StefanAVFC Posted May 9, 2018 Share Posted May 9, 2018 Everybody knows that going advert free gives you a 22,000 like starting point 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob182 Posted May 9, 2018 Share Posted May 9, 2018 Pootling along at a steady 25mph as I bring my 1-day old girl and my caesarean-recovering wife home from the hospital, and some div in a blue Golf with a personalised plate zooms past us at 50mph, thinking he’s in Fast and the Furious. A minute later and I slowly pull up behind him at an island, as he waits for the traffic. The traffic clears and, again, he speeds off around the island and into the distance. Two minutes later and I creep up behind him again at a set of traffic lights... and then the next set two minutes later My mom always said “he won’t get there any faster”! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post HanoiVillan Posted May 9, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted May 9, 2018 54 minutes ago, Rob182 said: Pootling along at a steady 25mph as I bring my 1-day old girl and my caesarean-recovering wife home from the hospital, and some div in a blue Golf with a personalised plate zooms past us at 50mph, thinking he’s in Fast and the Furious. A minute later and I slowly pull up behind him at an island, as he waits for the traffic. The traffic clears and, again, he speeds off around the island and into the distance. Two minutes later and I creep up behind him again at a set of traffic lights... and then the next set two minutes later My mom always said “he won’t get there any faster”! I nearly got rammed off the motorway by one of these dickheads two days ago. Tailgating, flashing, the whole works. Then he ended up in a four-junction tailback outside Bristol for an hour along with all the rest of us. I didn't get as much pleasure as I hoped to out of this, and I still hope he dies in an inferno after crashing his car into something explosive. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted May 9, 2018 Share Posted May 9, 2018 4 hours ago, Rob182 said: Pootling along at a steady 25mph as I bring my 1-day old girl and my caesarean-recovering wife home from the hospital, and some div in a blue Golf with a personalised plate zooms past us at 50mph, thinking he’s in Fast and the Furious. A minute later and I slowly pull up behind him at an island, as he waits for the traffic. The traffic clears and, again, he speeds off around the island and into the distance. Two minutes later and I creep up behind him again at a set of traffic lights... and then the next set two minutes later My mom always said “he won’t get there any faster”! Well he got there a few seconds quicker! I was hoping your story would end up with the Golf ending up upside down in a ditch with the fire brigade cutting the driver out. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post lapal_fan Posted May 9, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted May 9, 2018 24 minutes ago, Xela said: Well he got there a few seconds quicker! I was hoping your story would end up with the Golf ending up upside down in a ditch with the fire brigade cutting the driver's ballsack off with his own teeth, before pointing and laughing at his moronic, goofy, greasy face and making a note of his works i.d. badge showing him as a car park trolley assistant at the now extinct netto chain of supermarket, calling him a thick word removed while he desperately tries to take his seatbelt off, begging the fireman not to throw the lit match in his right hand at the growing pool of petrol right next to his Johnson, which obviously the fireman can't hear over his laughter. Fixed. 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ikantcpell Posted May 9, 2018 Share Posted May 9, 2018 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tegis Posted May 10, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted May 10, 2018 What a day!!! Fever free, beer, sun, two birds!! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted May 11, 2018 Share Posted May 11, 2018 On 10/05/2018 at 13:38, Tegis said: What a day!!! Fever free, beer, sun, two birds!! Nice cock 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amsterdam_Neil_D Posted May 11, 2018 Share Posted May 11, 2018 22 minutes ago, Xela said: Nice cock Swapped left leg for poultry shocker. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted May 11, 2018 Share Posted May 11, 2018 15 minutes ago, Amsterdam_Neil_D said: Swapped left leg for poultry shocker. Its just fowl. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theboyangel Posted May 11, 2018 Share Posted May 11, 2018 3 hours ago, Xela said: Its just fowl. For a chicken based pun, that was a poultry offering. Would not bang. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post chrisp65 Posted May 13, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted May 13, 2018 So, yesterday I had a lay in. Got up had coffee and toast out in the garden. Then did nothing much for the morning. Lunchtime a few of us went out for a meal at a BBQ place and I had my absolute fill of the absolute best meat based dishes anywhere. truly outstanding pulled pork (!), brisket, burnt ends, sausage, ham hock, chicken and who knows what else. Then, on my way in to town to watch some footy, had a text that a couple of records had turned up early. Took a diversion and picked them up. On to the footy where I shouted and jumped up and down for an hour watching my home town team get battered, but listening in on Villa winning. Home for a couple more drinks and everyone happy. Today - and utterly un related to the BBQ place yesterday!!!! The toilet had sprung a leak. I've turned it all off, bought some parts in Screwfix, taken everything apart, replaced a flexi pipe and the inlet float thingy. Put it back together and everything **** works!!!! What an absolute man's weekend. 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wazzap24 Posted May 14, 2018 Share Posted May 14, 2018 'Gammon' Never in a month of Sunday's did I think that word would provide hours of social media hilarity, but it has. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted May 14, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted May 14, 2018 26 minutes ago, wazzap24 said: 'Gammon' Never in a month of Sunday's did I think that word would provide hours of social media hilarity, but it has. It has? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ikantcpell Posted May 14, 2018 Share Posted May 14, 2018 (edited) edited Edited May 14, 2018 by Ikantcpell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ikantcpell Posted May 14, 2018 Share Posted May 14, 2018 (edited) edited Edited May 14, 2018 by Ikantcpell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ikantcpell Posted May 14, 2018 Share Posted May 14, 2018 (edited) edited Edited May 14, 2018 by Ikantcpell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ikantcpell Posted May 14, 2018 Share Posted May 14, 2018 (edited) edited Edited May 14, 2018 by Ikantcpell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ikantcpell Posted May 14, 2018 Share Posted May 14, 2018 My cousin just asked his 6 year old son why he is so smudgy around his face and he said"That is only casue Anna sat on my face" My cousin spat his coffee out 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Albrighton Posted May 14, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted May 14, 2018 (edited) 1 hour ago, mjmooney said: It has? Basically it’s a debate about whether it’s politically correct to describe faces like this as “gammon”. Edit - delighted that this post hasn’t duplicated several times for obvious reasons Edited May 14, 2018 by Shropshire Lad 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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