What is your experience of mental health?

[Big Salad]

17 hours ago, Jimzk5 said:

Having my driving license revoked has hit me harder than being told I have a brain tumour today

I've had my 2 kids and it would've been nice to take them out now the zoo and safari park are open

I'm very up and down at the moment, at my best I'm happy to have 2 amazing kids, at my worst I'm depressed that I have this tumour that is taking them away.

Hate to hear this palYou and yours in my thoughts.Feel free to PM also if ever need someone to talk too.

[A'Villan]

On 09/04/2021 at 00:02, maqroll said:

Global suicide numbers must've skyrocketed over the last year. Grim.

I read some years back that 84 men in the UK commit suicide every week.

A friend of mine attempted suicide week before last, I had to call around the hospitals to locate him, and once I had I went and saw him the following day. To my relief, he was in the psychiatric ward and seemingly whatever had prompted the ideation and attempt had since passed. During the visit he tells me he is to be released the next day, and he explicitly tells me he wanted to stay on at least a few days longer. Me being me, I was speaking to his allocated nurse almost immediately. Long story short, very disappointed with the service.

I gave a presentation to a seminar of managers from Melbourne Health just this Wednesday, where part of my proposal was based on my own experience of a psychiatric ward years ago, the same ward my friend was staying in. What can I say? What did I say? As politely and diplomatically as I could, without negating the severity of the issue, I told them the service was lacking. When I was admitted to the ward, I was made to share a bedroom, which are cell like, as there wasn't enough beds to accommodate, for someone experiencing mental health issues being bunk buddies with a complete stranger who is also experiencing difficulties, has one on edge to say the least. I left that ward feeling my anxieties were exacerbated, and any medication given was just papering over cracks.

I haven't forgotten about following up on my last post in this thread. It's 2am here currently though so next time.

Until then, VT, take care, be kind to life, which you are undoubtedly belonging to, as that will allow life to be kind to you also.

Edited April 22, 2021 by A'Villan

[A'Villan]

On 13/04/2021 at 06:41, Jimzk5 said:

Having my driving license revoked has hit me harder than being told I have a brain tumour today

I've had my 2 kids and it would've been nice to take them out now the zoo and safari park are open

I'm very up and down at the moment, at my best I'm happy to have 2 amazing kids, at my worst I'm depressed that I have this tumour that is taking them away.

I hope this doesn't come across as unappreciative as it's easier for me to say than you to embrace, but you will always be with them, always. You belong to their experience and have shaped who they are.

Lamenting it will only pull you away from the eternal love you share, your two amazing kids, have one very special amazing father. Painful as it is, I wish you the strength to ensure your and their experience remains amazing.

My father broke down crying on the phone to me this week, the turmoil and grief from it all was overwhelming him. We discussed his feelings, I as you can probably guess threw my point of view in, and he has since been upbeat and focused.

Forgive me @Jimzk5, I don't know you, but I am feeling for you, that's all I'm trying to say here.

[Brumerican]

Thanks to a mental health programme my sister got to help me.

[Ingram85]

@Jimzk5 @kurtsimonw @choffer @Mandy Lifeboats @Chindie and to anyone else who has posted in this topic who has been through the ringer a bit. I hope you are all ok and doing well. I don’t always post much but I regularly think about everyone who posts in here and how they are doing. All the best for you.

Edited April 23, 2021 by Ingram85

[choffer]

Thanks @Ingram85 . What’s been most helpful during the last month or so has been friends and family showing they care. The fact that randoms on the internet care too only adds to that. 

As far as the situation with my mum goes, I’m doing much better with it and I think the rest of the family are too. She’s started chemo which might push the inevitable back a bit and we are all focussing on making the next few months as fun-filled as possible, creating memories and supporting each other. 

I know many might think it’s a bit snowflakey but getting some therapy has made a huge difference too. I know it won’t work for everyone and I know many here have experienced it (to varying degrees of success) but if you’re ever feeling low or just need a bit of help working things through, it can be a real boon. We don’t have to manage everything ourselves and asking for help is not a sign of weakness. 

[villan-scott]

I’ve just posted in the house thread but thought I’d drop in here too. Quite often I’ve been a silent reader of this thread. 

I’ve been burying my head in the sand for too long. Over the years we’ve racked up a lot on credit cards and loans, and been in a vicious cycle. We’ve always been able to pay them monthly and still had excess but the debt had been increasing, but more recently and over the last 12 months it’s been getting closer and closer to becoming an unaffordable problem.

I’ve been ashamed and it has taken a toll on my mental health. Sleepless nights worrying about it, I should and do know better but been feeling helpless to do anything about it. The debt prevents us from doing a lot of things as a family. My sister is getting married in Rhodes next year, and as it stands we simply can’t afford to get because of this debt and I refuse to put even more on a card  

This week I’ve spoken to a different mortgage advisor to who looked after us previously. The previous guy wasn’t much use, and just did a product transfer without really addressing our issues. 

We’re 12 months into a 2y fix, and with the increase in property price are able to finally consolidate all the debts and will save us around £700 per month even paying the ERC (current lender won’t go high enough on the LTV for debt con). This is massive. It will be such a huge weight off my shoulders and my mind. I’m vowing to never build the debt up again. And try and save! Whilst, as it stands, having a decent amount of equity in the property, we’d be at about 83% LTV consolidated everything.

I know this is small in comparison to issues discussed in this thread, but it is having a big impact on me and my marriage also. I’m hoping this all goes ahead smoothly as it will transform things for us. 

[maqroll]

18 hours ago, villan-scott said:

I know this is small in comparison to issues discussed in this thread, but it is having a big impact on me and my marriage

Then it is not small in comparison. Everyone's experience is unique and nobody's experience is "less" than anyone else's. Only we can walk in our shoes and it's not a cake walk, even for the most "successful" people who look like they have it made in the shade. Gary Speed comes to mind. Great career, nice house, lovely family. 

I think the best way to handle each day is to try to carve out small moments of enjoyment or love or fun throughout the day if possible. Sleep is like gold dust, too. A break from your mind and the relentlessness of angst. You (all of us) have to keep facing life.

 

Edited April 26, 2021 by maqroll

[Mandy Lifeboats]

On 25/04/2021 at 08:56, villan-scott said:

 

I’ve been ashamed and it has taken a toll on my mental health. Sleepless nights worrying about it, I should and do know better but been feeling helpless to do anything about it. The debt prevents us from doing a lot of things as a family. My sister is getting married in Rhodes next year, and as it stands we simply can’t afford to get because of this debt and I refuse to put even more on a card  

I know this is small in comparison to issues discussed in this thread, but it is having a big impact on me and my marriage also. I’m hoping this all goes ahead smoothly as it will transform things for us. 

You have recognised that there is a problem and admitted it to yourself and others.  That’s a big step.   I am no expert on debt matters but many clients tells me that the Money Advice Service is a very good starting point.  0800 138 7777.  It sounds like you are suffering from a short term problem which should hopefully resolve itself as your money problems resolve itself.  I hope that’s the case and it sounds like you are already on the road to recovery.    If you just want to share how you are feeling you can always post on here or drop my a private message.  It might help.  It might not.  But its worth a try.  Almost all of us have some form of mental health problem at some stage in our of life.  

[rjw63]

On 23/04/2021 at 12:06, Brumerican said:

Thanks to a mental health programme my sister got to help me.

Where have you been then?

[Brumerican]

Just now, rjw63 said:

Where have you been then?

Cambridge way.

[rjw63]

Just now, Brumerican said:

Cambridge way.

Sounds better than Brum to be honest!

[Brumerican]

Just now, rjw63 said:

Sounds better than Brum to be honest!

Not if you don't know anybody and you're starting life at the bottom again. Without a support network here I'm as good as dead anyway.

[rjw63]

Just now, Brumerican said:

Not if you don't know anybody and you're starting life at the bottom again. Without a support network here I'm as good as dead anyway.

Fair enough, welcome back in that case

[Brumerican]

Just now, rjw63 said:

Fair enough, welcome back in that case

A couple of weeks yet. 

First thing I plan on doing is getting on the 11 and doing a lap for no reason whatsoever.

[Ingram85]

Where abouts in Brum you coming back to chap? I always thought you were in that there ‘murica? 

[lapal_fan]

27 minutes ago, Brumerican said:

A couple of weeks yet. 

First thing I plan on doing is getting on the 11 and doing a lap for no reason whatsoever.

[Brumerican]

Just now, Ingram85 said:

Where abouts in Brum you coming back to chap? I always thought you were in that there ‘murica? 

I'm as Brummy as it gets dude. I believe the house share is near the Yenton so practically Wylde Green,  which is basically Sutton so you may as well say 4 Oaks,

[Brumerican]

Just now, lapal_fan said:

Only as a passenger so relax.

[lapal_fan]

2 minutes ago, Brumerican said:

Only as a passenger so relax.