sidcow Posted June 2, 2022 VT Supporter Share Posted June 2, 2022 9 hours ago, leemond2008 said: I was in the pub with my mate yesterday 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted June 3, 2022 Share Posted June 3, 2022 I watched my son walk back to the pavilion. "Well done son" I said "you'll play for England one day". "Dad" he replied "I was bowled out for a duck, twice". "I know son, I know " I answered. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post mjmooney Posted June 3, 2022 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted June 3, 2022 Someone keeps sending me flowers with the heads cut off. I think I'm being stalked. 3 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted June 10, 2022 Share Posted June 10, 2022 was at an Italian restaurant last Friday... Me: "I'll just have the Paggione". Waitress: "That says 'page one', sir." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted June 10, 2022 Share Posted June 10, 2022 At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old players aside and asked "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative. "Do you understand that what matters is not whether we win or lose, but how we play together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes. "So" the coach continued "I'm sure you know, when a penalty is given, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the referee, or call him a spunktrumpet. Do you understand all that?" Again, the little boy nodded. He continued "And when I sub you off so that another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach 'a stupid **** retard', is it?" Again, the little boy nodded. "Good" said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your dad". 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted June 10, 2022 Share Posted June 10, 2022 (edited) 3 minutes ago, rjw63 said: At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old players aside and asked "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative. "Do you understand that what matters is not whether we win or lose, but how we play together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes. "So" the coach continued "I'm sure you know, when a penalty is given, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the referee, or call him a spunktrumpet. Do you understand all that?" Again, the little boy nodded. He continued "And when I sub you off so that another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach 'a stupid **** retard', is it?" Again, the little boy nodded. "Good" said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your dad". Sad but true. Parents and coaches are a nightmare at junior football. My boy wants to ref when he’s 14 but i’ll have to always be there. Even if he was reffing an under 7’s game the adults will be aggressive and abusive. Edited June 10, 2022 by Genie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted June 10, 2022 Share Posted June 10, 2022 1 minute ago, Genie said: Sad but true. Parents and coaches are a nightmare at junior football. My boy wants to ref when he’s 14 but i’ll have to always be there. Even if he was reffing an under 7’s game the adults will be aggressive and abusive. It's a joke, I hope you laughed a little bit 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted June 10, 2022 Share Posted June 10, 2022 2 minutes ago, rjw63 said: It's a joke, I hope you laughed a little bit Nope, it was literally what happens every week. I’d say coaches are worse than parents for it in general. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post rjw63 Posted June 18, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted June 18, 2022 I've been working with a cannibal tribe in Papua New Guinea for a while, and I've recently persuaded them to go vegan. They love 'em. 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidcow Posted June 18, 2022 VT Supporter Share Posted June 18, 2022 1 hour ago, rjw63 said: I've been working with a cannibal tribe in Papua New Guinea for a while, and I've recently persuaded them to go vegan. They love 'em. I don't believe that. The meat would be all stringy and very little of it. Probably unhealthy to actually eat also. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted June 18, 2022 Share Posted June 18, 2022 1 hour ago, sidcow said: I don't believe that. The meat would be all stringy and very little of it. Probably unhealthy to actually eat also. At least it’s easy to identify vegans. They’ll tell you. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted June 18, 2022 Share Posted June 18, 2022 Been up town drinking, now its late, missed the last bus, no taxi available, no way home No problem. Go to nearest Indian take away, order a meal for delivery to your house and jump in with the driver Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidcow Posted June 19, 2022 VT Supporter Share Posted June 19, 2022 7 hours ago, Robtaylor200 said: Been up town drinking, now its late, missed the last bus, no taxi available, no way home No problem. Go to nearest Indian take away, order a meal for delivery to your house and jump in with the driver 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted June 19, 2022 Share Posted June 19, 2022 16 hours ago, rjw63 said: I've been working with a cannibal tribe in Papua New Guinea for a while, and I've recently persuaded them to go vegan. They love 'em. Reminds me of the old one. Two cannibals eating a clown one asks Did he taste funny to you ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theboyangel Posted June 19, 2022 Share Posted June 19, 2022 (edited) 16 minutes ago, Robtaylor200 said: Reminds me of the old one. Two cannibals eating a clown one asks Did he taste funny to you ? Or the one about the vegetarian cannibals. They only ate Swedes. Edited June 19, 2022 by theboyangel 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted June 19, 2022 Share Posted June 19, 2022 14 hours ago, Robtaylor200 said: Been up town drinking, now its late, missed the last bus, no taxi available, no way home No problem. Go to nearest Indian take away, order a meal for delivery to your house and jump in with the driver Forgot to mention you could bung the driver a couple of quid saving loads on taxi fare Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PussEKatt Posted June 19, 2022 Share Posted June 19, 2022 20 hours ago, Genie said: At least it’s easy to identify vegans. They’ll tell you. Not sure,but I think there is a race of Vegans in Star Treak. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted June 19, 2022 Share Posted June 19, 2022 28 minutes ago, PussEKatt said: Star Treak. I missed that one, sounds interesting 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted June 19, 2022 VT Supporter Share Posted June 19, 2022 1 hour ago, PussEKatt said: Not sure,but I think there is a race of Vegans in Star Treak. No, you're thinking of the Vogons in The Hiker's Guide to the Universe. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted June 19, 2022 Share Posted June 19, 2022 someone just rung my mobile , sneezed down the line and hung up i think it was a cold call 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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