Xann Posted September 18, 2017 Share Posted September 18, 2017 Well done. Shouldn't that be ... 7 minutes ago, mjmooney said: 35th wedding anniversary today. ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted September 18, 2017 VT Supporter Share Posted September 18, 2017 40 minutes ago, Xann said: Well done. Shouldn't that be ... ? Maybe... or... I'll go with 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted September 18, 2017 Share Posted September 18, 2017 58 minutes ago, mjmooney said: 35th wedding anniversary today. Congrats! It was my parents 43rd on Saturday. I struggle liking someone for more than a month! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted September 18, 2017 VT Supporter Share Posted September 18, 2017 20 minutes ago, Xela said: Congrats! It was my parents 43rd on Saturday. I struggle liking someone for more than a month! Who said anything about 'liking'? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisvilla4 Posted October 1, 2017 Share Posted October 1, 2017 Ok. So I'm now single after being married for 13 years and with the same woman since I was 20. It became obvious (probably more on reflection) that I didn't love her that way so we finished. I suffered from PTSD which lead me to having an affair with a woman who had her own issues so I guess we both thought we would be good for each other. The affair is over and I'm moving on as is my (ex) wife. Obviously my wife found out (maybe subconsciously I wanted her too?) and was devastated we did try to get back on track but it became more apparent that the feelings had gone from my end (although I still love her,confusing!) Although I regret the affair as the guilt is enormous and I wish I hadn't tarnished all those years together and hurt my wife, it did bring my feelings (both with regards to my mental health and towards my wife) to a head. So I guess there is a positive there somewhere. We have a son together and telling him I was leaving was one of the worst things I've ever done but I see him regular (5 times a week on average) and he's doing ok so far which is the most important thing I don't know what the point of this post is other than getting it out there I suppose. Other than that I do feel "free" and less pressured and am dipping my toe in the dating pond which is probably another story. What I would say is for anyone considering an affair don't do it. If you have urges to then there's obviously something missing that needs resolving and although difficult there's better ways of doing things Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StefanAVFC Posted October 1, 2017 Share Posted October 1, 2017 1 hour ago, chrisvilla4 said: Ok. So I'm now single after being married for 13 years and with the same woman since I was 20. It became obvious (probably more on reflection) that I didn't love her that way so we finished. I suffered from PTSD which lead me to having an affair with a woman who had her own issues so I guess we both thought we would be good for each other. The affair is over and I'm moving on as is my (ex) wife. Obviously my wife found out (maybe subconsciously I wanted her too?) and was devastated we did try to get back on track but it became more apparent that the feelings had gone from my end (although I still love her,confusing!) Although I regret the affair as the guilt is enormous and I wish I hadn't tarnished all those years together and hurt my wife, it did bring my feelings (both with regards to my mental health and towards my wife) to a head. So I guess there is a positive there somewhere. We have a son together and telling him I was leaving was one of the worst things I've ever done but I see him regular (5 times a week on average) and he's doing ok so far which is the most important thing I don't know what the point of this post is other than getting it out there I suppose. Other than that I do feel "free" and less pressured and am dipping my toe in the dating pond which is probably another story. What I would say is for anyone considering an affair don't do it. If you have urges to then there's obviously something missing that needs resolving and although difficult there's better ways of doing things Sorry to read all of that mate. I hope it works itself out. I'm recently single (only 3 years though, not 13) and one of the things I was looking forward to was that feeling of freedom but I dislike it. Another thing I wanted to add, but I'm on the other side of your situation at the moment. I'm 'meeting up' (for want of a better term) with a girl in a long term relationship, who live together. It's a pretty messed up situation. Nothing I could write down would explain it well so I'm going to leave it at that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisvilla4 Posted October 1, 2017 Share Posted October 1, 2017 Cheers 1 hour ago, StefanAVFC said: Sorry to read all of that mate. I hope it works itself out. I'm recently single (only 3 years though, not 13) and one of the things I was looking forward to was that feeling of freedom but I dislike it. Another thing I wanted to add, but I'm on the other side of your situation at the moment. I'm 'meeting up' (for want of a better term) with a girl in a long term relationship, who live together. It's a pretty messed up situation. Nothing I could write down would explain it well so I'm going to leave it at that. Cheers Stefan, make sure you look after yourself. Being single is weird but it's worth having time to reflect and figure out what you want/like before jumping in again (says me!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted October 1, 2017 Share Posted October 1, 2017 Perhaps i'm wired a different way, but I value my own time and solitude. Perhaps it is because i'm an only child but I have no issue with being single. Don't get me wrong, if the right lady came along, then great, but I don't have a desperate need to be in a relationship. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted October 1, 2017 Share Posted October 1, 2017 2 hours ago, Xela said: Perhaps i'm wired a different way, but I value my own time and solitude. Perhaps it is because i'm an only child but I have no issue with being single. Don't get me wrong, if the right lady came along, then great, but I don't have a desperate need to be in a relationship. I was like that up until 27. I enjoy my own company and like time alone. Probably stems from being only child where I used to have to keep myself company. Don't get these people that need to be in a relationship and anyone will do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisvilla4 Posted October 1, 2017 Share Posted October 1, 2017 (edited) I have to say friends have seen me and asked if I'm ok etc and probably worried how I'd be coming out of a long term relationship but I'm enjoying being single and feel quite free- obviously I have my son as my number 1 priority but am enjoying time alone alongside casual dating. Edited October 1, 2017 by chrisvilla4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted October 1, 2017 Share Posted October 1, 2017 A few guys who I work with are single and in Tinder etc, I'm so glad to be out of all that. They show me all these pretty fit looking women clearly using it (and Instagram) to basically feed their own ego's. 25 selfies a day. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StefanAVFC Posted October 1, 2017 Share Posted October 1, 2017 yeah it's super fake It's what makes my current situation with this taken girl so much worse. It isn't fake in the slightest. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted October 1, 2017 VT Supporter Share Posted October 1, 2017 3 hours ago, Xela said: Perhaps i'm wired a different way, but I value my own time and solitude. Perhaps it is because i'm an only child but I have no issue with being single. Don't get me wrong, if the right lady came along, then great, but I don't have a desperate need to be in a relationship. I'm the same even in a relationship. I live with my OH, and I love her to bits. But I crave time alone sometimes. It's not that I don't like spending time with her, I just want to be by myself sometimes. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisvilla4 Posted October 1, 2017 Share Posted October 1, 2017 There is a lot to be said about time alone. That's the one thing I rarely got in my last relationship and I craved it. I've not used Tinder. Have to be careful about my online presence because of the work I do but I hate the black and white of that. I prefer to meet people face to face rather than online stuff personality means a lot to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted October 1, 2017 Share Posted October 1, 2017 1 hour ago, Genie said: A few guys who I work with are single and in Tinder etc, I'm so glad to be out of all that. They show me all these pretty fit looking women clearly using it (and Instagram) to basically feed their own ego's. 25 selfies a day. I wouldn't even consider dating a girl who was obsessed with her social media 'presence'. Definite red flag. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted October 1, 2017 Share Posted October 1, 2017 (edited) 1 hour ago, StefanAVFC said: yeah it's super fake It's what makes my current situation with this taken girl so much worse. It isn't fake in the slightest. You need to stop seeing this girl or she needs to end it with the other poor sap. Edited October 1, 2017 by Ingram85 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted October 1, 2017 Share Posted October 1, 2017 18 minutes ago, Xela said: I wouldn't even consider dating a girl who was obsessed with her social media 'presence'. Definite red flag. Yeah, my mates have showed me a couple of absolute worldies in terms of looks who work at our place and are apparently single using apps to meet people... Seems like they're trying to bag a footballer or other millionaire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Albrighton Posted October 1, 2017 VT Supporter Share Posted October 1, 2017 The ex and I had another massive row the other week and she’s subsequently moved out to stay with her sister for the time being. Still seeing my daughter 4/5 days a week (during the day), but now I have my evenings and more of my weekends free. As such I’m spending a lot more time by myself and I’d forgotten how great it is. I’ve found that I very much like to have things my way around the house. I’d like to meet someone one day but at the same time I feel a bit jaded at the moment and can’t work up much enthusiasm, which I guess is likely to be expected. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StefanAVFC Posted October 1, 2017 Share Posted October 1, 2017 6 hours ago, Ingram85 said: You need to stop seeing this girl or she needs to end it with the other poor sap. We both know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mottaloo Posted October 4, 2017 Share Posted October 4, 2017 The latest woman to wink at me on match.com.....a snapshot of her profile. Height....weight.....diet. Says it all PS - i said no thanks, by the way ! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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