Stevo985 Posted June 19, 2022 VT Supporter Share Posted June 19, 2022 21 hours ago, Robtaylor200 said: Been up town drinking, now its late, missed the last bus, no taxi available, no way home No problem. Go to nearest Indian take away, order a meal for delivery to your house and jump in with the driver I’ve actually done this. Sort of. Got a lift with an Uber Eats driver because I couldn’t get a cab 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparrow1988 Posted June 19, 2022 Share Posted June 19, 2022 On 18/06/2022 at 16:18, sidcow said: I don't believe that. The meat would be all stringy and very little of it. Probably unhealthy to actually eat also. You are aware of the diet of the animals that we eat, right? A vegan might be tasty. They just need to be allowed graze for long enough first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidcow Posted June 19, 2022 VT Supporter Share Posted June 19, 2022 15 minutes ago, sparrow1988 said: You are aware of the diet of the animals that we eat, right? A vegan might be tasty. They just need to be allowed graze for long enough first. I mean, it was just a joke but at least animals we eat which graze have developed that way, it's their actual diet so should fatten them up and provide all the vitamins and minerals their body needs. But as I say it's was just supposed to be a joke. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colhint Posted June 20, 2022 Share Posted June 20, 2022 I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye. 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PussEKatt Posted June 21, 2022 Share Posted June 21, 2022 A blind man walks into a bar...and a table..and a chair. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enda Posted June 21, 2022 Share Posted June 21, 2022 My wife asked if we could help her best friend move house, she was moving into her fiancé’s house. They had a lot of stuff in storage and they’d rented a van, so it was me and him (James, nice chap) in the van up front and my wife and James’s new fiancée following in the car behind. We pull up to the keypad at the gates of the storage company when James stops the van, only to put his head in his hands. He can’t remember their access code. No worries I say, just pop out and ask the fiancée. ”We can’t,” he says. “The access code is her date of birth.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted June 22, 2022 Share Posted June 22, 2022 I wouldn't call myself a fan of steam punk, but I will say, it's the healthiest way to prepare punk. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted June 25, 2022 Share Posted June 25, 2022 My mate stutters quite a lot, he was telling us about his Nanna By the time he finished we were all singing Hey Jude 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PussEKatt Posted June 25, 2022 Share Posted June 25, 2022 I wondered why the frisbe kept getting bigger and bigger.Then it hit me. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted June 25, 2022 Share Posted June 25, 2022 Every woman is Bi. You just have to figure out if it is polar or sexual. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted June 28, 2022 Share Posted June 28, 2022 The statistics don't lie: women are treated for more mental illnesses than men. Twenty-nine percent of women have been treated for a mental illness of some kind The way I see it then is that 71% are walking about untreated 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted June 28, 2022 Share Posted June 28, 2022 (edited) Because of droughts () all over Europe, scientists are predicting a global shortage of Olive Oil, soon the world will know how Pop-Eye felt after the death of his wife. I read a story of a 17 year old kid who stole a plane, crashed it and survived.. Why don't we make the whole plane out of that kid? Edited June 28, 2022 by lapal_fan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted June 28, 2022 Share Posted June 28, 2022 15 minutes ago, lapal_fan said: Because of draughts all over Europe, scientists are predicting a global shortage of Olive Oil, soon the world will know how Pop-Eye felt after the death of his wife. Are they making the little discs out of olive oil now? 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted June 28, 2022 Share Posted June 28, 2022 58 minutes ago, lapal_fan said: I read a story of a 17 year old kid who stole a plane, crashed it and survived.. Why don't we make the whole plane out of that kid? My dad use to tell a similar joke “the black box flight recorder is designed to survive a plane crash” Why don’t they make the whole plane out of the same stuff as the black box? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted June 28, 2022 Moderator Share Posted June 28, 2022 3 minutes ago, Genie said: My dad use to tell a similar joke “the black box flight recorder is designed to survive a plane crash” Why don’t they make the whole plane out of the same stuff as the black box? That's what lapal's one is based on. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted June 28, 2022 Share Posted June 28, 2022 2 minutes ago, BOF said: That's what lapal's one is based on. I thought it might be for a second, but then following the drought / draught debacle led to me think it might be amateur hour Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted June 28, 2022 Share Posted June 28, 2022 24 minutes ago, Genie said: I thought it might be for a second, but then following the drought / draught debacle led to me think it might be amateur hour Norm MacDonald! Stupid Geny 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PussEKatt Posted June 28, 2022 Share Posted June 28, 2022 28 minutes ago, Genie said: Why don’t they make the whole plane out of the same stuff as the black box? Because the material they use to make the "Black boxes" only come in box shapes and the only colour is orange. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post BOF Posted June 29, 2022 Moderator Popular Post Share Posted June 29, 2022 BREAKING: Scientists discover amazing fact about icebergs. More below 3 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Lifeboats Posted June 29, 2022 Share Posted June 29, 2022 On 28/06/2022 at 13:33, Genie said: My dad use to tell a similar joke “the black box flight recorder is designed to survive a plane crash” Why don’t they make the whole plane out of the same stuff as the black box? The density of the material would make the plane too heavy to take off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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