What is your experience of mental health?

[Brumerican]

I could drive a bus pretty easily mind you . I have held a class one license since 98 .

I'd decapitate the top deck at the first encounter with a bridge but it would be smooth sailing until that happened.

[Chindie]

I suppose I should do an update.

I'm still not great. At the moment I'm basically trying to get myself out of a spiral of self neglect, if nothing else because this year in lockdown has seen me get horrifyingly fat and I'm due to be back in the office in a couple of months. I'm trying to be 'good' and I spent the weekend markedly cutting back on calories, but then today I finish work and just get a pizza.

My house is a state, as well as myself. There's crap everywhere, I've not vacuumed in months... I just can't be arsed. And that's going for everything really. It just all seems pointless.

After finishing work today, which wasn't a particularly bad day, I just sat down and watched TV and browsed my usual online haunts. There's stuff I could be doing, stuff I want to do in my hobbies, but I can't get motivated for it. I did some hobby work over the weekend, and the current project I'm focused on (of about 6) still got a fair bit too do, but after the work day ends I just can't be bothered at the moment.

I dunno what's wrong with me. I still think about topping myself more than I should.

[Stevo985]

On 25/04/2021 at 08:56, villan-scott said:

I know this is small in comparison to issues discussed in this thread, but it is having a big impact on me and my marriage also. I’m hoping this all goes ahead smoothly as it will transform things for us. 

Like the great Karl Pilkington said, we all have a worry hole in our head. And you fill it with different things. If you've got big worries then they fill your worry hole more easily. But if you don't then all those other little worries fill it up instead, but your worry hole still gets filled.

Obviously he has a head like a **** orange so he's talking nonsense, but I think what he was getting at was everyone has their own issues. Yeah yours might not seem as bad as some other people's, but it's YOUR issue. And if it's keeping you up at night and affecting your mental health then it's just as important, if not more, than everyone else's worries.

Glad to hear you've had a weight off your shoulders. Can't imagine how good it felt! Remember that no worry is small enough not to talk about. Stay safe

[Stevo985]

1 hour ago, Chindie said:

I suppose I should do an update.

I'm still not great. At the moment I'm basically trying to get myself out of a spiral of self neglect, if nothing else because this year in lockdown has seen me get horrifyingly fat and I'm due to be back in the office in a couple of months. I'm trying to be 'good' and I spent the weekend markedly cutting back on calories, but then today I finish work and just get a pizza.

My house is a state, as well as myself. There's crap everywhere, I've not vacuumed in months... I just can't be arsed. And that's going for everything really. It just all seems pointless.

After finishing work today, which wasn't a particularly bad day, I just sat down and watched TV and browsed my usual online haunts. There's stuff I could be doing, stuff I want to do in my hobbies, but I can't get motivated for it. I did some hobby work over the weekend, and the current project I'm focused on (of about 6) still got a fair bit too do, but after the work day ends I just can't be bothered at the moment.

I dunno what's wrong with me. I still think about topping myself more than I should.

If the weight thing is really bothering you then there are a couple of threads around on VT with great advice in, and lots of us with experience can give you support.

My quick tip would be not to cut down on your calories TOO drastically, as starving yourself probably won't work and makes it far easier to break your diet. Also, a cheat meal every now and then won't ruin all the hard work you do put in. A pizza once a week is absolutely fine. In fact i swear by it. It keeps you sane and it's much easier to refuse snacks when you know you've got that pizza coming up on a Saturday night.

PM me if you want any help or support. I'm not an expert or anything but I've lost plenty of weight in my time so I know what tends to work and what doesn't.

[Big Salad]

1 hour ago, Chindie said:

I suppose I should do an update.

I'm still not great. At the moment I'm basically trying to get myself out of a spiral of self neglect, if nothing else because this year in lockdown has seen me get horrifyingly fat and I'm due to be back in the office in a couple of months. I'm trying to be 'good' and I spent the weekend markedly cutting back on calories, but then today I finish work and just get a pizza.

My house is a state, as well as myself. There's crap everywhere, I've not vacuumed in months... I just can't be arsed. And that's going for everything really. It just all seems pointless.

After finishing work today, which wasn't a particularly bad day, I just sat down and watched TV and browsed my usual online haunts. There's stuff I could be doing, stuff I want to do in my hobbies, but I can't get motivated for it. I did some hobby work over the weekend, and the current project I'm focused on (of about 6) still got a fair bit too do, but after the work day ends I just can't be bothered at the moment.

I dunno what's wrong with me. I still think about topping myself more than I should.

Hey pal hate to hear this and what your going through.I have a weight issue myself,mainly due to overeating and not eating as healthy as I should.I have started walking every day and cutting back and sweets and starches but is very hard indeed;food has always brought 'comfort' to me as it were if I was feeling down.There are so many ways to lose weight and I truly hope you can find one that works for u.

As far as the other things goes,I have been in a similar position also.I felt drained and just meh day in and day out.How I helped myself get out of that funk was simply to be around people as much as I could;not sure if that can be a thing for you but it helped and still helps me a lot.

You are not alone by any means pal and please PM me,anyone else on here,or call a professional if need be.

Really hope things turn out ok for ya

[Genie]

9 hours ago, Chindie said:

I suppose I should do an update.

I'm still not great. At the moment I'm basically trying to get myself out of a spiral of self neglect, if nothing else because this year in lockdown has seen me get horrifyingly fat and I'm due to be back in the office in a couple of months. I'm trying to be 'good' and I spent the weekend markedly cutting back on calories, but then today I finish work and just get a pizza.

My house is a state, as well as myself. There's crap everywhere, I've not vacuumed in months... I just can't be arsed. And that's going for everything really. It just all seems pointless.

After finishing work today, which wasn't a particularly bad day, I just sat down and watched TV and browsed my usual online haunts. There's stuff I could be doing, stuff I want to do in my hobbies, but I can't get motivated for it. I did some hobby work over the weekend, and the current project I'm focused on (of about 6) still got a fair bit too do, but after the work day ends I just can't be bothered at the moment.

I dunno what's wrong with me. I still think about topping myself more than I should.

Hey mate, sorry to hear you’re feeling so low. I’m a believe that “there’s always a way” but indeed finding it is often difficult.

My recent experience of mental health issues is from my brother. Early last year he split with his (second) wife and went down hill. He had money issues too and tried to take his own life as he couldn’t see a way through it.

First thing he did was see the doctor (I had to really push him). He was on anti-depressants already but they changed them, and then upped the dosage. It was enough to make him start to think more clearly. 

We then tackled his finances and got that into a manageable state for him.

Next, he started to find as many things to do as possible. The absolute worst thing was being at home on his own. He got back to doing some old hobby’s (he was into stock car racing). It has a great, friendly community and it keeps his mind busy and active. 
He’s a changed man now (still a bit of a nob though) and and luring in wife number 3.

I’d highly recommend seeing the doctor as first port of call and explaining how you feel. I’m sure there’s something they can do.

From here I'd suggest something like a local park run. Gives you something to focus on, see people, burn some calories, feel healthier and you can progressively improve your time. 

Remember there’s always a way through the challenges. 

[mjmooney]

14 hours ago, Chindie said:

My house is a state, as well as myself. There's crap everywhere, I've not vacuumed in months... I just can't be arsed. And that's going for everything really. It just all seems pointless.

OK, there's your challenge. Just MAKE yourself tidy and clean up. Not because it matters all that much in itself, but it's amazing how much better it makes you feel. I tidied the unbelievable tip that was our garage the other day - not because I'm one of life's tidy people, I'm absolutely not, but looking at the results totally lifted my seratonin levels. Just do it. 

[lapal_fan]

5 minutes ago, mjmooney said:

OK, there's your challenge. Just MAKE yourself tidy and clean up. Not because it matters all that much in itself, but it's amazing how much better it makes you feel. I tidied the unbelievable tip that was our garage the other day - not because I'm one of life's tidy people, I'm absolutely not, but looking at the results totally lifted my seratonin levels. Just do it. 

Make your bed - rules number 1.

 

A lot "murica, hell yea" - but the point is true. 

[Ingram85]

Mike’s right. Keep goals small and realistic. Everyday things. Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t do them. Try again the next day. 

[Stevo985]

Same goes for the weight.

Don't think of it as "I need to lose 2 stone (for example). Think of it as "I need to lose 1 pound this week"

Weigh yourself first thing on a saturday morning when you're empty and keep your weigh in at the same time every week. And have that cheat meal on a saturday as a reward.

 

Before you know it you'll be 6 weeks in and half a stone lighter (at least)

[Chindie]

On 26/04/2021 at 23:19, Stevo985 said:

If the weight thing is really bothering you then there are a couple of threads around on VT with great advice in, and lots of us with experience can give you support.

My quick tip would be not to cut down on your calories TOO drastically, as starving yourself probably won't work and makes it far easier to break your diet. Also, a cheat meal every now and then won't ruin all the hard work you do put in. A pizza once a week is absolutely fine. In fact i swear by it. It keeps you sane and it's much easier to refuse snacks when you know you've got that pizza coming up on a Saturday night.

PM me if you want any help or support. I'm not an expert or anything but I've lost plenty of weight in my time so I know what tends to work and what doesn't.

Thanks.

I'm still calorie cutting, pretty drastically but I'm not exactly starving myself - I'm not hungry at any point. And there's no snacks in the house at all.

I've just gotten so big. I'm never going to be stick thin, and don't want to be - my build, and all of the family really, makes us look ill if we lose a lot of weight. My dad lost tons when he was first recovering from cancer and looked far worse than he did before, and when I lost a load of weight at the height of my other issues I looked extremely unwell, enough for people to comment - but right now I actively feel fat and unwell. So it's got to go.

[Chindie]

23 hours ago, mjmooney said:

OK, there's your challenge. Just MAKE yourself tidy and clean up. Not because it matters all that much in itself, but it's amazing how much better it makes you feel. I tidied the unbelievable tip that was our garage the other day - not because I'm one of life's tidy people, I'm absolutely not, but looking at the results totally lifted my seratonin levels. Just do it

It's probably one of this weekends jobs. When I've made a dent in things before I've felt better so I know I'll benefit from doing it. It's just motivation to do it - it feels like eating my free time for no benefit somehow, despite that I know there's a benefit.

[Chindie]

Thanks all anywho.

[El Zen]

It looks like you have a plan, and are motivated to go through with it. That’s a big part of the job, @Chindie. Best of luck! I have some history of success on the weight loss front, so please ask if you want any advice! 

[Stevo985]

34 minutes ago, Chindie said:

Thanks.

I'm still calorie cutting, pretty drastically but I'm not exactly starving myself - I'm not hungry at any point. And there's no snacks in the house at all.

I've just gotten so big. I'm never going to be stick thin, and don't want to be - my build, and all of the family really, makes us look ill if we lose a lot of weight. My dad lost tons when he was first recovering from cancer and looked far worse than he did before, and when I lost a load of weight at the height of my other issues I looked extremely unwell, enough for people to comment - but right now I actively feel fat and unwell. So it's got to go.

We all have our own goals so just do what will make you feel happiest.

PMs are open mate, like I said I'm not an expert but happy to help if I can or if you just want to bounce some ideas off me

[wazzap24]

On 25/04/2021 at 08:56, villan-scott said:

I’ve just posted in the house thread but thought I’d drop in here too. Quite often I’ve been a silent reader of this thread. 

I’ve been burying my head in the sand for too long. Over the years we’ve racked up a lot on credit cards and loans, and been in a vicious cycle. We’ve always been able to pay them monthly and still had excess but the debt had been increasing, but more recently and over the last 12 months it’s been getting closer and closer to becoming an unaffordable problem.

I’ve been ashamed and it has taken a toll on my mental health. Sleepless nights worrying about it, I should and do know better but been feeling helpless to do anything about it. The debt prevents us from doing a lot of things as a family. My sister is getting married in Rhodes next year, and as it stands we simply can’t afford to get because of this debt and I refuse to put even more on a card  

This week I’ve spoken to a different mortgage advisor to who looked after us previously. The previous guy wasn’t much use, and just did a product transfer without really addressing our issues. 

We’re 12 months into a 2y fix, and with the increase in property price are able to finally consolidate all the debts and will save us around £700 per month even paying the ERC (current lender won’t go high enough on the LTV for debt con). This is massive. It will be such a huge weight off my shoulders and my mind. I’m vowing to never build the debt up again. And try and save! Whilst, as it stands, having a decent amount of equity in the property, we’d be at about 83% LTV consolidated everything.

I know this is small in comparison to issues discussed in this thread, but it is having a big impact on me and my marriage also. I’m hoping this all goes ahead smoothly as it will transform things for us. 

Being in debt isn’t a small matter. It can be hugely debilitating and take a massive toll on both physical and mental health. 

I’ve been there. 4/5 years ago I had close to £50k on credit cards. I only got out of it through a mixture of good fortune and some help from my Dad. I’d carried some of that debt for almost a decade and it’s crippling. 

Still have a bit left now (more than a lot of people would be comfortable with), but I’m chipping at it with overpayments every month and hope to be completely debt free in 12/18months (mortgage aside) 

looking back, I can’t believe it got to where it was and consider myself very fortunate that it didn’t pull me under. 

Hope it all works it ok for you. 

[mjmooney]

59 minutes ago, El Zen said:

It looks like you have a plan, and are motivated to go through with it. That’s a big part of the job, @Chindie. Best of luck! I have some history of success on the weight loss front, so please ask if you want any advice! 

Having met you, I find it hard to believe you were ever overweight. 

[El Zen]

7 minutes ago, mjmooney said:

Having met you, I find it hard to believe you were ever overweight. 

Never massively so, but still took off nearly 20kg between July and September 2017. 

[AVFC_Hitz]

1 hour ago, Chindie said:

Thanks all anywho.

My PM is also open Chindie. Aberystwyth alumnae and all that. 

[villan-scott]

1 hour ago, wazzap24 said:

Being in debt isn’t a small matter. It can be hugely debilitating and take a massive toll on both physical and mental health. 

I’ve been there. 4/5 years ago I had close to £50k on credit cards. I only got out of it through a mixture of good fortune and some help from my Dad. I’d carried some of that debt for almost a decade and it’s crippling. 

Still have a bit left now (more than a lot of people would be comfortable with), but I’m chipping at it with overpayments every month and hope to be completely debt free in 12/18months (mortgage aside) 

looking back, I can’t believe it got to where it was and consider myself very fortunate that it didn’t pull me under. 

Hope it all works it ok for you. 

Thanks Wazza! So many people struggle and it almost feels taboo to talk about money issues and worries. Thanks for sharing that you’ve struggled too. Congratulations on getting back on top of it. This feels like my epiphany moment. I’m hoping we can get this all wrapped up, and never get into this mess again.