chrisp65 Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 4 hours ago, ender4 said: So this is a weird question but I’m a little bit confused with life right now and I’m hoping the VT hive mind has some ideas. In my life, I’ve always had a goal. Started with educational goals, then career goals, then family goals, then material goals, then experiences goals. So started by getting a degree, then getting a job and advancing my career, then meeting my wife, getting married, buying a house together, having kids, buying decent cars, going on regular holidays. And now I’ve just got the point where everything in life is settled, just paid off my mortgage, have 2 decent cars, go on 3 nice holidays a year, have a job that I really enjoy. So what to do with life now? Feels like I’ve completed this game. Also, I’m on a decent salary and I’m not a big spender. I’m pretty content with what I own and spend money on. My pension pot is healthy and I have savings. I’m not into flash cars or have any expensive tastes or hobbies. What do I spend my money on now? Do I make myself spend on ‘bigger & better’ things? Or just keep saving for no purpose. Im a little freaked out. It’s basically a choice between train spotting or danger wanks. Or do what I do and combine the both. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lichfield Dean Posted January 31 VT Supporter Share Posted January 31 Well this is the most depressing thing I've read today 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foreveryoung Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 Have an affair. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seat68 Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 Have you considered collecting Butlins Skegness Postcards? As an investment it produces very little in return, but the pleasure from it is immense. Results may vary. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted January 31 VT Supporter Share Posted January 31 Buy guitars. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 How old are your kids? How about helping them out with house deposits etc, when the time comes. Its getting harder and harder to get on the property ladder. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villa4europe Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 Sounds like a man who needs a PlayStation 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Follyfoot Posted January 31 VT Supporter Share Posted January 31 (edited) 19 minutes ago, Xela said: How old are your kids? How about helping them out with house deposits etc, when the time comes. Its getting harder and harder to get on the property ladder. Or start dressing the same same age as your kids, go out with them clubbing and offer them some gear in the toilets. If they have girlfriends or boyfriends hang around them, or they are in your presence , asking awkward questions and talking about the new 7 inch single from Edam and the ants Edited January 31 by Follyfoot 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panto_Villan Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 (edited) 5 hours ago, ender4 said: So this is a weird question but I’m a little bit confused with life right now and I’m hoping the VT hive mind has some ideas. In my life, I’ve always had a goal. Started with educational goals, then career goals, then family goals, then material goals, then experiences goals. So started by getting a degree, then getting a job and advancing my career, then meeting my wife, getting married, buying a house together, having kids, buying decent cars, going on regular holidays. And now I’ve just got the point where everything in life is settled, just paid off my mortgage, have 2 decent cars, go on 3 nice holidays a year, have a job that I really enjoy. So what to do with life now? Feels like I’ve completed this game. Also, I’m on a decent salary and I’m not a big spender. I’m pretty content with what I own and spend money on. My pension pot is healthy and I have savings. I’m not into flash cars or have any expensive tastes or hobbies. What do I spend my money on now? Do I make myself spend on ‘bigger & better’ things? Or just keep saving for no purpose. Im a little freaked out. First of all - well done getting to where you are. You're in a fortunate position now compared to most people, but I experienced something like what you're going through when I was younger (on a smaller scale, mind) and I know it can be quite hard to deal with. It's good to have goals but sometimes it's better not to achieve them! (*cue world's smallest violin*) Anyway, there's two things I'd suggest. The first is to do what several people have already mentioned - make sure you value your time. Consider your relationship with work very carefully. It's great you enjoy your job, but is it really the most enjoyable thing you could be doing with your time? The fact you want to retire early perhaps implies not? Make sure you're not doing it just because that's what you're used to, and what you feel like you should be doing. I know you said doing your job part-time isn't really an option, but is there any way you can move into a position where you could work 3 days a week? The issue with retiring early is you're going from 5 days a week to zero days a week overnight, at a time when most of your friends are probably still working full-time. You immediately need to develop hobbies to fill your entire week, which isn't easy, and in that situation lots of people just end up pottering around the house for a few months and then get bored and go back to their old job. It's potentially worth trying to engineer a situation where you can work 3-days a week for a much longer time, and hopefully then you'll find the transition to full retirement much easier when it happens. The second thing is - yeah, I'd probably try and force yourself to spend a bit more money on "treat" stuff, at least for a while. If you've been relatively sensible with money your whole life it can be difficult to unlearn that trait even if you've now reached the point where you can afford to splash a little more cash. Maybe set aside a chunk of money for you and your wife to just spend on things you would quite like, but don't consider good value, and make yourself spend it. See if you actually like those things or not. Stuff like: shopping at a more upmarket supermarket go to a really nice restaurant get a cleaner or gardener to do the chores for you fly premium economy or business class on your next holiday get a personal trainer and get into shape get lessons to do something you've always wanted to do etc If you end up thinking none of the things you spent the money on were worthwhile, you know you're already living your best life and you can start giving all your extra money to friends and family or to charity. You're already financially secure so just letting money accumulate in your bank account when it's not improving your life (and never will) is a waste. Edited January 31 by Panto_Villan 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 Is there a word or term for "I am simultaneously happy for your success and want to smack you in the mouth"? There must be some German phrase, they've got one for everything. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 7 minutes ago, GarethRDR said: Is there a word or term for "I am simultaneously happy for your success and want to smack you in the mouth"? There must be some German phrase, they've got one for everything. IchfreuemichgleichzeitigüberdeinenErfolgundmöchtedireinenaufdenMundgeben 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seat68 Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 7 minutes ago, chrisp65 said: IchfreuemichgleichzeitigüberdeinenErfolgundmöchtedireinenaufdenMundgeben I would love to visit that place. You Welsh with your quaint train stations. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 3 minutes ago, Seat68 said: I would love to visit that place. You Welsh with your quaint train stations. I walked in to a shop in Germany and they all started talking German. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bickster Posted January 31 Moderator Share Posted January 31 41 minutes ago, chrisp65 said: IchfreuemichgleichzeitigüberdeinenErfolgundmöchtedireinenaufdenMundgeben …gladbach 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turvontour Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 8 hours ago, ender4 said: So this is a weird question but I’m a little bit confused with life right now and I’m hoping the VT hive mind has some ideas. In my life, I’ve always had a goal. Started with educational goals, then career goals, then family goals, then material goals, then experiences goals. So started by getting a degree, then getting a job and advancing my career, then meeting my wife, getting married, buying a house together, having kids, buying decent cars, going on regular holidays. And now I’ve just got the point where everything in life is settled, just paid off my mortgage, have 2 decent cars, go on 3 nice holidays a year, have a job that I really enjoy. So what to do with life now? Feels like I’ve completed this game. Also, I’m on a decent salary and I’m not a big spender. I’m pretty content with what I own and spend money on. My pension pot is healthy and I have savings. I’m not into flash cars or have any expensive tastes or hobbies. What do I spend my money on now? Do I make myself spend on ‘bigger & better’ things? Or just keep saving for no purpose. Im a little freaked out. Maybe try a divorce or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheAuthority Posted February 1 VT Supporter Share Posted February 1 I have 2 young kids and have never been poorer, so I'll take 30% of what's in your pension and savings. That way you can adjust your goals and everyone wins! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob182 Posted February 1 Share Posted February 1 16 hours ago, Anthony said: The one resource you do have, in ever diminishing amounts, is time. Spend your limited time with people you love, doing things you love. Try to live in the moment, not always thinking of the next step. This is the right answer. My dad grafted like a bugger until his early 60s when he finally retired. He got about 2 good years of holidaying with my mom before cancer did him in. A year later my mom got cancer (thankfully now in remission). Now, 2 years later, my uncle has got cancer in his early 60s in his lung, kidney and liver. Life comes at you fast, so don’t count your blessings, basically. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MakemineVanilla Posted February 1 Share Posted February 1 January is the wrong time of year to make life-changing decisions. It's not the time of year to be in the best of moods, due to the cold weather and lack of light. Your present discontent will be mostly endocrinal. It's only eight weeks until the clocks go forward, when you'll start to feel the warm sap rising up your legs. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wainy316 Posted February 1 Share Posted February 1 Travel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Dogg Posted February 1 Share Posted February 1 2 hours ago, MakemineVanilla said: January is the wrong time of year to make life-changing decisions. It's not the time of year to be in the best of moods, due to the cold weather and lack of light. Your present discontent will be mostly endocrinal. It's only eight weeks until the clocks go forward, when you'll start to feel the warm sap rising up your legs. It's February bud! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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