Popular Post claretman Posted August 10, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted August 10, 2013 A man is alone in an airport lounge. A beautiful woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him. He decides because she's wearing a uniform, she's probably an off-duty flight attendant. So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her greatly.He leans across to her and says the British Airways motto : 'To Fly. To Serve'?The woman looks at him blankly.He sits back and thinks up another line.He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto: 'Winning the hearts of the world'?Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face. Undeterred, he tries again, this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto: 'Going beyond expectations'? The woman looks at him sternly and says: 'What the **** do you want?'Aha!' he says, "Ryanair!" 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post smetrov Posted August 15, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted August 15, 2013 Anyone seen that new film about a tractor ??????????????? ...........I've only seen the trailer ! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ikantcpell Posted August 16, 2013 Share Posted August 16, 2013 The wife just had her teeth whitened.Although,to be honest most of it landed on her chin 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFC_Hitz Posted August 16, 2013 Share Posted August 16, 2013 This is old, it's so very old. British Captain in the trenches asks a young Australian private: " Did you come here to die?" "No Sir, I came here yesterday" 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ChristchurchVillan Posted August 17, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted August 17, 2013 An Arsenal fan goes into a travel agents and says 'I need a holiday, but I don't know where to go' The agent says 'You can't beat a good villa this time of year. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoelVilla Posted August 17, 2013 Share Posted August 17, 2013 Birmingham City. Havent laughed this much in months. Great joke. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smetrov Posted August 20, 2013 Share Posted August 20, 2013 Ive just brought a cheese slice off ebay......it was previously owned by Hilter and Stalin....................it was the grater of two evils..... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 20, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted August 20, 2013 *bought sorry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eames Posted August 20, 2013 Share Posted August 20, 2013 *grater I'm not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Posted August 20, 2013 Share Posted August 20, 2013 (edited) This joke was in the top10 at the edinburgh fringe: Bobby Mair - "I was adopted at birth and have never met my mum. That makes it very difficult to enjoy any lapdance." I have to say I don't get it. EDIT: Is the inference that his Mom could be the lapdancer? Edited August 20, 2013 by Jon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 20, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted August 20, 2013 This joke was in the top10 at the edinburgh fringe: Bobby Mair - "I was adopted at birth and have never met my mum. That makes it very difficult to enjoy any lapdance." I have to say I don't get it. Playing on some sort of stereotype that strippers give their babies up for adoption? Anyway, any list of "best" jokes that includes anything written or spoken by Tim Vine renders it completely null and void. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted August 20, 2013 Moderator Share Posted August 20, 2013 This joke was in the top10 at the edinburgh fringe: Bobby Mair - "I was adopted at birth and have never met my mum. That makes it very difficult to enjoy any lapdance." I have to say I don't get it.Cuz they could be related. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Posted August 20, 2013 Share Posted August 20, 2013 Yeah, the list of the top 10 from the fringe (voted for by Dave viewers it seems) seems pretty poor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrackpotForeigner Posted August 20, 2013 Share Posted August 20, 2013 There was a link to previous years. I liked: I'm dating a pair of anorexics: Two birds, one stone. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meath_Villan Posted August 20, 2013 Share Posted August 20, 2013 I was clearing out a house this morning and I asked a fella "Can you help me,I'm looking for a rubbish tip?" He said "Liverpool to win the Premier League" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skruff Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 What's red and crawling up a leg? An abortion with homesickness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodders Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StefanAVFC Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 Kevin Friend has a cushy career as a referee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted August 22, 2013 Moderator Share Posted August 22, 2013 What a great gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 It's so difficult to explain puns to a kleptomaniac. They always take things literally. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts