The VT Baby club

[foreveryoung]

Kids change your life there is no doubt. I left it late, but before (I have a 6 year old), I could never imagine settling down, my longest relationship was 5 years. I lived in a Birmingham city centre apartment only 10 years ago, out every weekend, not necessarily on the drink, but out having a good time. It's a big change, an without my son I doubt I would still be in my current relationship, but I had to grow up. I don't think I will ever get married, as I have to admit our relationship is not that tight, my partner would probably agree with this too. But one things for sure, an one thing we both both agree on, we would not go our separate ways now, we have to much to lose. Whether this is for the best, I'm unsure, but it works..................most of the time.

Edited January 4, 2022 by foreveryoung

[Wainy316]

First baby, a little boy due in May (FA Cup final weekend, don't think I'll need to worry about that).

[Ingram85]

I’ve always been hoping to post in this thread one day but apart from this one I don’t think I’ll ever get the chance now. 

I left my marriage 5 years ago because after we got hitched she changed her mind about having kids despite previously wanting them. Been with an absolutely fantastic lady since separating with ex wife (now divorced) and while we have never been actively trying to get pregnant we don’t use protection so you’d think by now we would have if it was meant to be. I was worried it could be me but she said it had took 3 years to get pregnant with her ex husband and had had a difficult pregnancy/birth so it’s not looking great.

We had a chat and have decided between us that it doesn’t even matter, if it happens then great but her son is really great and gets on really well with me and since his father isn’t interested in him at all it’s given me a chance to step into the role and I’ve been really enjoying it. I met him when he was 8 so have had 2 Christmas seasons with him where he still believed and have seen him go from little kid to starting secondary school and he turns 12 tomorrow and I feel I have been privileged to be part of his journey so far. It’s not been perfect or plain sailing so far and at first I felt awkward but with time it’s gotten better and easier and will hopefully only get more fulfilling as time goes on.

IF me and the missus get pregnant then great but I think with us both approaching 40 in a few years and her being worried about her health based on last pregnancy and being older now compared to then, if we are honest then we aren’t going to be too upset. I was absolutely crest fallen when my ex said she didn’t want kids anymore. I’ve always wanted to be a dad, ideally with one of my own but the odds are against me on that front now, however, I’ve been blessed in another way and intend to keep stepping up to provide everything a biological dad should be doing and hopefully when he grows up he appreciates me stepping up to the plate as I appreciate him letting me be his step dad. Life is frustrating at times yet equally as wonderful in other ways. 

Hope you guys don’t mind me posting this as I guess it doesn’t really fit the criteria but I didn’t really know where to put it and it kind of felt like the right place to get it out. 

Edited January 4, 2022 by Ingram85

[foreveryoung]

2 minutes ago, Ingram85 said:

I’ve always been hoping to post in this thread one day but apart from this one I don’t think I’ll ever get the chance now. 

I left my marriage 5 years ago because after we got hitched she changed her mind about having kids despite previously wanting them. Been with an absolutely fantastic lady since separating with ex wife (now divorced) and while we have never been actively trying to get pregnant we don’t use protection so you’d think by now we would have if it was meant to be. I was worried it could be me but she said it had took 3 years to get pregnant with her ex husband and had had a difficult pregnancy/birth so it’s not looking great.

We had a chat and have decided between us that it doesn’t even matter, if it happens then great but her son is really great and gets on really well with me and since his father isn’t interested in him at all it’s given me a chance to step into the role and I’ve been really enjoying it. I met him when he was 8 so have had 2 Christmas seasons with him where he still believed and have seen him go from little kid to starting secondary school and he turns 12 tomorrow and I feel I have been privileged to be part of his journey so far. It’s not prefect and at first I felt awkward but with time it’s gotten better and easier and will hopefully only get more fulfilling as time goes on.

IF me and the missus get pregnant then great but I think with of us both approaching 40 in a few years and she is worried about her health based on last pregnancy and being older now compared to then, if we are honest then we aren’t going to be too upset. I was absolutely crest fallen when my ex said she didn’t want kids anymore. I’ve always wanted to be a dad, ideally with one of my own but the odds are against me on that front now, however, I’ve been blessed in another way and intend to keep stepping up to provide everything a biological dad should be doing and hopefully when he grows up he appreciates me stepping up to the plate as I appreciate him letting me be his step dad. Life is frustrating at times yet equally as wonderful in other ways. 

Hope you guys don’t mind me posting this as I guess it doesn’t really fit the criteria but I didn’t really know where to put it and it kind of felt like the right place to get it out. 

It's good to hear peoples different stories thanks for posting. As for Dads who are not interested in there kids, it's something I will never understand. I couldn't dream of being without my son, it's something which helps keep me and my partner together.

[villa4europe]

15 minutes ago, Ingram85 said:

I’ve always been hoping to post in this thread one day but apart from this one I don’t think I’ll ever get the chance now. 

I left my marriage 5 years ago because after we got hitched she changed her mind about having kids despite previously wanting them. Been with an absolutely fantastic lady since separating with ex wife (now divorced) and while we have never been actively trying to get pregnant we don’t use protection so you’d think by now we would have if it was meant to be. I was worried it could be me but she said it had took 3 years to get pregnant with her ex husband and had had a difficult pregnancy/birth so it’s not looking great.

We had a chat and have decided between us that it doesn’t even matter, if it happens then great but her son is really great and gets on really well with me and since his father isn’t interested in him at all it’s given me a chance to step into the role and I’ve been really enjoying it. I met him when he was 8 so have had 2 Christmas seasons with him where he still believed and have seen him go from little kid to starting secondary school and he turns 12 tomorrow and I feel I have been privileged to be part of his journey so far. It’s not been perfect or plain sailing so far and at first I felt awkward but with time it’s gotten better and easier and will hopefully only get more fulfilling as time goes on.

IF me and the missus get pregnant then great but I think with us both approaching 40 in a few years and her being worried about her health based on last pregnancy and being older now compared to then, if we are honest then we aren’t going to be too upset. I was absolutely crest fallen when my ex said she didn’t want kids anymore. I’ve always wanted to be a dad, ideally with one of my own but the odds are against me on that front now, however, I’ve been blessed in another way and intend to keep stepping up to provide everything a biological dad should be doing and hopefully when he grows up he appreciates me stepping up to the plate as I appreciate him letting me be his step dad. Life is frustrating at times yet equally as wonderful in other ways. 

Hope you guys don’t mind me posting this as I guess it doesn’t really fit the criteria but I didn’t really know where to put it and it kind of felt like the right place to get it out. 

id say dont be shy or embarrassed by going to see a dr just to find out whats going on down there, me and the wife did after about 18 months of trying, nothing was "wrong" just both of our components were lazy as **** so we made some small diet changes i went on to some vitamin sachet thing off amazon not a chemist that got my troops fired up the wife did a few cycle testing things with the dr to get the dates right and then that was that, its not necessarily a case of IVF or anything or really pushing it its just that bit of education that helped us

it does blow my mind how it can be a drunken 1 night stand for some people and then for us it was trying to work out when jupiter aligns with mars, we get the room to a certain temperature and the wind blows from the northeast we're good to go

Edit - I'm sure it's zinc that gives you healthier sperm, can also remember trying to find something that you can cook with fenugreek! The Dr says eat fenugreek you'll be fine... What the **** am I meant to do with fenugreek

Edited January 4, 2022 by villa4europe

[TheAuthority]

14 hours ago, villa4europe said:

id say dont be shy or embarrassed by going to see a dr just to find out whats going on down there, me and the wife did after about 18 months of trying, nothing was "wrong" just both of our components were lazy as **** so we made some small diet changes i went on to some vitamin sachet thing off amazon not a chemist that got my troops fired up the wife did a few cycle testing things with the dr to get the dates right and then that was that, its not necessarily a case of IVF or anything or really pushing it its just that bit of education that helped us

it does blow my mind how it can be a drunken 1 night stand for some people and then for us it was trying to work out when jupiter aligns with mars, we get the room to a certain temperature and the wind blows from the northeast we're good to go

Edit - I'm sure it's zinc that gives you healthier sperm, can also remember trying to find something that you can cook with fenugreek! The Dr says eat fenugreek you'll be fine... What the **** am I meant to do with fenugreek

Often it's thyroid with women too. One pill and a month later kazaam.

[StefanAVFC]

21 hours ago, villa4europe said:

Edit - I'm sure it's zinc that gives you healthier sperm, can also remember trying to find something that you can cook with fenugreek! The Dr says eat fenugreek you'll be fine... What the **** am I meant to do with fenugreek

Banging curries

[MakemineVanilla]

When kids aren't keeping you up all night, they definitely are interesting.

Try typing 'babies reacting to music' into YouTube, the reactions are hilarioius.

Since I witnessed some three-year-old showing a preference for Led Zeppelin, I have had to admit my tastes are definitely immature.

[Davkaus]

Shit's been getting real in the last couple of days. Caitlin was born at 27 weeks so in the "extreme" range of prematury, and so far, it's honestly been pretty plain sailing, she came off ventilation within 3 days, tolerates her feeds and has been growing at a decent rate (got up to a whopping 1.4kg), and we've got into a decent routine. I spend the weekend there, and visit every on Tuesdays/thursdays, with a half day off work on Wednesday afternoon for a proper long visit, and take Mondays off to do house stuff/chill, and Friday for a night off for both me and her mum so we can get dinner, watch a film, or just anything to get out of that NICU unit for a few hours so we don't go insane. I have a few weeks I can take off work but we've decided to stick to a half day a week until she's discharged so I can take lots of time off when she comes home.

We've not been too worried at all, and with her being our first we didn't have much to compare to, but it came crashing down a bit yesterday, she turned a month old, and it was the first proper setback. Her stomach doubled in size over a couple of hours, had some xrays, and she had some necrotic tissue in her bowel. Got her on antibiotics and were told we'd keep her on them for 10 days, monitor progress and see if we needed to operate. 2 hours later, she'd crashed further and went into theatre. We were a proper mess and were saying our goodbyes, because there was a real chance she wasn't coming out of there. Fortunately it went as well as could have hoped for, they've taken out about 50cm of damaged lower intestine and her appendix, but the colons/upper intestines are fine, and there's a decent chance of a full recovery, but we won't know for sure until they open her back up and check the progress in about a month.

Her due date was March 14th and we hoped to have her home by then, but best case scenario, that's been pushed back a month, most likely she's in there until May, and it's shown us just how fragile things are, that despite a month of progress, one bad afternoon can put her life on the line.

I know there's a few of us that are new dads in the last couple of months. Hug your babies every minute you can, I wish I could  

Edited January 21, 2022 by Davkaus

[JoshVilla]

32 minutes ago, Davkaus said:

Shit's been getting real in the last couple of days. Caitlin was born at 27 weeks so in the "extreme" range of prematury, and so far, it's honestly been pretty plain sailing, she came off ventilation within 3 days, tolerates her feeds and has been growing at a decent rate (got up to a whopping 1.4kg), and we've got into a decent routine. I spend the weekend there, and visit every on Tuesdays/thursdays, with a half day off work on Wednesday afternoon for a proper long visit, and take Mondays off to do house stuff/chill, and Friday for a night off for both me and her mum so we can get dinner, watch a film, or just anything to get out of that NICU unit for a few hours so we don't go insane. I have a few weeks I can take off work but we've decided to stick to a half day a week until she's discharged so I can take lots of time off when she comes home.

We've not been too worried at all, and with her being our first we didn't have much to compare to, but it came crashing down a bit yesterday, she turned a month old, and it was the first proper setback. Her stomach doubled in size over a couple of hours, had some xrays, and she had some necrotic tissue in her bowel. Got her on antibiotics and were told we'd keep her on them for 10 days, monitor progress and see if we needed to operate. 2 hours later, she'd crashed further and went into theatre. We were a proper mess and were saying our goodbyes, because there was a real chance she wasn't coming out of there. Fortunately it went as well as could have hoped for, they've taken out about 50cm of damaged lower intestine and her appendix, but the colons/upper intestines are fine, and there's a decent chance of a full recovery, but we won't know for sure until they open her back up and check the progress in about a month.

Her due date was March 14th and we hoped to have her home by then, but best case scenario, that's been pushed back a month, most likely she's in there until May, and it's shown us just how fragile things are, that despite a month of progress, one bad afternoon can put her life on the line.

I know there's a few of us that are new dads in the last couple of months. Hug your babies every minute you can, I wish I could  

So sorry to hear that you and your little one have been having such a rough time of it. Ours is 3 months old today and we had a couple of worrying moments early on, nowhere near what you've been going through but I just couldn't get the worry out of my head. Fingers crossed that everything turns out okay 

[Genie]

The doctors and nurses that treat these tiny babies are miracle workers. Fingers crossed it’s all plain sailing from here @Davkaus

[Brumstopdogs]

Good luck with it all @Davkaus

[Genie]

Hey @Davkaushows the little one getting on? 

[Davkaus]

13 hours ago, Genie said:

Hey @Davkaushows the little one getting on? 

Pretty bloody well tbh! She's been high as a kite on morphine for a few days so it's been hard to watch, she's barely been able to open her eyes and when she could, she couldn't focus on anything, but they've weaned her off that, and we got her off the ventilator yesterday, so today was the first day in over a week since she's been well enough to come out for cuddles, and she's way more alert and able to track things with her eyes again. We can tell she's feeling better because she's back to being a feisty little madam at nappy change time  

The real downer about having a sick baby during covid is we realised today that she's probably going to be 4-5+ months old before she gets to see her mum and dad's face, but a week ago we didn't think we'd be taking her home, so we'll deal with it!

People keep thinking I'm exagerating about how tiny she is, this is today at 5 and a half weeks!

[mjmooney]

Hang in there, our kid. 

[Genie]

8 minutes ago, Davkaus said:

Pretty bloody well tbh! She's been high as a kite on morphine for a few days so it's been hard to watch, she's barely been able to open her eyes and when she could, she couldn't focus on anything, but they've weaned her off that, and we got her off the ventilator yesterday, so today was the first day in over a week since she's been well enough to come out for cuddles, and she's way more alert and able to track things with her eyes again. We can tell she's feeling better because she's back to being a feisty little madam at nappy change time  

The real downer about having a sick baby during covid is we realised today that she's probably going to be 4-5+ months old before she gets to see her mum and dad's face, but a week ago we didn't think we'd be taking her home, so we'll deal with it!

People keep thinking I'm exagerating about how tiny she is, this is today at 5 and a half weeks!

The face of a proud dad! 

[TheAuthority]

We're all rooting for you and her on here @Davkaus 

[Xela]

Just want to echo what @TheAuthoritysaid mate. Keep us updated @Davkaus 

 

Edited January 27, 2022 by Xela

[Davkaus]

Healing well after her surgery, back to full feeds, we had the best day we'd had in weeks, with her having 8 hours at a time without the CPAP, I had her for a good 4 hours of cuddling and stories, and her mum and I were feeling the most optimistic we have since before the surgery, only to find she's suffering from infection, and they think it's meningitis. A couple of hours after that we got called into "The Room" for a consultant to tell us a routine head scan had shown signs of severe brain injury that give her a very high risk of her struggling to develop motor skills. This is a never ending nightmare. A seven week old baby shouldn't have to go through this shit. Now her mum's been referred to mental health specialists because she's on the brink and I'm sitting here trying to keep shit together like it's all fine.

Edited February 11, 2022 by Davkaus

[Genie]

Absolutely heartbreaking @Davkaus