8pints Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 When I was eight...years old as opposed to 'pints' (I've always been that part) I sang this on a Karaoke at Butlins. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWIxA7M_-ZA And when I finished singing, dedicated it to my Mammy Is Butlins the worst part of this confession? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voinjama Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 I had an unorthodox wanking method when I was younger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villaajax Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 I had an unorthodox wanking method when I was younger. Dare I ask... how? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghost Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Once, back in my days at uni, I ended up back at home with an absolute monstrosity of a woman - she was at least twenty stone, and had a chin like Bruce Forsyth. I barely remember the night apart from her having a gaping chasm of a minge - I could barely tell if I was in or not. Anyway, in the morning, I was feeling randy but had no condoms and no desire to impregnate the beast. Somehow, and I'm not sure how it began, I started rutting her enormous gut, which felt pretty good, giving truth to the phrase "more cushion for the pushin". I really got into it, and before I knew it, I shocked her with a blast of spunk to the underside of her massive chin. Thanks for this, cheered me up after a miserable day in the office. Plus it ended the train talk Haha! My pleasure! Yes, it was your pleasure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StefanAVFC Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 I had an unorthodox wanking method when I was younger. Using a certain bodily fluid as lube? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post AndyM3000 Posted February 20, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted February 20, 2014 I had an unorthodox wanking method when I was younger. Dare I ask... how? He removed a couple of his ribs. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StewieGriffin Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 I don't post on here or even sign in very often so I have **** all to lose... 1) I once convinced a girl in college that men have a 'period' of sorts whereby a cum/piss hybrid dribbles out of the japs eye 2) when I lived at my parent's, I once wore some of my girlfriends er... "dressing up gear" that we hid under my bed just to see what it felt like 3) I regularly lie to work colleagues about my personal life to make myself look 'cooler' its gone as far as making fake Facebook accounts and posting messages on my personal wall posing as a girl i have completely invented and replying to my proper status updates under 'her' name to make it appear like she's kind of stalking me. 4) I am obsessed with the ginger teacher from Glee 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StewieGriffin Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 5) I once took a list of all of the staff addresses at work and google street-viewed them purely out of mindless curiosity 6) the first girl i shaggged went on top for a while and came on her period almost immediately. Put me off sex for about 2 years Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StewieGriffin Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 7) when I was about 16, it was fairly obvious that the 14 year old girl a few doors away had a crush on me. Obviously it got her nowhere, but I did "imagine" what shed look like in a couple of years time. She added me on facebook about 6 months ago, and i was a bit appalled that she looked pretty much exactly how I "imagined" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFCforever1991 Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 I keep reading these in Stewie Griffin's voice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adw95 Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 7) when I was about 16, it was fairly obvious that the 14 year old girl a few doors away had a crush on me. Obviously it got her nowhere, but I did "imagine" what shed look like in a couple of years time. She added me on facebook about 6 months ago, and i was a bit appalled that she looked pretty much exactly how I "imagined" You should have DHUTWU. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hogso Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 3) I regularly lie to work colleagues about my personal life to make myself look 'cooler' its gone as far as making fake Facebook accounts and posting messages on my personal wall posing as a girl i have completely invented and replying to my proper status updates under 'her' name to make it appear like she's kind of stalking me. Self catfishing? Awesome! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted February 20, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted February 20, 2014 I regularly lie I don't believe you. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voinjama Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 Number 3 made me laugh and cringe at the same time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StewieGriffin Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 Number 3 is sort of out of hand at work - I keep getting asked about her, but I've gone too far to stop making stuff up now. im in a weird place of finding it pretty funny that they fall for it whilst being ashamed at myself for being such a loser 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 Number 3 is sort of out of hand at work - I keep getting asked about her, but I've gone too far to stop making stuff up now. im in a weird place of finding it pretty funny that they fall for it whilst being ashamed at myself for being such a loser Hmm, I think they might know. The profile pic isn't you in a wig is it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarewsEyebrowDesigner Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 You should kill her off. Say she fell down an elevator shaft. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dAVe80 Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 (edited) Number 3 is sort of out of hand at work - I keep getting asked about her, but I've gone too far to stop making stuff up now. im in a weird place of finding it pretty funny that they fall for it whilst being ashamed at myself for being such a loser I would start to worry if it get to the point where she has more friends on Facebook than you. Edited February 20, 2014 by dAVe80 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted February 20, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted February 20, 2014 Me, and my total-out-of-touchness again. I was thinking about "new-ish" bands the other day, and Gomez sprang to mind. I assumed their debut album came out two, maybe three years ago. 1998. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dAVe80 Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 Me, and my total-out-of-touchness again. I was thinking about "new-ish" bands the other day, and Gomez sprang to mind. I assumed their debut album came out two, maybe three years ago. 1998. On a similar note, I was thinking about the 1994 League Cup Final the other day, and it dawned on me that was 20 years ago! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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