choffer Posted April 20, 2022 VT Supporter Share Posted April 20, 2022 If someone calls you fat, don’t entertain them. You're bigger than that. 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post rjw63 Posted April 21, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted April 21, 2022 After shagging Christina Hendricks yesterday I think there are 2 things you all need to know. Firstly she really is as sexy as hell, with the most fantastic rack; Secondly the staff at Madam Tussauds are miserable bastards with no sense of humour. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted April 21, 2022 Share Posted April 21, 2022 I got home the other day and my wife was sitting on the couch with two of her gorgeous friends. She said, "we were just talking about having a foursome if you're up for it". She smiled and winked. Two minutes later I appeared naked with my cock in my hand. They all had tennis rackets in theirs. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted April 25, 2022 Share Posted April 25, 2022 I don't believe in hitting my children as a form or punishment. InsteadI send them to school in a Justin Bieber T-shirt and a pair of Crocs and let the other kids do it for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foreveryoung Posted April 25, 2022 Share Posted April 25, 2022 (edited) My lad came home from school and asked me "what's the difference between Hypothetical and realistic". I said go and ask you mom if she would sleep with another man for 1 million quid. He came back, "she said yes". I said go ask your sister if she'd sleep with a man for a million quid. He came back "she also said yes". I said, so 'hypothetically' were sitting on 2 million quid But 'realistically' were living with 2 F****g whores! Edited April 25, 2022 by foreveryoung 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spoony Posted April 27, 2022 Share Posted April 27, 2022 On 31/03/2022 at 06:20, Mandy Lifeboats said: What’s the difference between a pound and a ruble. 100p. ——This special operation barely humorous remark was conducted by the Villatalk Glorious Political Satire Brigade —— I’m concerned that you have misquoted the joke that was approved by the VillaTalk Glorious Political Satire Brigade. It goes: What is the difference between a pound and a ruble? Nothing. Both are meaningless, capitalist poison which distract you from your revolutionary labour. GLORY TO VILLATALK 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Lifeboats Posted April 27, 2022 Share Posted April 27, 2022 Well said comrade @Spoony From now on this thread should only contain glorious and wholesome jokes. Three men go into a pub. A Russian, a Ukrainian and a Finn. The Ukrainian buys the Russia a drink to thank him for liberating Ukraine. The Finn provokes the Russia by learning self defence. The Russian kills the Ukrainian’s children who are a unproductive drain on society and the main reason for the failure to meet this year’s wheat harvest quota. The Finn steps in to help using a NATO provided Pool Cue but is also killed by the Russian. And the punchline is that we had already exceeded the wheat quota by a significant margin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blandy Posted April 27, 2022 Moderator Share Posted April 27, 2022 1 hour ago, Spoony said: Both are meaningless, capitalist poison which distract you from your revolutionary labour. GLORY TO VILLATALK Thanks. That means a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ferguson1 Posted April 27, 2022 Share Posted April 27, 2022 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dante_Lockhart Posted April 27, 2022 Share Posted April 27, 2022 On 21/04/2022 at 15:25, rjw63 said: After shagging Christina Hendricks yesterday I think there are 2 things you all need to know. Firstly she really is as sexy as hell, with the most fantastic rack; Secondly the staff at Madam Tussauds are miserable bastards with no sense of humour. Ahhhh Christina Hendricks. Hubba Hubba 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theboyangel Posted April 27, 2022 Share Posted April 27, 2022 1 hour ago, ferguson1 said: @ferguson1 seen dusting off his joke book… 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ferguson1 Posted April 27, 2022 Share Posted April 27, 2022 6 minutes ago, theboyangel said: @ferguson1 seen dusting off his joke book… and I have plenty more 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Xela Posted May 6, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted May 6, 2022 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted May 8, 2022 Share Posted May 8, 2022 The new Einstein theory. If you were to strip naked and run around in a circle at the speed of 186,282 miles/sec (the speed of light), it would be theoretically possible for you to screw yourself. However, since you are not physically capable of achieving that speed , you can also accomplish the same result by voting Tory in the next election. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted May 8, 2022 Share Posted May 8, 2022 Mr whippy was found dead today. He had a flake up bis arse, chocolate sprinkles on his dick and strawberry sauce on his balls. Police think he topped himself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theboyangel Posted May 8, 2022 Share Posted May 8, 2022 53 minutes ago, rjw63 said: Mr whippy was found dead today. He had a flake up bis arse, chocolate sprinkles on his dick and strawberry sauce on his balls. Police think he topped himself. I’m shocked he didn’t have crushed nuts 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted May 8, 2022 Share Posted May 8, 2022 11 minutes ago, theboyangel said: I’m shocked he didn’t have crushed nuts 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Stevo985 Posted May 9, 2022 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted May 9, 2022 On 27/04/2022 at 06:57, Mandy Lifeboats said: Well said comrade @Spoony From now on this thread should only contain glorious and wholesome jokes. What’s as big as a house, burns 20 litres of fuel every hour, puts out a shit-load of smoke and noise, and cuts an apple into three pieces? A Soviet machine made to cut apples into four pieces 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Mandy Lifeboats Posted May 9, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted May 9, 2022 51 minutes ago, Stevo985 said: What’s as big as a house, burns 20 litres of fuel every hour, puts out a shit-load of smoke and noise, and cuts an apple into three pieces? A Soviet machine made to cut apples into four pieces Correct. The glorious apple cutting machine delivers a apple quarter to the people that is 8% larger than the West's apple quarter. 1 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post choffer Posted May 15, 2022 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted May 15, 2022 8 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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