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Things that piss you off that shouldn't


theunderstudy

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15 hours ago, HanoiVillan said:

Check out these office-gym-finance-positivity bros!:

WHAT IS IT LIKE TO WORK HERE?

PLEDGE

Every employee who joins takes a pledge to celebrate the health conscious while they work here and for the rest of their life.

GYM AS FLOOR PLAN

We don't have a pool table. Instead we have a gym in the middle of our office. Not in a side room, not in a corner, it is right in the middle of the entire office.

Our conference room is made up of 4 treadmill desks that face each other so you can do a walking meeting while seeing a presentation, rain or shine.

:snip:

Insufferable nonsense. I'll rewrite it for them "Words removed looking for a complete word removed to join a team of absolute words removed."

I hope it's not real. 

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15 hours ago, HanoiVillan said:

Check out these office-gym-finance-positivity bros!:

That's almost beyond parody.

I think you could take that and easily work it into an SNL sketch without changing many words.

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15 hours ago, HanoiVillan said:

Check out these office-gym-finance-positivity bros!:

WHAT IS IT LIKE TO WORK HERE?

WORK HARD, PLAY HARD

We work a lot of hours since this is a startup. However, we all leave at 5pm/6pm so we can go to the gym, eat dinner at a healthy hour, and see our kids before they goto sleep. After 8pm/9pm we get back on the computer and do conference calls if needed.

 

This sounds ridiculous and where exactly is the 'play' here? 'It's more like work, doing normal things normal people do, and then more work'

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Bet that office stinks of stale sweat and testosterone.

i’m not a massive fan of gyms but even if I were a gym bunny I wouldn’t want to combine that with the Work place.

it’s as ridiculous and impractical  as it sounds (so i’m expecting it to catch on over here very soon!)

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35 minutes ago, theboyangel said:

Bet that office stinks of stale sweat and testosterone.

i’m not a massive fan of gyms but even if I were a gym bunny I wouldn’t want to combine that with the Work place.

it’s as ridiculous and impractical  as it sounds (so i’m expecting it to catch on over here very soon!)

They probably squeeze the sweat from their towels in a large glass and all have a swig from it. I got nothing against people who go to the gym, me I just stay fit working. 'Gym junkies' are like a religion though, it's like they think I'm lying on the couch with my beer and bag of chips waiting to be saved from my hell!

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17 hours ago, HanoiVillan said:

Check out these office-gym-finance-positivity bros!:

WHAT IS IT LIKE TO WORK HERE?

PLEDGE

Every employee who joins takes a pledge to celebrate the health conscious while they work here and for the rest of their life.

GYM AS FLOOR PLAN

We don't have a pool table. Instead we have a gym in the middle of our office. Not in a side room, not in a corner, it is right in the middle of the entire office.

Our conference room is made up of 4 treadmill desks that face each other so you can do a walking meeting while seeing a presentation, rain or shine.

NO SUGAR

We don't have sugar, candy bars, soda (diet or otherwise) in our office. If you bring some it will get thrown away.

COHESIVE HUDDLE

We do a daily standup where we don't discuss why something is late. Instead we each spend 10 seconds on what we actually shipped today. Again, we believe you can get more from people from focusing on those who take responsibility than those who don't.

FEATS OF STRENGTH

We end most standups with a feats of strengths competition. Our current record wall sit time is 5 minutes.

WORK HARD, PLAY HARD

We work a lot of hours since this is a startup. However, we all leave at 5pm/6pm so we can go to the gym, eat dinner at a healthy hour, and see our kids before they goto sleep. After 8pm/9pm we get back on the computer and do conference calls if needed.

ON TOP OF OUR GAME

We share health articles and health stats and think it is fun not annoying.

Our monthly company outings are always new exercises we haven't all tried before. Recent activities include: Zumba, Bubble Soccer, Crossfit, Bikram Yoga, Rock Climbing, etc.

WHAT DO WE LOOK FOR?

Three qualities embodied by every member of our team:

HEALTH CONSCIOUSNESS

A personal or family health story that tells us that you really care about this mission. If you read the current team's bios you will see that each of us has been touched by a personal or family health challenge. Most of us used this challenge to change our health destiny and improve our health. We look for that same level of mission alignment in candidates we meet.

SUCCESS

A track record of success. We believe winners have always won. All candidates will be asked to submit a 'brag sheet' as part of our interview process. This is a listing of every accomplishment you've ever had. If you won the spelling bee in the 2nd grade we want to know about it, etc. We will look at your brag sheet even more than your resume. We believe too many people have only had success by association. Their resumes say they went to Stanford, worked at Google, Uber, etc but it is unclear what they really contributed or accomplished at these places. We want the people who have success by action not just association.

OPTIMISM

There is little need for a devil's advocates at a startup. The whole rest of the world is fighting against you. The inside of a startup should be a bastion of hope and optimism. If you are kind of a curmudgeon this is probably not the place for you.

https://www.healthiq.com/careers

Based on their dialogue saying, 'home in time to see the kids before' as their last priority, I hope none of them become parents. Poor kids.

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2 minutes ago, RunRickyRun said:

The BBC's athletics coverage. Is there another sport where pictures of the actual live event are given second preference to showing four people sitting around a table discussing the events?

Especially when Clare Balding is involved...

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The fact that choffer's choice of John Phillips' "The Wolf King of L.A.", immediately followed by my choice of Bob Dylan's "Desire", in the "What Album Are You Listening To" thread, was immediately lost to the curse of the page break. 

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12 minutes ago, mjmooney said:

The fact that choffer's choice of John Phillips' "The Wolf King of L.A.", immediately followed by my choice of Bob Dylan's "Desire", in the "What Album Are You Listening To" thread, was immediately lost to the curse of the page break. 

Suggest we regroup and try again in the morning, moonman.

 

We go again.

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My lock (front door) broke, luckily I have a replacement - but realised I needed some bigger screws, which I didn’t have. Called the local hardware store. No answer - which is fine - must be closed (Google doesn’t have opening hours). Two minutes ago get a call from that number and the man berates me for calling on a Sunday.

I told him to put his **** opening hours on google. What a prick. 

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36 minutes ago, Dick said:

My lock (front door) broke, luckily I have a replacement - but realised I needed some bigger screws, which I didn’t have. Called the local hardware store. No answer - which is fine - must be closed (Google doesn’t have opening hours). Two minutes ago get a call from that number and the man berates me for calling on a Sunday.

I told him to put his **** opening hours on google. What a prick. 

Don't forget to call him back every 10 minutes, just to see if he's open yet.

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At the risk of being mildly ridiculed on here, I want to moan about dating sites.....in particular women who put up plenty of photos on their profile but 75% of them are of their pets, favourite holiday destinations or inspirational sayings. I want to see what SHE looks like not her cockapoodle mutt !

Also, photos of them wearing their wedding rings or celebrating a milestone birthday that was obviously years ago judging by their current age !

Yes, you ARE right; I've hit a dry run recently, so to speak ;)

Edited by mottaloo
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12 minutes ago, mottaloo said:

At the risk of being mildly ridiculed on here, I want to moan about dating sites.....in particular women who put up plenty of photos on their profile but 75% of them are of their pets, favourite holiday destinations or inspirational sayings. 

Surely, the information above is all you need to make a fair assessment.

 

I just stick to reading the lesbian lonely hearts ads in the Observer.

 

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