Ingram85 Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 Probably gonna get slated for this and be told im not 'living in the real world' or whatever but I dont care..... Now, i dont mean this to sound harsh but i find it hard to have any respect for anyone who gets involved with someone who is married or in a relationship. That goes for the other party as well. Whether the husband is a dick or not. Your probably a nice bloke and everything but Id just hate to know what it feels like to be that bloke when he inevitably finds out no matter how much of a word removed he is. Also, say she ends her marraige to be with you, whats stopping her from doing the same to you when the next bit of meat comes along? I dont mean it to sound so harsh and im not naive enough to fail to realise these things happen to thousands of people everyday, and situations happen etc....and you can say the world isnt nice, its just a bit of excitement, if it wasnt me it would be some other fella etc... and i may have this old fashioned view on relationships and loyalty or whatever but i still just find it a bit sad. Oh well.As someone who has been on the receiving end (with a girlfriend), I can say that as shit as it was, it taught me a lot. Nobody owns anyone. They can and should do what they want. As far as I'm concerned there's no psychological difference between being with someone who wishes she could have someone else, and being with someone who does have someone else. Being on the receiving end was actually a real win. It freed me from the illusion that I needed to be with this girl and forgo all other fun, and it gave me the benefit of an ex I could still shag when the mood took me - a perfect situation for a young man, he he. See i get all that and understand it, but if you want to shag around do it with other single people. if your in a relationship and want to mess around, get out the relationship and then do it. Dont be so selfish to crush someone else's feelings. The girl im with, i dont own her at all, if she wanted to mess around she should have the decency to tell me and end the relationship. Dont let one bad experience affect future relationships. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leemond2008 Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 In all fairness I know what you mean but what has been happening isn't something we planned but it's not like it's something that happened the first time we met either We have been pretty much best mates for 6 or 7 years or so and have been through some real shit together, this is where some of the 'complications' come from for us both. All in all it is not something that we both decided to start overnight I suppose something has been building for quite a while (probably years) So now it's just a case of seeing where we go from here, I'm not going to get involved in sneaking around and she doesn't wanto either Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrackpotForeigner Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 See i get all that and understand it, but if you want to shag around do it with other single people. if your in a relationship and want to mess around, get out the relationship and then do it. Dont be so selfish to crush someone else's feelings. Dont let one bad experience affect future relationships. But wouldn't their feelings be crushed if you told them you wanted to end the relationship???? If the relationship has enough going for it, it should be about more than how good you are at "forsaking all others" imo. And let's be honest, the vast majority of men fancy women other than their partner. One bad experience? What I'm saying is that it was a good, educational experience, with a positive outcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dante_Lockhart Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 As someone who has been on the receiving end (with a girlfriend), I can say that as shit as it was, it taught me a lot. *Postma Approved* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b6bloke Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 I just dont agree with sleeping with somone who is in a relationship, my gf said to me that if I ever feels like straying then have the decency to finish with her first and she will do the same, neither of us have ever ever been unfaithful though both have stayed in relationships long after they should of really ended hence the lessons learned. I loved this what she said to her mate one night after learning that she was seeing someone from work "If you dont fancy him anymore bloody give someone else a chance to and stop being bloody selfish and let him free" She got rid of the guy from work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leemond2008 Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 ah well this subject can be put to bed now any way as far as I am concerned. We have knocked it on the head for now, at least until we can sort things out, there are other factors aside from the work thing that makes it difficult. If any thing does happen in the future it will be a rocky road that we have to go down regardless havent really had the chance to speak to her properly this week so I dunno what she is thinking at the moment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irreverentad Posted February 10, 2012 Author Share Posted February 10, 2012 ah well this subject can be put to bed now any way as far as I am concerned. We have knocked it on the head for now, at least until we can sort things out, there are other factors aside from the work thing that makes it difficult. If any thing does happen in the future it will be a rocky road that we have to go down regardless havent really had the chance to speak to her properly this week so I dunno what she is thinking at the moment Hahaha....go down! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choffer Posted February 10, 2012 VT Supporter Share Posted February 10, 2012 I've gone and got myself in an awkward situation. I offered out of the kindness of my heart, to put together a mix cd for some I don't know very well. Now I am worried that this has sent the wrong message and has been interpreted in some way as an indication of my interest for the intended recipient. They've even started mentioning valentines gifts. I'm a bit concerned as although I'm sure they are a lovely person, I'm not interested but it feels that in agreeing to provide them with some new tunes, they've taken it as a green light to start flirting. Any advice? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Yeah, just don't post in the VT mixtape thread anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leemond2008 Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 DO HER UP THE WRONG'UN Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irreverentad Posted February 10, 2012 Author Share Posted February 10, 2012 I've gone and got myself in an awkward situation. I offered out of the kindness of my heart, to put together a mix cd for some I don't know very well. Now I am worried that this has sent the wrong message and has been interpreted in some way as an indication of my interest for the intended recipient. They've even started mentioning valentines gifts. I'm a bit concerned as although I'm sure they are a lovely person, I'm not interested but it feels that in agreeing to provide them with some new tunes, they've taken it as a green light to start flirting. Any advice? Easy put a load of songs on there like: Rolling Stones: You Can't Always Get What You Want Coldplay - Shiver Then if she still doesn't get the hint..... Kelis - Caught Out There Etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 on the subject of sleeping with other people's partners.... I am in principle against it, it's not a good thing. But, it's a lot more complex than yes / no, good / bad. For me and where I'm at now, it's an absolute no no. In the very very distant past I did have a bit of a fling with a girl that was also dating an amateur boxer. She'd been going out with him for ages, they were a known local couple and had been for some time. Anyway, an opportunity or situation arose and being a dumb young thing I took it. Several times. Part of me thought it was cool doing a boxers missus. Part of me thought I had the insurance back up of he was the one guy in town that couldn't hit me (end of boxing licence). Anyway, eventually word got out (beer leads to bragging at that age). Shortly afterwards two things happened. His missus stopped seeing me and I got the kicking of my life for no apparent reason from a bunch of strangers I'd never seen before that had been going from club to club asking for me. Years later it transpires he'd been ok with me doing his gf as he had some sort of problem with that side of things, it was other people knowing that he'd taken exception to. People are complex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leemond2008 Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Just had a chat with my sister of all people, I never thought I would listen to her but she has reiterated what everyone else has said but I think it's finally sunk in...**** it I ain't Gunna wait for her to make the wrong decision and let my head myhead get **** up **** it, plenty more fish in the sea and all that, maybe someday she will think I was the one that got away and not viceversa (pissed so I probably got that last bit wrong) Looks wise she is/was way out of my league or so I thought so maybe it's just a self esteem issue...i dunno, let's see how I feel inthe morra Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leemond2008 Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Shit just read that back and it sounds completely wrong... I dunno it's to complicated to pursue so at the moment I'm thinking **** it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 I'm thinking **** it Surely that's what got you into trouble in the first place? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CI Posted February 11, 2012 Share Posted February 11, 2012 **** it, plenty more fish in the sea and all that, maybe someday she will think I was the one that got away You sound like a DJ doing the voiceover / intro to a recenty Katy Perry song Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kidlewis Posted February 11, 2012 Share Posted February 11, 2012 Question is what is irreverentad up to? His updates have been "enlightening" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dante_Lockhart Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 Thought I'd update with things are going really well with me and the missus. I've never connected with anyone like this before. I really do think we are meant for each other, and I've not been one to believe in fate or soul mates or anything before. I'm beginning to feel like I never actually loved any of my exs as I didn't feel with them the way I feel with her. It's... odd. But a good odd. :oops: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brommy Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Thought I'd update with things are going really well with me and the missus. I've never connected with anyone like this before. I really do think we are meant for each other, and I've not been one to believe in fate or soul mates or anything before. I'm beginning to feel like I never actually loved any of my exs as I didn't feel with them the way I feel with her. It's... odd. But a good odd. :oops: Congratulations on your current happiness! Whilst I would like to advise caution about going 'all in' with your emotions, I fear it would be hypocritical of me. When I was 21, I met a 20 year old girl and we became near obsessed with each other. Our families warned us against committing ourselves so heavily; after all, we were still young, just 'going out' and hardly knew each other. They all said our strong feelings would burn themselves out - 'no one stays that happy for long', they said. This Thursday we've booked a romantic ( :winkold: ) night away to celebrate 21 years together. Life's better for us now than ever. I wish you every success and hope life stays good for you both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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