General Chat

[Xela]

26 minutes ago, sidcow said:

Currently got about 20, seventeen year old girls in prom dresses in my garden.

[Phil Silvers]

18 minutes ago, Kuwabatake Sanjuro said:

The Gaelic football on sky sports arena is worth watching at the moment. All Ireland semi final gone into extra time, Dublin in big danger of losing for the 1st time in 7 years.

This wasn't even a free either.

 

Watching after u posted this, never watched it before, its mental. 

[Kuwabatake Sanjuro]

32 minutes ago, Phil Silvers said:

Watching after u posted this, never watched it before, its mental. 

Wasn't a high quality game of football but was fascinating seeing Dublin who for the past number of years were invincible and always in control completely implode and lose their heads. 

[sidcow]

Just had our first puker. 

Question.  Did he choose a quiet spot in the garden or did he come in the house and throw up all over the worktop in the utility? 

Answers on a post card. 

[Xela]

I'm having a quiet night in, listening to podcasts, while @sidcow has the Inbetweeners in his house. 

 

[chrisp65]

 

[sidcow]

33 minutes ago, Xela said:

I'm having a quiet night in, listening to podcasts, while @sidcow has the Inbetweeners in his house. 

 

The antics I've been witnessing.  How some of the lads haven't knocked teeth out or got accidentally bottled twatting about playfighting. 

Every balloon in the big displays have been trashed.  I wisely took all the weights off them because as predicted they've been picking up the balloon towers and whacking each other with them. 

I've heard scum. songs being sung in my garden.  That was a moment I can tell you. 

Mrs Sidcow said weren't you like this at that age and after considering it my answer was no.  The lads have been hanging out in their own group being generally twattish almost ignoring the girls till only just now really.  In my day we would have spent the whole time trying to get off with the girls. 

 

Edited August 14, 2021 by sidcow

[Xela]

While people watching sitting in my car yesterday, enjoying my chai latte (deal with it haters), I've come to the conclusion that modern day cars are just far too big. They're about 50% bigger than they were 20 years ago. 

Watching women barely 5ft tall trying to park their extra large Kia/Hyundai/Nissan/Vauxhall SUV with all the grace of a drunk Romanian trucker navigating the narrow cobbled streets of a Costwold village. I don't why anyone needs a Vauxhall Grandland, as it seems to be the size of my Nan's old static caravan in Bewdley and twice as ugly. The blokes aren't much better either, parking far too close to other cars then having to slide out of the door like Stretch Armstrong.

Luckily, while I currently resemble a portly Charles Manson, people avoid parking next to me when i'm in my car. Small mercies. 

 

[mjmooney]

9 hours ago, sidcow said:

Mrs Sidcow said weren't you like this at that age and after considering it my answer was no.  The lads have been hanging out in their own group being generally twattish almost ignoring the girls till only just now really.  In my day we would have spent the whole time trying to get off with the girls. 

Nah. Twas ever thus. The lads brag to each other while getting sufficiently tanked up to pluck up the bravado to approach the girls. By the time they've taken on enough Dutch courage they're too pissed anyway. 

It's a story as old as time. 

Edited August 15, 2021 by mjmooney

[sidcow]

1 hour ago, sidcow said:

Just had our first puker. 

Question.  Did he choose a quiet spot in the garden or did he come in the house and throw up all over the worktop in the utility? 

Answers on a post card. 

Right they've all **** off now.  Never ever again. 

Update on puker.  He was in the utility room toilet for at least 20 minutes, then moved to sit on a step on the patio outside.  He was given a bucket.  Did he then puke in the bucket? Did he bollocks. He puked to the side of the bucket all over the patio.  

Just poured myself a beer. 

[Seat68]

4 hours ago, sidcow said:

Right they've all **** off now.  Never ever again. 

Update on puker.  He was in the utility room toilet for at least 20 minutes, then moved to sit on a step on the patio outside.  He was given a bucket.  Did he then puke in the bucket? Did he bollocks. He puked to the side of the bucket all over the patio.  

Just poured myself a beer. 

I was that puker. 15 years old and the day of the grand national, west tip was the winner. I went to a party and shotgunned Special Brew. I puked and continued to puke all night. I was carried home and to check if I was still alive my mates kept asking me who had won the national. At my nans they put me on the door step, knocked and ran. I obviously haven't touched special brew since, and why would I. I can't recall throwing up from alcohol since either. 

[mjmooney]

8 hours ago, sidcow said:

Right they've all **** off now.  Never ever again. 

Update on puker.  He was in the utility room toilet for at least 20 minutes, then moved to sit on a step on the patio outside.  He was given a bucket.  Did he then puke in the bucket? Did he bollocks. He puked to the side of the bucket all over the patio.  

Just poured myself a beer. 

When my parents had their 25th wedding anniversary they had a party at my auntie's house (as our flat was too small). I was about 17 at the time. They insisted on inviting a few of my mates, despite my warnings that this was not a good idea. Long story short, much booze was necked. One of said mates had to be extricated from near-sex with a (slightly) older married woman, another was so pissed we had to get him out of there (carried by arms and legs). Our designated driver took us back to another parents' house (they were out). We dumped the drunk lad on the sofa and carried on drinking. After a while, he leaned over the edge of the sofa and puked copiously. But by a sheer miracle, there happened to be an empty shoe box in just the right place to catch the torrent of vomit. He staggered into the kitchen to get a glass of water, while we all marvelled at the incredible stroke of luck that had saved the carpet. At this point, we heard him throwing up again, in the kitchen. Right into an open (and full) cutlery drawer. Oh how we laughed. 

[chrisp65]

When I was a kid I got all the way home without puking.

Key in the lock, just about holding it…

Up the stairs, I’ve mentally relaxed and the physics it beginning to kick in… I will be sick in 5…4…3…

Burst open the bathroom door at the same time as beginning a projectile vomit in the direction of the toilet…

My mum was on the loo.

 

 

[Xela]

I was a regular puker as a teenager and in my early twenties. Sometimes i'd need to have a tactical puke on a night out when I felt things go a bit gurgly in my stomach. Head down the bog, empty my stomach, a few smints and then back onto the JD and coke.  

Also my Dad, bless him, always used to leave the puke bucket by the side of my bed when I used to go out. I'd get home, go into my room and there it was - a big green bucket with a hand towel next to it! It was used more than a few times. 

[bickster]

22 minutes ago, mjmooney said:

When my parents had their 25th wedding anniversary they had a party at my auntie's house (as our flat was too small). I was about 17 at the time. They insisted on inviting a few of my mates, despite my warnings that this was not a good idea. Long story short, much booze was necked. One of said mates had to be extricated from near-sex with a (slightly) older married woman, another was so pissed we had to get him out of there (carried by arms and legs). Our designated driver took us back to another parents' house (they were out). We dumped the drunk lad on the sofa and carried on drinking. After a while, he leaned over the edge of the sofa and puked copiously. But by a sheer miracle, there happened to be an empty shoe box in just the right place to catch the torrent of vomit. He staggered into the kitchen to get a glass of water, while we all marvelled at the incredible stroke of luck that had saved the carpet. At this point, we heard him throwing up again, in the kitchen. Right into an open (and full) cutlery drawer. Oh how we laughed. 

That drink for me is Southern Comfort

[Genie]

@sidcow you’re far braver than me! 

[mjmooney]

33 minutes ago, bickster said:

That drink for me is Southern Comfort

I have two 'aversion therapy' drinks: Jack Daniels (or any bourbon-type whiskey) and Bacardi (although oddly enough dark rum is OK). 

[sidcow]

21 minutes ago, Genie said:

@sidcow you’re far braver than me! 

Apparently she said to Mrs Sidcow after everyone had gone that she'd want to something similar for her birthday.  She was told absolutely NO! 

[sidcow]

1 hour ago, mjmooney said:

When my parents had their 25th wedding anniversary they had a party at my auntie's house (as our flat was too small). I was about 17 at the time. They insisted on inviting a few of my mates, despite my warnings that this was not a good idea. Long story short, much booze was necked. One of said mates had to be extricated from near-sex with a (slightly) older married woman, another was so pissed we had to get him out of there (carried by arms and legs). Our designated driver took us back to another parents' house (they were out). We dumped the drunk lad on the sofa and carried on drinking. After a while, he leaned over the edge of the sofa and puked copiously. But by a sheer miracle, there happened to be an empty shoe box in just the right place to catch the torrent of vomit. He staggered into the kitchen to get a glass of water, while we all marvelled at the incredible stroke of luck that had saved the carpet. At this point, we heard him throwing up again, in the kitchen. Right into an open (and full) cutlery drawer. Oh how we laughed. 

A friend of mine once projectile vomited in my parents kitchen. He put his hand over his mouth and it fountained everywhere. 

We spent hours cleaning it up from every nook and cranny. We were certain we'd got it all up. 

Monday morning my dad goes to put his work shoes on and explodes when he finds them full of dried vomit. Those suckers were on he far side of the room I swear that stuff somehow shot 15ft. 

[Brumerican]

16 minutes ago, Xela said:

I was a regular puker as a teenager and in my early twenties. Sometimes i'd need to have a tactical puke on a night out

There were times in the Army where we'd wobble home from town at 5.30am and have to be on PT at 7am .  Tactical puking was part of my working day for a while. 

This was pretty much everyone during the warm up.