Drugs

[leighavfc]

36 minutes ago, Rugeley Villa said:

I feel your pain mate . Been battling it for years . Can relate so much to what you say. Finding it hard initially when all your so called friends are out on it. Then you soon get over that, but then realise you’ve been left behind and they ain’t really your mates. I like to look at it like I’ve left them behind . I’ve cut a few people out of my life, but the moment you put yourself in a situation you can guarantee most of them will be waiting for you and they will still be doing the same old crap in the same old pubs. Also when you mention the bit where you know what’s going to happen but you still go ahead and go the pub or have a drink. Then the despair of throwing away X amount of clean time and starting from day 1 again is painful . My wife has put up with a lot from me. 
 

I had a blip the other month , But I’m determined no more . I don’t drink in the house, and I avoid pubs in the town. I also avoid 99.9% of people I know or used to socialise with . The only time I drink now is if me and the missus have a night away, or might have a few with a meal. Basically I don’t drink often.  I used to crave it bad when I weren’t even drinking. Also I’d use several times a week. I don’t crave it anymore, so things are on the up . 
 

anytime you want a chat....

Thanks for that mate, i have read some of your posts of the time on here and see our stories are very similar.

Yeah, everytime the word drink is mentioned i start to shudder inside... as i know the cravings and temptations are coming. Like i say im not a drinker these days.. but hammer it hard when i do. Its so hard for me as even just a couple of drinks at the in laws i have to turn down as i cant trust myself. Then this obviously causes issues as they think its them because i dont want to go... they dont know about my addictions. I literally cant drink without taking it.. Trying to avoid having a drink all the time is hard too as i will literally have no social life at all. Some of my friends understand and we do try and do other things from time to time but it always ends up going for a drink somewhere afterwards. Too many years caning it in Ibiza didnt help either....

I have cut out most of the bad people in my life, the rest are not bad people and are my genuine friends, but they will at times take drugs too. I dont crave for it when not drinking, i will occasionally think oooh a line would be nice but thats as far as it goes when sober. I am learning and getting better, for example normally i would be up most of the night, skipping work to recover and then going through the come down and all the rest of it. Yesterday i poured away what i had when i got in and had more drink before bed at 8pm.... nothing to be proud of but a tiny little bit more control at that time... thats wrong in some senses but in my world it is a small step forward being able to throw away and then getting myself to bed before doing anymore damage.

Ive just been in daze all day today thinking about it... i genuinely dont know where today has gone ive been that deep in thought. Ive relapsed, out of pocket, and back to square 1 again.

I have another tempting situation coming up at the weekend with the missus being away and a pal coming round. I have told him i wont be drinking so im hoping i dont cave in on the night. In all honesty it may be best i cancel but i havent seen him for about 9 months and his my best mate.

I will definetly take your offer up for a chat mate... it really does help me!

[maqroll]

I stopped drinking several months ago but I'm finding stopping cannabis is trickier than I ever thought. Its annoying. Its not even like I always get relaxed when using it. Sometimes the opposite, by over thinking everything. I just need to learn how to spend after dinner hours like a Spartan soldier. Get sh*t done instead of staring at screens. 

Edited May 24, 2021 by maqroll

[Rugeley Villa]

19 hours ago, leighavfc said:

Thanks for that mate, i have read some of your posts of the time on here and see our stories are very similar.

Yeah, everytime the word drink is mentioned i start to shudder inside... as i know the cravings and temptations are coming. Like i say im not a drinker these days.. but hammer it hard when i do. Its so hard for me as even just a couple of drinks at the in laws i have to turn down as i cant trust myself. Then this obviously causes issues as they think its them because i dont want to go... they dont know about my addictions. I literally cant drink without taking it.. Trying to avoid having a drink all the time is hard too as i will literally have no social life at all. Some of my friends understand and we do try and do other things from time to time but it always ends up going for a drink somewhere afterwards. Too many years caning it in Ibiza didnt help either....

I have cut out most of the bad people in my life, the rest are not bad people and are my genuine friends, but they will at times take drugs too. I dont crave for it when not drinking, i will occasionally think oooh a line would be nice but thats as far as it goes when sober. I am learning and getting better, for example normally i would be up most of the night, skipping work to recover and then going through the come down and all the rest of it. Yesterday i poured away what i had when i got in and had more drink before bed at 8pm.... nothing to be proud of but a tiny little bit more control at that time... thats wrong in some senses but in my world it is a small step forward being able to throw away and then getting myself to bed before doing anymore damage.

Ive just been in daze all day today thinking about it... i genuinely dont know where today has gone ive been that deep in thought. Ive relapsed, out of pocket, and back to square 1 again.

I have another tempting situation coming up at the weekend with the missus being away and a pal coming round. I have told him i wont be drinking so im hoping i dont cave in on the night. In all honesty it may be best i cancel but i havent seen him for about 9 months and his my best mate.

I will definetly take your offer up for a chat mate... it really does help me!

Yes mate, been there myself, and I’m still there in all honesty . I’ve got to be so careful when and where I drink. I literally couldn’t drink without it not so long ago, but gradually I’m learning what I can and can’t do. As you say little things like going up the in-laws for a drink is enough to make you fail. What I find is that I can’t drink in a large crowd of people, whether it be up a family members house or even in my house. It just leads me down the wrong path and the occasion completely engulfs me. Then I’d disappear and go and grab a bag. It got to the point where everyone knew where I’d gone, even my wife’s family members. Like I said, I don’t drink in the house now and don’t go up other peoples houses for drinks. It’s either out of town with the wife, and even then it can’t be anywhere too crazy and on top. Or it’s out for a meal. For example I’m out Saturday for a meal, me and the wife and another couple. It’s out of town so im safe. 
 

It never used to be like that. Meals would always end with a bag and quiet nights away with the wife I’d be carrying also. Focusing on my family and also working hard to provide for them keeps me busy during the week . Also I exercise and that helps . I’ve tried so many different things to try and get myself to stop. I’ve gave up drinking countless times, but it’s very hard. I’m certainly not an alcoholic, but I just like a drink now and again. I don’t pressure myself too much with the booze nowadays because I find it sets you up to fail by putting all that pressure on you. Like I said I just limit my drinking and more important only drink when I know it’s safe. It’s crap, but it’s the way it is. 
 

I wish you all the best mate, because I know more than most how hard it is. Just be careful at the weekend, because no missus and your mate coming round drinking, it won’t end well. 

[Rugeley Villa]

17 hours ago, maqroll said:

I stopped drinking several months ago but I'm finding stopping cannabis is trickier than I ever thought. Its annoying. Its not even like I always get relaxed when using it. Sometimes the opposite, by over thinking everything. I just need to learn how to spend after dinner hours like a Spartan soldier. Get sh*t done instead of staring at screens. 

Keeping busy is the key isn’t it. I’ve never been one for the cannabis lifestyle. Was way too slow for my liking . 

[leighavfc]

On a small positive after my mental health thread post... with all the rest of the stuff in my life going on... I have been clean for 3 weeks now.... how I don't know. Somehow I have found the strength to say no amongst probably the toughest period of my life so far. It's been very close, especially this evening but I'm hanging on in there. Hoping I'm at my lowest today and I don't have too many more days like this anymore anytime soon but I'm making a tiny step each day and that's a positive which is scraping me through the days currently.

Edited June 24, 2021 by leighavfc

[Rugeley Villa]

15 hours ago, leighavfc said:

On a small positive after my mental health thread post... with all the rest of the stuff in my life going on... I have been clean for 3 weeks now.... how I don't know. Somehow I have found the strength to say no amongst probably the toughest period of my life so far. It's been very close, especially this evening but I'm hanging on in there. Hoping I'm at my lowest today and I don't have too many more days like this anymore anytime soon but I'm making a tiny step each day and that's a positive which is scraping me through the days currently.

Keep it up mate, but try not to beat yourself up too much. I know more than most how hard it is to kick. I’ve had to decline going to a friends BBQ tomorrow. Fancy dress and all day/night affair. Kind of gutted because it will be fun, for a bit at least anyway , but it’s heavy drinking all day and night and I’d probably fall off the wagon and end up making that phone call. Next Saturday is the wife’s brothers birthday BBQ in Coventry . He’s a regular cocaine user and there will be cocaine there, so I’ve got to try my hardest not to go to that , but I’ll deal with that issue later next week. Same again heavy drinking and I’d end up on it. Got the devil on my shoulder telling me to go because it will be a laugh and I’ll be sound, but I’m wise enough to know what will happen.  Hope things get better for you .

Edited June 25, 2021 by Rugeley Villa

[leighavfc]

9 hours ago, Rugeley Villa said:

Keep it up mate, but try not to beat yourself up too much. I know more than most how hard it is to kick. I’ve had to decline going to a friends BBQ tomorrow. Fancy dress and all day/night affair. Kind of gutted because it will be fun, for a bit at least anyway , but it’s heavy drinking all day and night and I’d probably fall off the wagon and end up making that phone call. Next Saturday is the wife’s brothers birthday BBQ in Coventry . He’s a regular cocaine user and there will be cocaine there, so I’ve got to try my hardest not to go to that , but I’ll deal with that issue later next week. Same again heavy drinking and I’d end up on it. Got the devil on my shoulder telling me to go because it will be a laugh and I’ll be sound, but I’m wise enough to know what will happen.  Hope things get better for you .

Thanks mate, another day clean today for me! Yeah absolutely, I had to turn down a session with one of the neighbours earlier.. he has been nagging all week for me to pop round for a drink but I've had to stay away because of what the drink leads too. I was tempted, but again found the strength to say no and just explained the situation to him. I walked away with my held high, knowing I had stopped myself from dragging myself down again.

Totally agree with you, it's about managing it day to day and situation by situation. For example I am supposed to be going down to Southampton in a couple of weeks for a double birthday party, there I will be fine because I know I wont have the access to the gear and i wont take any with me as I will be sober when i drive down and probably wont really think about it until I've had a drink. I have another party in a months time to go to but it will be with friends and family members where it will be so easy to get hold of... I at this stage want to go but nearer the time I will pull out in fear of what will happen.... It's a long slow process isn't it!

Glad to hear your in control of things currently too mate! Each situation avoided is like the Villa boys grabbing an extra time winner In my head at the moment!

[HanoiVillan]

Good luck to you both @Rugeley Villa and @leighavfc.

[maqroll]

Don't do heroin, kids!

 

[maqroll]

I finally broke the cannabis spell I was under since the March 2020. 

I get to sleep at the same not too late hour every night now and I don't over think everything. It's a relief. Cannabis addiction is real. It feeds into compulsive behavior for people with addictive personalities. 

 

[tinker]

10 hours ago, maqroll said:

I finally broke the cannabis spell I was under since the March 2020. 

I get to sleep at the same not too late hour every night now and I don't over think everything. It's a relief. Cannabis addiction is real. It feeds into compulsive behavior for people with addictive personalities. 

 

Cannabis is a terrible drug, it steals users ambitions, drive and motivation to live a normal productive life. 

[Genie]

10 hours ago, maqroll said:

I finally broke the cannabis spell I was under since the March 2020. 

I get to sleep at the same not too late hour every night now and I don't over think everything. It's a relief. Cannabis addiction is real. It feeds into compulsive behavior for people with addictive personalities. 

 

Great news.

I find that regular users of cannabis are very defensive of its impact and how it impacts others. 
I still remember a group of mates at school, one of their parents turned a blind eye to them smoking it in their garage every night. Over a few months I saw them go from bright, funny, clever to tired, lazy and moody but they’d never admit it was anything to do with weed.

[maqroll]

1 hour ago, Genie said:

Great news.

I find that regular users of cannabis are very defensive of its impact and how it impacts others. 
I still remember a group of mates at school, one of their parents turned a blind eye to them smoking it in their garage every night. Over a few months I saw them go from bright, funny, clever to tired, lazy and moody but they’d never admit it was anything to do with weed.

Teenagers should not use cannabis, IMO. Their brains are still developing. It's dangerous and can trigger underlying potentialities like schizophrenia. I saw it happen to a good friend who lives with his parents to this day, aged 50. Really **** sad.

I think like any substance, the key is moderation. If you can't moderate, you shouldn't use it, be it cannabis, alcohol,  whatever.

 

[tomav84]

12 hours ago, maqroll said:

I finally broke the cannabis spell I was under since the March 2020. 

I get to sleep at the same not too late hour every night now and I don't over think everything. It's a relief. Cannabis addiction is real. It feeds into compulsive behavior for people with addictive personalities. 

 

100% agree. smoked it pretty much daily through uni. would have had a much better social life had i not, as rather than going for a pint with guys from my lecture group i just wanted to go home for a smoke. similar situation with girls too...got invited back to girls houses on nights out but that would've meant that i didn't get to have a smoke so i bloody declined! more than once !!

went to amsterdam a few years after uni where i wasn't used to it anymore, span me right out to the point it just wasn't fun. guy in the flat downstairs smokes it all the time and whilst it does smell nice and brings back some happy memories, i've no desire to start up again

[Rugeley Villa]

Well done @maqroll and anyone else who’s stopped using. I’ve been around heavy cannabis users, work and social and it does massively effect their life, and as Genie says it kills ambition. The lad I used to work with became very lazy because of it and was terrible to be around if he hadn’t had any. I’ve never been one for hanging out with stoners who like monging out on weed, it annoys me too much . Same as I don’t like being around people that like to lay in bed all morning/day, it effects my mood in a negative way . 

[MNVillan]

I came clean to my family yesterday after months of excessive drinking. Was really hard but I know it will be the right thing to do

[Xela]

On 19/08/2021 at 12:33, Genie said:

Great news.

I find that regular users of cannabis are very defensive of its impact and how it impacts others. 
I still remember a group of mates at school, one of their parents turned a blind eye to them smoking it in their garage every night. Over a few months I saw them go from bright, funny, clever to tired, lazy and moody but they’d never admit it was anything to do with weed.

When i first started at my current employer, I was 22 I think, and ended up being pals with a guy in the same department. Sound guy, about 28/29 at the time, massive pot head. His evenings were, get home from work, go up to his room (lived with his parents) and sit on his beanbag, smoke all night and fiddle about on his guitar. Great if you are 18, or every now and again, but this was every night and all weekend. 

When we used to go out after work for beers, he'd come out for 1 or 2, but you could always tell he just wanted to get home and smoke. He left after about a year of knowing him. Bumped into him about 5 years later, he was married, kid, own house and a good job in sales. He's knocked it on the head about 3 or 4 years previous. Admitted it has drained any drive out of him. 

[Follyfoot]

A mate of mine says Kratom is fantastic and legal, never heard of it before. Any one offay with it?

[MNVillan]

Went to my first AA meeting tonight. Really powerful stuff and I’m glad I’m on the road to recovery

[Genie]

3 hours ago, MNVillan said:

Went to my first AA meeting tonight. Really powerful stuff and I’m glad I’m on the road to recovery

Great news mate, keep us up to date with your progress.