to do with her, you're just a loner sometimes.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm in the fortunate position where I finished work at 3/3.30pm, and the girl will get in at about 5.30pm, so I have some gaming time and/or watching stuff she doesnt like time. When she gets in, one of the two of us will start dinner. We both hate the other trying to interupt and butt in when we're cooking, so that's another hour or so alone, watching crap on the ipad or whatever at the same time. Then after eating dinner, it's probably getting on for 8pm by the time we're both settled and sitting down together. By that time we're both very much ready to have conversations with each other, or watch 'our' TV shows/films, etc. It's like this most weekdays, and I'm so thankful for it.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

53 minutes ago, Stevo985 said:

I have this issue.

I love my own company. So living with someone isn't always ideal.

I just had to tell my other half. Sometimes after work I just can't be bothered to have a conversation or do stuff together. I just want to sit there doing nothing.

I think she was offended at first, but she gets it now.

 

So basically you should probably tell her. Explain it's nothing to do with her, you're just a loner sometimes.

Yep as my relationship has ramped up to moving in together next month, I worry about this and the whole 'getting offended' thing too.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

32 minutes ago, hogso said:

I'm in the fortunate position where I finished work at 3/3.30pm, and the girl will get in at about 5.30pm, so I have some gaming time and/or watching stuff she doesnt like time. 

I'm the opposite. OH gets in at 4:30 and I'm usually there around 6. So apart from Friday she's always there when I'm there.

Which obviously is absolutely fine most of the time. I love her company. But you get those odd times when I just want to be on my own. Or those times where I'll get in and she's been there for 2 hours already so she's dying to go to the supermarket or the gym or whatever and I just want to do **** all for 10 minutes at least!

 

She does go to bed well early though, so I usually get an hour to myself at like 9pm

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

At least it's not just me!

I think normally, it'd be fine, I'd get at least a couple of nights completely to myself because she works evenings/nights, but she's stuck in, bored, so as soon as I get home she's like a puppy that's been dying for attention all day :P 

 

 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well my girlfriend is moving in with me this weekend so we will see how it goes. I dated her originally in Dublin in 2009 and we have been friends(etc ;)) since up till 2 years ago. While we weren't together people would tell us we would get back together which i think both of us believed. I would be pretty sure we will get married in a couple of years.

Anyway back on topic of her moving in, obviously it will be abit weird but im not too worried about those situations mentioned, we are already quite happy to be separate and do our own things. We will be working from home together 1 day a week which could cause issue, i also work from home another 2 days (3 days total) so will have my space. The thing i am most worried about is actually our sleeping schedules. Because we both train alot and because of how often i work from home, we will both wake up at varying times every day. I am sure ill get used to it, but might be irritating.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

45 minutes ago, zak said:

Well my girlfriend is moving in with me this weekend so we will see how it goes. I dated her originally in Dublin in 2009 and we have been friends(etc ;)) since up till 2 years ago. While we weren't together people would tell us we would get back together which i think both of us believed. I would be pretty sure we will get married in a couple of years.

Anyway back on topic of her moving in, obviously it will be abit weird but im not too worried about those situations mentioned, we are already quite happy to be separate and do our own things. We will be working from home together 1 day a week which could cause issue, i also work from home another 2 days (3 days total) so will have my space. The thing i am most worried about is actually our sleeping schedules. Because we both train alot and because of how often i work from home, we will both wake up at varying times every day. I am sure ill get used to it, but might be irritating.

good luck buddy hope it works out. I am in a similar situation but we hope to move in together towards the end of the year. have to say my current GF is amazing its been 8 months now. 

Edited by Demitri_C
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Believe me guys, all these minor annoyances, these little irritations etc... When you are on your own again you will miss them, trust me. I don't miss the downsides obviously and have moved on but the little character traits of all a few of my ex's that annoyed me at the time I now think of as endearing and miss them a bit.

 

Edited by Ingram85
Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, Ingram85 said:

the little character traits of all a few of my ex's that annoyed me at the time I know think of as endearing and miss them a bit.

Funny how quickly you forget this though when you are with someone new and there's quickly so many things to be annoyed about.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, Stevo985 said:

I have this issue.

I love my own company. So living with someone isn't always ideal.

I just had to tell my other half. Sometimes after work I just can't be bothered to have a conversation or do stuff together. I just want to sit there doing nothing.

I think she was offended at first, but she gets it now.

 

So basically you should probably tell her. Explain it's nothing to do with her, you're just a loner sometimes.

I'm the same. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, Davkaus said:

I don't know how other introverts make proper relationships work.

I've been seeing this woman since March, and she's absolutely fantastic. We'd been spending 3-4 nights a week together, which was pretty much every night we could with her working in the NHS. Anyway, she broke her elbow last week, so she's been staying with me, and she's not able to work, so she's there all of the time, and it's driving me **** mental. I just need time to do my own thing, especially after work.

I'm not sure I could ever live with someone long term. I drove the long way home last night just so I had some time to myself to think.

 

Yup I had this issues when I moved in with my GF. Previously I had lived on my own for about 8 years.  So I got very used to getting home from work and maybe just playing some games  or browsing the web and not really saying much to anyone.  When we moved in my gf kept asking me if something was wrong when I behaved like this, but just talking to her about it made her understand, and now she will just watch TV in a different room or read a book or something if I just want some time to myself.

Always try and make the effort to walk the dog and have dinner together and just ask how each others days were and that usual crap, seems to be enough.

It does get easier, when you first start dating someone every time you meet it's "to spend time together"....

When you live together it has a different feel and isn't so.... intense I guess.

Edited by PieFacE
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 hours ago, Davkaus said:

I don't know how other introverts make proper relationships work.

I've been seeing this woman since March, and she's absolutely fantastic. We'd been spending 3-4 nights a week together, which was pretty much every night we could with her working in the NHS. Anyway, she broke her elbow last week, so she's been staying with me, and she's not able to work, so she's there all of the time, and it's driving me **** mental. I just need time to do my own thing, especially after work.

I'm not sure I could ever live with someone long term. I drove the long way home last night just so I had some time to myself to think.

 

The last time I was in a 'proper' relationship, the lady in question just couldn't understand why I liked to get away on my own for a bit. She was wonderful and everything but I don't want to spend every waking hour with someone. Sometimes I just want to sit in a coffee shop on my own and read a paper or stare out of the window! 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, Ingram85 said:

Believe me guys, all these minor annoyances, these little irritations etc... When you are on your own again you will miss them, trust me. I don't miss the downsides obviously and have moved on but the little character traits of all a few of my ex's that annoyed me at the time I now think of as endearing and miss them a bit.

 

Do regular punctures count as a character trait? ;)

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, PieFacE said:

Yup I had this issues when I moved in with my GF. Previously I had lived on my own for about 8 years.  So I got very used to getting home from work and maybe just playing some games  or browsing the web and not really saying much to anyone.  When we moved in my gf kept asking me if something was wrong when I behaved like this, but just talking to her about it made her understand, and now she will just watch TV in a different room or read a book or something if I just want some time to myself.

"No offence love, I just don't want to speak to you for a few hours" :)

9 years living more or less on my own. I'm not sure I can change now!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...
Â