Popular Post Genie Posted June 13, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted June 13, 2020 When you see the cropping tool it’s gonna blow your mind 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 Mate of mine is a brummie chef ,I asked him what his favourite rice was. He answered...tour de France. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted June 14, 2020 Share Posted June 14, 2020 I couldn't get to town yesterday to protest So I popped next door and kicked their gnomes over Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted June 21, 2020 Share Posted June 21, 2020 My neighbour with the big boobs has been walking up and down the garden topless all day. Just wish his wife would do the same. 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted June 21, 2020 Share Posted June 21, 2020 What is the first thing a battered wife does when she gets home from hospital? Dinner and the laundry if she's got any sense. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted June 21, 2020 Share Posted June 21, 2020 I came across my ex on a bus yesterday. She didn't even notice it was me sat behind her. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ferguson1 Posted June 21, 2020 Share Posted June 21, 2020 Thanks for all your messages! First of all, I'm fine - or I will be soon. I had nasty accident today but I'm ok. I went horse riding and let's just say it didn't end up quite as planned. I got on the horse ok and started out slowly but he started to speed up and we were going faster than I was comfortable with until we were going as fast as the horse could go! Have to admit I was terrified!! Then the worst thing ever happened - I fell off and caught my foot in the stirrup and the horse was dragging me around in a circle. It wouldn't stop, it just kept going around and around. Thank God for the staff at Tesco's that came out and unplugged the carousel. Just some bruising. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post PussEKatt Posted June 25, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted June 25, 2020 The police find a 12 year old boy wandering the streets and tell him they are going to take him home to his mother. Boy: My mum and dad are split up and my mother beats me. Police: Ok we will take to your dads place then. Boy: I cant go there, my dad beats me as well. Police:Ok then we will take you to your grandmothers place. Boy: No thats no good she beats me as well/ So the police take him back to the station and ask the captain what they should do about he boy. Captain: Take him to AVFC, they cant beat anybody. 2 1 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted June 26, 2020 Share Posted June 26, 2020 On 21/06/2020 at 13:24, rjw63 said: What is the first thing a battered wife does when she gets home from hospital? Dinner and the laundry if she's got any sense. Very similar to this: What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
il_serpente Posted June 26, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted June 26, 2020 Another similar one: Q: What do 10,000 battered women have in common? A: They just don't know how to **** listen! I'm going to hell, aren't I? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Stevo985 Posted June 27, 2020 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted June 27, 2020 Well this page got very Jim Davidson 4 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post mjmooney Posted June 28, 2020 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted June 28, 2020 Did you know the actor Yul Brynner was a lifelong Liverpool fan,and never used aftershave? It's true - Yul never wore cologne. 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blandy Posted June 28, 2020 Moderator Share Posted June 28, 2020 4 minutes ago, mjmooney said: Did you know the actor Yul Brynner was a lifelong Liverpool fan,and never used aftershave? It's true - Yul never wore cologne. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 16 hours ago, Stevo985 said: Well this page got very Jim Davidson 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted July 3, 2020 Share Posted July 3, 2020 I was in a pub in Saturday night when this really brutally ugly girl came up to me, squeezed my arse and said "Give me your number, sexy". I replied "Have you got a pen?" She smiled and said "Yes". I replied, "Well you better get back to it, before the farmer notices you're missing". 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted July 3, 2020 Share Posted July 3, 2020 I can tell just by the shoes a woman wears if I'm going to have sex with her or not. If she's wearing 3" heels or higher, I'm definitely going to be screwing her. If she's wearing nice comfy running shoes, I'm probably not going to be able to get close enough to use the taser. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted July 8, 2020 Share Posted July 8, 2020 Just been to Tesco’s where I swapped 50 raisins for 100 sultanas. I can’t believe the currant exchange rate. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theboyangel Posted July 8, 2020 Share Posted July 8, 2020 13 hours ago, Genie said: Just been to Tesco’s where I swapped 50 raisins for 100 sultanas. I can’t believe the currant exchange rate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
il_serpente Posted July 10, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted July 10, 2020 Q: What do you get when you cross human DNA with goat DNA? A; You get kicked the hell out of the petting zoo. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
il_serpente Posted July 10, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted July 10, 2020 Q: What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? A: The taste. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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