Drugs

[Rugeley Villa]

11 hours ago, leemond2008 said:

I've had a night on the beer with my music tonight (standard Thursday night)

I got listening to stuff from the early 00's (2000's, early two thousandths...I don't know what you would call that)

Any way I was listening to shit from when I was aged between 17 and 23, I remember every song 100%, I have no idea what I was doing with my life at that point, the whole thing is a blur, I remember the music and certain situations but on a whole its a blank.

This sort of thing has been playing on my mind just lately, I'm 32 or 33 ( I had this conversation earlier in the week, apparently I'm 32 but I'm sure I'm 33) and I have lost a good 6 or 7 years of my life to partying.

Now I still say that I wouldn't change those days for anything, I had a **** blast, it was crazy, we took everything, we did everything, we were **** mad.

Now I sit alone in my 1 bedroom flat that I rent, I'm in a dead end job, I'm single, I don't even know how old I am any more, I have nothing apart from me and my music...I can't help but think that the years of abuse have contributed to this, I know that I have a few issues with people in general and I reckon that could be attributed to some of the drugs I took.

Would I go back and change it...I don't think I would, the only things that keep me sane sometimes are those memories, **** good times they were, without them, who knows, I could be married with kids and **** miserable, as it is I'm single lonely and believe it or not quite happy.

You seem quite content with your music and books. i lost a few good friends because of my drug use, but it's just one of them. I've thought about trying to reach out to them again, but don't know if I can be arsed. I've got enough interests to keep me going if I can get into the bloody groove of it, but it's just getting motivated. Had some great nights on drugs and it used to be a lot of fun, but it stopped being fun a few years back. I went to buy some books the other week because I used to enjoy reading, but I just can't process books at the minute. Ended up staring at these books thinking WTF and then leaving because my head was what felt like full of thick sludge. 

[lapal_fan]

14 hours ago, Rugeley Villa said:

I know you don't approve of drugs @lapal_fan which I've figured out over the time I've been on this forum, but I must say you have been very caring and even helpful towards me. I'll always appreciate that because I mean nothing to you, but you take the time out to say positive things. I know your problem with me doing it is because I have kids and it pisses you off that kids can get caught up in this unnecessary shit.respect to you and many others on this forum. 

It's good man.  Always happy to give positive vibes. 

I'm not bothered by drugs though really - as I said - they're just not within my little sphere of life (luckily?) so I never worry about them, because I don't even think about them.  I wouldn't know if someone had had a line of coke, even with powder under his nose. 

If anyone is absolutely fine and comfortable taking drugs, then that's cool with me.  If it's something people enjoy, like I do with a bit of whisky, then cool man.  

I just know that you DO have a problem, because you can't quit when you want, and it seems to (from what you say) affect you, your wife and your family - that's what upsets me (it doesn't piss me off, it's your life).  If you had the disposable income, just had a line for a laugh with your mates or whatever every now and again, then cool - whatever. 

What does upset me is that you're a good bloke - you can tell from messages on here that your heart is absolutely in the right place.  I bet you're a right **** tinker, and I doubt we'd get on because we're so different in "the real world", but I know that you care about your wife (except on your wedding day  ) and you love your kids and you obviously work hard because scaffolding/roofing isn't **** easy.  I've worked on building sites and it's work that keeps you honest and ultimately, it'll catch up with you when you're old - so I respect anyone that goes on a building site everyday to provide for their families - as I've said before, my old man did it, and he's paying for it now.

Back to my point - it's ultimately that I know that the money you spend on that habit would be much better spent on your kids.  Holidays, days out, clothes, toys, whatever - I'm guessing the habit will cost you more than £20 a pop, say that's once a weekend, 20 times a year, £400 quid gone up your nose for something (according to you on here) doesn't even do much for you anymore.  

I shouldn't really be telling anyone how to spend their money, but I just think it could be spent better.

Then there's the issues with your wife, who obviously adores you because she'd have left you by now if she didn't - you should be extremely grateful to her for that - you're lucky. 

Then there is the potential affects on your kids.  I'm not suggesting you're snorting in your living room whilst watching teletubbies with them or anything, but kids are really good at picking up difference in personality, changes in attitude and general behaviour, plus they copy everything parents do because parents are heroes in their eyes.  It terrifies me imagining the potential impacts a child knowing his or her parents have a drug habit - how would they deal with it?  Not sure.

I've jumped to a lot of conclusions and made a lot of presumptions - most of which are probably nonsense.  But if I can see someone who wants help, I'll be there man.  Every day of the week.  We're all on this little rock flying through space together, may as well make the most of it. 

[Paddywhack]

I always hated the "Drugs are bad" and "Say no to drugs" crap. Even at school I remember thinking it was a bit of a cop out.

"Just tell the kids not to do them and be done with it. If they still do them, then that's their fault, we did our job."

[Stevo985]

10 minutes ago, Paddywhack said:

I always hated the "Drugs are bad" and "Say no to drugs" crap. Even at school I remember thinking it was a bit of a cop out.

"Just tell the kids not to do them and be done with it. If they still do them, then that's their fault, we did our job."

Goes back to what I was trying to say earlier.

To me the thing that would stop people doing drugs is the perception of it in the public. Again, let's go back to smoking. The general perception of smoking is surely at an all time low. Every man and his dog is now fully educated as to how harmful smoking is and the consequences of it. 
People still choose to do it, and that's their choice. But I would bet that the proportion of people who smoke is incredibly low compared to 20 years ago.

 

Legal or illegal. If someone wants some cocaine then in general they'll get it. Whether they can walk up to the counter in Sainsbury's and buy it, or they have to find a dealer to buy it illegally. It'll happen.

I  would guess that if drugs like cocaine were legalised, but had the same restrictions put on them as tobacco (advertising, health warnings etc) then you wouldn't see much difference between who uses it now and who doesn't.

[lapal_fan]

I've realised why I'm so anti-drugs.  I couldn't remember the name of it for years, but this topic has sparked a plethora of memories. 

So I was 10, and "played" this;

Which is a quiz about drugs, and their effects on the human body.  I remember it vividly now.  It had a main menu, with different pulsating capsules in a circle.  When you hovered your cursor over the different capsules, which resembled different drugs, it played different music (uppers being fast dance tunes, downers being very bass-y, slower beats).  When you clicked, it took you to a quiz about that drug, which you answered.  When you got so many, or all of the questions about all of the drugs right, it took you to a cool music mixing programme called "the arcade of sound", where you could mix different stuff up (and I **** hate dance music).

So at the age of about 10 or 11, I knew about barbiturates, amphetamines, cocaine, heroine, weed, steroids and some others I can't remember off the top of my head. 

Obviously at the time I had no idea about it not being anything other than a music game, but wow - it's obviously had an enormous effect on me and my views to drugs (pretty old fashioned obviously!).

This is an article from 97' about the thing, it seems like it was a free CD-Rom on the front of lads mags as a large public health push to get more info to teenage lads, who didn't read as many mags as girls;

http://www.campaignlive.co.uk/article/campaign-direct-teenagers-drugs-message-via-cd-rom-musical-computer-quiz-created-part-battle-against-drug-abuse-ali-qassim-reports/22626

Quote

CAMPAIGN DIRECT: Teenagers get the drugs message via CD-Rom - A musical computer quiz has been created as part of the battle against drug abuse. Ali Qassim reports

’I’ve dropped acid (and) eaten magic mushrooms ... I am 24 years old, what am I going to do, sit at home and clip my toenails?’ pop icon Liam Gallagher recently confessed in front of millions of TV viewers.

Read more at http://www.campaignlive.co.uk/article/campaign-direct-teenagers-drugs-message-via-cd-rom-musical-computer-quiz-created-part-battle-against-drug-abuse-ali-qassim-reports/22626#r4OpYoHJLwVS5M5y.99

 

[BOF]

19 minutes ago, Stevo985 said:

I  would guess that if drugs like cocaine were legalised, but had the same restrictions put on them as tobacco (advertising, health warnings etc) then you wouldn't see much difference between who uses it now and who doesn't.

I disagree here.  I think an awful lot of the general public still go by what they are told by law.  By which I mean if something is illegal then simply on that basis they will be less willing to try it.  Making it legal removes that stigma or the worry of breaking the law.  "If it's legal it can't be that bad".  So I think people would try a lot of things if they were legalised.  Some might try once and leave it.  Others might try it, like it and start to use it.  I'm not saying that's a problem.  Just that I think that's how it would go.

Going back to @Paddywhack's point about 'hey we tried' being a cop out too.  I completely agree with him, and in a way it shoots itself in the foot.  Because it encourages an ignorance around drugs.  People who don't use them or who don't move in those circles are generally completely ignorant of them.  It would be much better to educate people as to why something may be good or bad rather than make it such a taboo that it is not even discussed.  Hell, we're now even seeing that some of these 'evil'(sic) drugs have serious health benefits.  Marijuana as a pain killer.  MDMA to cure depression & PTSD.  So the ignorance also stifles medical research and public mood and ultimately everyone suffers, because then even the users are ignored and demonised by a public with no knowledge and no desire to have any.

[Stevo985]

10 minutes ago, BOF said:

I disagree here.  I think an awful lot of the general public still go by what they are told by law.  By which I mean if something is illegal then simply on that basis they will be less willing to try it.  Making it legal removes that stigma or the worry of breaking the law.  "If it's legal it can't be that bad".  So I think people would try a lot of things if they were legalised.  Some might try once and leave it.  Others might try it, like it and start to use it.  I'm not saying that's a problem.  Just that I think that's how it would go.

I guess I should have said regular users. You're right, you might see a spike in people trying it, but I think the regular user base, if that's what you can call it, would stay about the same.

It's just a hunch. I have absolutely no evidence to back it up

 

[AVFCDAN]

41 minutes ago, Stevo985 said:

I  would guess that if drugs like cocaine were legalised, but had the same restrictions put on them as tobacco (advertising, health warnings etc) then you wouldn't see much difference between who uses it now and who doesn't.

I agree with this, surely there would be a spike at first but it would level out.

Also the benefits would be a billion dollar industry taken out of the hands of criminals and a safer product for the end user. Also think of the police budget that is wasted on chasing these criminals not to mention the man hours that could be redirected into other areas.

[Rugeley Villa]

Got my assessment next Monday then hopefully within a month will be in rehab. It's been a bad weekend and I'm dead inside. Wife casually told me I need to go rehab. I don't think she expected the answer I gave her and said yes. I've been living a lie to everyone around me. I feel like I'm as close to rock bottom as I can possibly be without losing myself or my family. I've informed work and they are cool about it and the wife said she will cope and she has people around her. Tbf it can't come soon enough. I'll be in there over xmas which is a killer for obvious reasons. It's going to **** break my heart leaving my kids behind, but I'm doing this for all of us and I hope in years to come they will understand and they will benefit from having a clean and sober dad. I've knew for a bit I needed rehab,but always found an excuse, but now I've ran out of excuses and I honestly just want to get better and rid myself out of these shackles. 3 months off VT, how will I survive 

[Paddywhack]

15 minutes ago, Rugeley Villa said:

Got my assessment next Monday then hopefully within a month will be in rehab. It's been a bad weekend and I'm dead inside. Wife casually told me I need to go rehab. I don't think she expected the answer I gave her and said yes. I've been living a lie to everyone around me. I feel like I'm as close to rock bottom as I can possibly be without losing myself or my family. I've informed work and they are cool about it and the wife said she will cope and she has people around her. Tbf it can't come soon enough. I'll be in there over xmas which is a killer for obvious reasons. It's going to **** break my heart leaving my kids behind, but I'm doing this for all of us and I hope in years to come they will understand and they will benefit from having a clean and sober dad. I've knew for a bit I needed rehab,but always found an excuse, but now I've ran out of excuses and I honestly just want to get better and rid myself out of these shackles. 3 months off VT, how will I survive 

We're behind you mate, you can do this!!

[bobzy]

It sounds like you're in the right place for rehab - in that, you see the harm your usage is doing and you feel dead inside.  In treating any addiction, my opinion is that having that sort of rational in place is a huge thing.  You know why you need help.

In the grand scheme, 3 months is nothing.  You can definitely do this and you'll be in a much better place for it  

 

 

(You'll probably be in a much better place for having 3 months off VT, too )

[Rugeley Villa]

13 minutes ago, bobzy said:

It sounds like you're in the right place for rehab - in that, you see the harm your usage is doing and you feel dead inside.  In treating any addiction, my opinion is that having that sort of rational in place is a huge thing.  You know why you need help.

In the grand scheme, 3 months is nothing.  You can definitely do this and you'll be in a much better place for it  

 

 

(You'll probably be in a much better place for having 3 months off VT, too )

3 months will do me the world of good off here, especially now the defeat to wolves means we have no chance of the play offs again  

seriously though, I need to get out of my environment asap. Seeing the kids for two hours only every Saturday ain't good and I hate the fact I can only see them in the rehab which is shameful, but it's got to be done. Maybe if I'd of thought of my kids whilst I've been getting high their  entire lives I wouldn't have to worry about not seeing them. I just hope they cope.

[lapal_fan]

1 hour ago, Rugeley Villa said:

3 months will do me the world of good off here, especially now the defeat to wolves means we have no chance of the play offs again  

seriously though, I need to get out of my environment asap. Seeing the kids for two hours only every Saturday ain't good and I hate the fact I can only see them in the rehab which is shameful, but it's got to be done. Maybe if I'd of thought of my kids whilst I've been getting high their  entire lives I wouldn't have to worry about not seeing them. I just hope they cope.

You're doing the right thing. 

Imagine when your eldest looks you in your eye when he's 20/30/40 with a kid of his own and says "thanks for that dad" - he'll know.  You're the platform on which he's based.  Everything he is, is because of you (and the wife!).  

This is the best thing I've heard for a while.  You shouldn't feel dejected, or defeated - YOU'VE WON.  You've overcome the biggest barrier - admitting you need help and getting it! Wow, what a great start.  Seriously, well done. 

You'll be in the BEST place possible.  If you don't want that life anymore, then you're in the epicentre of the place which can help you get off it.  A place purposely built to help beat your addiction, ****' ace.  

I've said this to you before, but whatever this is, it is NOT a reflection of your manhood.  

This is going to be incredible for your wife, your kids, your family, but best of all, YOU.  

And if you struggle to look at it that way - think of this as ground zero - there's only one place to go, and that's up.  

Ahh man, you're gonna love living a boring life like me.  Trust me, it's the tits! 

GO RUGE! 

Now **** off and get well. #fuckcoke 

[BOF]

11 minutes ago, lapal_fan said:

it is NOT a reflection of your manhood. 

I never want to see a reflection of your manhood.

[lapal_fan]

2 minutes ago, BOF said:

I never want to see a reflection of your manhood.

You can't.. 

I've tried  

[Stevo985]

54 minutes ago, lapal_fan said:

#fuckcoke 

I wouldn't advise that.

[Xela]

All the best @Rugeley Villa 

[Xann]

Rehab?

Trendy bastard.

Next you'll be into ayurvedic veganism and colonic irrigation.

[chrisp65]

 

take it easy, sunshine

see you on the other side

 

Edited October 17, 2017 by chrisp65

[Dom_Wren]

Good luck RV. Very brave what your doing. Thoughts with you and your family Bruv.