Ingram85 Posted April 28, 2013 Share Posted April 28, 2013 (edited) I'm close to giving up. Maybe I just need a shag rather than a relationship. If you go out looking for it, you will never find it. I spent 7 years bouncing between girls, looking for "the one", I was usually dumped after a few weeks, which meant id spend Friday and Saturday out on the pull with the "ill show you what your going to miss" attitude, id meet someone and a few weeks later I was being given the its not you, its me speech again. I went out one Friday night determined to get pissed and nothing more , that Friday I ended up meeting the girl I have been with for 4 years, share a house with, share a life with. Stop looking. It will find you. It, being a relationship that you spend 40 minutes in IKEA on a Saturday arguing over which isle is being served quicker and dealing with the gradual rejection of your friends in favor of hers. Easier said than done though. I've been bouncing around for a few years now and getting bored within a week. Sometimes I've ended it others it was the girl. I seem to meet completely the wrong type of girl all the time. I dunno. Just fed up with it all now and i guess it shows in my attitude a bit which I realise is off putting but yet its hard to hide. Oh and to my shame I love going to IKEA Well, what's the "right type" of girl and what's been so wrong with the wrong type? Maybe it's easier to figure out. Also, don't try so hard. Duh. I guess I don't mean there's much wrong with the girl, its more the wrong time and for the wrong reasons (on my behalf). Thanks for the advice Jaime. Also, out of the blue im going on a date on friday. Ive been hanging out with an old mate who I've always kept in touch with but its never gone anywhere, but recently we've gone out as friends a few times, she's come round mine a couple of times the past month or so and has always stressed how she isnt in the right place for a relationship and what not but she has just text me to say she wants to know me better and wants to take it a step further. I haven't put any pressure on her and have respected her wish to just meet up as friends all the time so I'm a bit perplexed that she wants to go for dinner. Girls are crazy. Edited April 28, 2013 by Ingram85 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted April 28, 2013 Share Posted April 28, 2013 Also, where's good to eat in Moseley for a date? My minds knackered, I spend half my time miserably convinced I'm unlovable then the next minute I'm having to organise a meal. Argh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted April 28, 2013 Share Posted April 28, 2013 You are unlovable, girls just see you and know they can get a free meal out of you As for the whole thing about how you find love when you least expect it, it's rubbish in my opinion. Of course you're more likely to find someone if you're actively out meeting new people. There is something to be said of letting things flow and not trying so hard though. Just meet new people and go into it without any pressure. Enjoy it for what it is and have no expectations, it'll happen eventually. I'm in the same position somewhat, though I'm concentrating on finishing my college course, finding a job and moving out, so a relationship isn't what I'm looking for right now. I'm 27 but I'm not worried about never finding anyone. It'll happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted April 28, 2013 Share Posted April 28, 2013 There's definitely a middle ground though. I always put far too much pressure on myself as all my mates have settled down. Bit silly really but there you go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YLN Posted April 29, 2013 Share Posted April 29, 2013 Villa winning 6-1 and I've a date with a stunner that involves sitting on my bedroom floor playing age of empires and rollercoaster tycoon while ordering thai food. I'll take this feeling forever if you like. This is the one I'm happy to groundhog day 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted April 29, 2013 Share Posted April 29, 2013 Tell us that you capped it off with a shag, THEN Groundhog Day it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YLN Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 Tell us that you capped it off with a shag, THEN Groundhog Day it. The date is on Wednesday. Tomorrow I jam with the band. Wednesday is the date. Thursday is our gig. Often the anticipation is better than the reality, so I'll take the excitement about how good this week is going to be... for the moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 Still, sounds like a good couple of days. I'd love to be in a band again, and I'd love a date with a stunner too of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wainy316 Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 Tell us that you capped it off with a shag, THEN Groundhog Day it. The date is on Wednesday. Tomorrow I jam with the band. Wednesday is the date. Thursday is our gig. Often the anticipation is better than the reality, so I'll take the excitement about how good this week is going to be... for the moment. Well at least knock one out then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YLN Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 Alright.. I'm in trouble. The girl here in the previous messages. We've met a few times since. Had a great time. We get on really well. About two weeks ago she got sick and we couldn't meet. Since she has had to work double shifts at work, so we've had no time to meet. Tonight we arranged to meet. She was out with her friends. I met them at a bar and had a pint. We kissed for a bit and she said she'd come back to mine. We're in a pretty casual relationship. I have to be up early tomorrow and she knows this, so I'd made it clear I couldn't stay out all night. So she said she'd go say goodbye to her friends. So she heads to the bathroom where they are. She returns and is far from herself. She buys cigarettes and shows no sign of leaving. I say I thought we were leaving. She says she's staying to hang out with her friends a bit more. And then says she is heading upstairs to smoke. I say I don't want to stand around like an idiot all night. She blows a fuse and says that I can just leave then. I say I don't want to leave without her. She says she's staying with her friends and I'm a complete asshole. I leave. I text her to say I'd have liked to have known if she was going to be out for the night. I could have just met her the next day. She says **** off, she'd have liked to have known that I was an asshole and so on. I say we should meet. She apologises for being an asshole, but that she can't leave her friends. She says let's meet tomorrow and chat. I say I like her a lot, but I'm out. She says fine. I'm guessing she did cocaine in the bathroom... I'm absolutely gutted. She is beautiful and we get on really well. ****. I can't be putting up with this shit though. **** **** **** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 Well if she did do Coke and she's older than 22, then she's a prick... an immature prick with no self control or self worth. Or, thinking on the lighter side, people and alcohol.. everyone makes a dick out of themselves, it'll be normal tomorrow. Don't throw your eggs (or balls) into one basket, you don't want to get with someone who has wild mood swings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brommy Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 yillan, in your best 'it's no problem if you do' way, could you ask her if she does coke? I think you will handle the situation better if you know for certain. You may get a more accurate answer if you patch things up for a few days before asking on another night out. If it turns out to be a mood swing unrelated to illegal drugs (possibly alcohol or hormonal), make a mental note of it and wait to see when the next one is. Dealing with very occasional mood swings is one thing; dealing with a coke head or someone that 'goes off on one' every time they have a drink is another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 Sounds like the kind of women I end up with. Obviously not all of them are batshit crazy, but I've met a fair few who have ridiculous moodswings but they weren't drug-induced as far as I know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted May 30, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted May 30, 2013 I actually think that whole episode might be a good thing, Yillan, if it hadn't been for the bit wher eyou told her you're out. If you'd hung around all night, stood around like a lemon then you'd look a bit of a fanny and a pushover. If you'd forced her to leave with you then you'd look a bit of a prick for forcing her to cut her night short just to spend time with you. I'd text her today and tell her you do want to meet. It's not ideal that you had a bit of a spat over it, but at least you appear to have made up quickly and you'll see her again tomorrow (today). Now she knows you're not a pushover, but she also knows you're not the kind of guy who's going to force her to do things she doesn't want to. Obviously the better situation would have been if you'd just said something like "you're having a good night, you stay out. I'll go home and we'll meet tomorrow", but I don't think it's that bad. As for the coke thing. Meh. The odd line of coke in the bathroom shouldn't be enough to ruin your relationship, imo. If it becomes a habit and interferes with your relationship then it might be time to bring it up as an issue. I say suck it up and meet her. Apologise for trying to make her leave but that you thought you'd get to spend more time with her. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dont_do_it_doug. Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 What's wrong with a bit of coke you nutter? Unless she's ACTUALLY addicted which you have absolutely no evidence for, it's the 21st century man get a grip. Besides, you smoke weed with her right? I'm sure I read that. Don't be a hypocrite. Other than that, sounds like your average female. Up to you whether you want average or not. She wouldn't be my cup of tea. Lets face if lads, they're all **** words removed right? **** em. Who's up for a sausage fest?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dont_do_it_doug. Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 P.S. what Stevo said. I'm just bitter towards the lot of them this morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PieFacE Posted May 30, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted May 30, 2013 (edited) Well if she did do Coke and she's older than 22, then she's a prick... an immature prick with no self control or self worth. WTF? Why? That's just silly. Her mates could have just blagged her to stay out longer. I wouldn't just blame it all on having a line... it doesn't hit you straight away anyway so I doubt she was feeling the effects of it by the time she got back to you from the bathroom. Edited May 30, 2013 by PieFacE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarewsEyebrowDesigner Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 I don't go near ladies that do drugs. No drugs. No religion. No tattoos. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 I'd never be with a woman who did drugs. Or smoked. It would be a deal breaker for me. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coda Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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