MakemineVanilla Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 I didn't talk about it with her, just went through a bad patch where it was all going to pot then called it. There's no rose tinted glasses with hindsight, believe me. So why the regret? Hmm. That's a bit more personal than I'd like to go for on a public forum I'm afraid I totally respect that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lloydxmas Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 (edited) . Edited July 20, 2015 by simont123 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 If you see any future in your relationship you need to talk to her about her trust issues. Alternatively put a passcode on your phone and change your FB login! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 Not that I know Simon's missus in the slightest, but from what he's said about her I think changing his passcode would just make things worse. She'd think he has something to hide and her trust issues may kick into overdrive. If it were me, I'd sit her down, try to remain as calm as possible and tell her you need to talk and you need her to just listen, because if she gets hysterical and makes it impossible for you to air you grievances then there's nothing you can do to fix it and there's a very good chance that could be the end of your relationship. If she won't listen to reason and let you talk to her about it then walk away and tell her you'll try again later when she's calmed down. If she does it again and you really feel like you're at your wits end then that's the time to end things. That's what I'd do anyway. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 True, I see what you are saying but she doesn't trust him anyway even though she has access to his phone and facebook. That is something I could never allow, someone snooping on me like that. Even though I would have nothing to hide! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 (edited) we are here a for only a short while somebody in their 20's has probably already had 25% of their time, whilst I'm an advocate of loyalty and monogomy and marriage and all that, there is no point in being unhappy during your brief little spin around our sun Edited July 4, 2015 by chrisp65 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MakemineVanilla Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 True, I see what you are saying but she doesn't trust him anyway even though she has access to his phone and facebook. That is something I could never allow, someone snooping on me like that. Even though I would have nothing to hide! I would just see it as removing the temptation to snoop and there is certainly no way anyone should need to ask permission for privacy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 I just think that's a short-term fix for his privacy (which as MMV says shouldn't even be a thing) rather than a fix for the bigger problem which is her trust issues, that and it's likely to make the bigger problem even worse, He needs to talk to her, calmly and rationally and I think she needs to accept that she needs professional help. Living the way she does must be exhausting and infuriating for her, let alone the people closest to her. If she won't do it for herself, she should do it for them. It doesn't make her crazy, everyone needs a helping hand every now and again. Simon, ask her if she's truly happy being the way she is. I don't think anyone could be, so why wouldn't anyone seek out help if there's a chance they could improve their lives for themselves as well as their loved ones? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 Donkey punch her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 Donkey punch her. I hope your future wife doesn't read this forum 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vive_La_Villa Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 Delete your Facebook account. No good can ever come of it once married. Trust me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 Donkey punch her.I hope your future wife doesn't read this forum She's worse than me, she told me what an Arctic pipeline was. And strawberry cheesecake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 Donkey punch her.I hope your future wife doesn't read this forum She's worse than me, she told me what an Arctic pipeline was. And strawberry cheesecake. No wonder you love her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leemond2008 Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 There is a bird who I was proper close to, she was a real good friend, we would spend hours on the phone to each other at times, it ends up she was gagging for a leemond injection, I told her that she couldnt handle the leemond, the next day (literally the next day) she went out and found herself a bloke, as far as I know they have been together for a month and he's already moved in with her. now that is fine with me but all of a sudden all contact has been broke, its almost as if she's not allowed to speak to me, i'm gunna have it out with her on Monday. It all just seems a little odd that now she's with this dude she can't speak to me outside of work Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meath_Villan Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 Donkey punch her. I hope your future wife doesn't read this forum She's worse than me, she told me what an Arctic pipeline was. And strawberry cheesecake. No wonder you love her I had to google them ......Arctic pipeline ....why ....just why Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PompeyVillan Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 I couldn't deal with those trust issues. I have literally nothing to hide in my relationship, but I couldn't deal with somebody not trusting me and going through my phone and stuff. I can understand how that would get irritating. Agreed, the thought of someone constantly going through my phone, checking messages, deleting people off my facebook and snooping on my internet history is unfathomable to me. I can't see how you would allow that situation to happen over the years? yeah the Facebook thing was the final straw for me. Just began to notice that girls i accepted all of a sudden appeared in my 'add to friends' list. Assumed they just deleted me, until i checked my activity log one day and it turns out someone other than me had been doing it. Mental. I'm not sure what internet history snooping for dirt is going to achieve anyway? No good can come of it whatsoever ! It's the internet version of going to town to look for a fight. I will find it very difficult to intiate the actual conversation though about therapy. I've always had a problem with confrontation and hurting peoples feelings. I think i'm just going to start leaving things like "my gf's insecurity and anxiety is driving us apart" in the history menu. At least this will prompt the start of some serious talks or at least show her that all is not well and she might take action herself. We're off for dinner tonight. Lets see how that goes, hope it's not busy in there Best of luck. I would advocate trying to help her through her issues, but before that can happen she needs to accept that she has issues. Going through your Facebook and Internet is unacceptable and she needs to accept this. Anxiety and mental health issues aside, that is untenable. You have said you love her, so don't give up. Avoiding bringing up issues because of tears and upset is giving up, if you love her like you say, you should front up the issues an she will tell you truthfully what you can do to help improve your relationship too. You may be at the point of no return, I don't know. It doesn't sound like it to me, give it a shot and tell her what is at stake. If there is no give after trying very hard to make it work, then at least you tried. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wainy316 Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 Just googled 'Arctic Pipeline' that's the same thing as I've heard called 'Space Docking'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 Donkey punch her.I hope your future wife doesn't read this forum She's worse than me, she told me what an Arctic pipeline was. And strawberry cheesecake.No wonder you love her I had to google them ......Arctic pipeline ....why ....just why me too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
troon_villan Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 Just googled it....ftw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ismail-villa Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 Donkey punch her.I hope your future wife doesn't read this forum [emoji38] She's worse than me, she told me what an Arctic pipeline was. And strawberry cheesecake. You should introduce her to the rainbow kiss. It's disgusting as ****! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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