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I have a confession to make.....


Houlston
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Not sure this one has been done before but I thought it could be interesting or funny to know stuff that you might be ashamed of or ordinarily wouldn't bring up.

 

I'll start with a fairly shameful and disgusting one, when at Uni I got so drunk I was sick in the sink in my room and decided to eat a piece of meat that came out, wasn't till I saw myself in the mirror over the sink that it dawned on me what I was doing.

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You see these on reddit a lot. Not sure you'll get many on here given we're not that anonymous :) I'd love to be wrong though :D

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Topic's Bindunne-ish before, plus there's not much I've done that I'm out and out ashamed of (except my skank of a first girlfriend *badum-tish*).

 

I suppose the ones I'm probably going to hell for are the systematic torture of an old flatmate with an array of increasingly cruel pranks, most of which I've already mentioned on here but what the heck...

 

  • sprayed an entire can of Pledge inside his bike helmet.
  • phoned him pretending to be from the TV Licence people, convinced him he had to pay £1000 fine or spend a month in jail, came home to find him sobbing in his bedroom.
  • did a shit in his boot.
  • masturbated into his shampoo.
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Topic's Bindunne-ish before, plus there's not much I've done that I'm out and out ashamed of (except my skank of a first girlfriend *badum-tish*).

 

I suppose the ones I'm probably going to hell for are the systematic torture of an old flatmate with an array of increasingly cruel pranks, most of which I've already mentioned on here but what the heck...

 

  • sprayed an entire can of Pledge inside his bike helmet.
  • phoned him pretending to be from the TV Licence people, convinced him he had to pay £1000 fine or spend a month in jail, came home to find him sobbing in his bedroom.
  • did a shit in his boot.
  • masturbated into his shampoo.

 

Oh my Christ. For real?

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Yeah, mild bullying. It's odd, because bullying is something I've always hated, and still do.

 

But when we were at school a bunch of us used to torment this one lad - not really seriously, he was actually one of our mates - but enough to piss him off quite badly. To the point where on leaving school he joined the army to toughen himself up. He's a nice bloke - I still see him occasionally, and it's to his immense credit that he never came and battered us. I know I've apologised about it since, but it still makes me feel a bit bad, even after all these years.

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A few weeks back I was rudely awakened by something cold and wet touching the end of my nob.

 

It was the cat from next door's nose.

 

It had crawled into the warm space left by my girlfriend when she'd got up for work.

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^^^That's bad! Even if it's only a couple of quid.

 

I came to the conclusion when I worked in a hotel that I could steal money, probably quite a lot of it, and never get found out. The systems were so outdated that you could easily fudge it.

 

I never did it though. I'm a good boy :)

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