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I'm 40 in 3 months time. I cant quite believe it. I remember my Dad's 40th quite well and he seemed so much more grown up than me at the same age!

I still feel mentally as though I am in my 20's. My body and face don't agree!

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51 minutes ago, Xela said:

I'm 40 in 3 months time. I cant quite believe it. I remember my Dad's 40th quite well and he seemed so much more grown up than me at the same age!

I still feel mentally as though I am in my 20's. My body and face don't agree!

But then, so do I! 

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2 minutes ago, Seat68 said:

It's my knees. My knees have long said **** you old man. 

My knees have been saying that since my late teens.

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18 hours ago, Xela said:

I'm 40 in 3 months time. I cant quite believe it. I remember my Dad's 40th quite well and he seemed so much more grown up than me at the same age!

I still feel mentally as though I am in my 20's. My body and face don't agree!

My Dad was 45 the year I was born.

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Elderly relative over for lunch today.

I think we've just worked out that they meant Amazon when they said they wanted to buy some pictures on Ramadan.

Now reading a list of things to worry about in one of the newspaper supplements, this should prove entertaining...

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1 hour ago, Brumerican said:

I'm waiting to turn right at a busy T junction when I see an old fella waiting to cross the road.  I wave him across to let him know I have seen him . Next thing you know he's opening my passenger door and getting in the car whilst mumbling about not recognizing me at first but glad I was there as  it was raining . Now my kidnapping days are long gone since Portugal but I genuinely felt like going along with it to see how long it took him to work out that he had just got In a stranger's car .

It took him about 5 minutes and 3 turns up roads he didn't want to drive down before he clocked on. 

He was so embarrassed but I was laughing so much I took him home anyway.

To be fair, you DO look remarkably like his mate. 

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There has been a problem with the water in our office and we haven't been able to flush the toilets for the last 2 days.

The taps and the urinals are working fine, but the ladies (and gents wanting to poop) are either having to cross their legs or walk to the toilets in the local shops and restaurants etc.

Isn't this one of those things where they legally have to close the office, like when there's no heating in the winter? I'd love to go home...

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51 minutes ago, Paddywhack said:

Isn't this one of those things where they legally have to close the office, like when there's no heating in the winter? I'd love to go home...

I'm no legalologist, but I'd be pretty confident that yes, that's not really a safe working environment.

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On 19/03/2019 at 08:21, Brumerican said:

I'm waiting to turn right at a busy T junction when I see an old fella waiting to cross the road.  I wave him across to let him know I have seen him . Next thing you know he's opening my passenger door and getting in the car whilst mumbling about not recognizing me at first but glad I was there as  it was raining . Now my kidnapping days are long gone since Portugal but I genuinely felt like going along with it to see how long it took him to work out that he had just got In a stranger's car .

It took him about 5 minutes and 3 turns up roads he didn't want to drive down before he clocked on. 

He was so embarrassed but I was laughing so much I took him home anyway.

That is brilliant :clap: 

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On 19/03/2019 at 08:21, Brumerican said:

I'm waiting to turn right at a busy T junction when I see an old fella waiting to cross the road.  I wave him across to let him know I have seen him . Next thing you know he's opening my passenger door and getting in the car whilst mumbling about not recognizing me at first but glad I was there as  it was raining . Now my kidnapping days are long gone since Portugal but I genuinely felt like going along with it to see how long it took him to work out that he had just got In a stranger's car .

It took him about 5 minutes and 3 turns up roads he didn't want to drive down before he clocked on. 

He was so embarrassed but I was laughing so much I took him home anyway.

 

I've had something similar but not as funny and I wasn't as brave. 

As soon as I'd pulled up outside my sister-in-law's house, a man came running over from the pub opposite and got in the passenger seat. He said something like "You're late, dickhead", but I still hadn't realised he'd got in the wrong car, I thought I was being carjacked.

Then he looked at me and said, "You're not here for me". I can't remember if I was already crying at this point, but he got out and went back over to his mates.

The thing I found the strangest about the whole thing was that his mates didn't appear rip the piss out of him. I'm sure they saw it, but they just carried on chatting like nothing had happened.

 

I've only just realised he was probably waiting for someone who had some naughty drugs for him, or vice versa. That'd explain why his mates didn't wonder why we hadn't driven off together.

And why he didn't put the seat-belt on.

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Man: “Here’s the money. Give me the good stuff”

 

Paddywhack *undoing his flies*: “Hmm, okay, but I must warn you about the texture of my balls”

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1 hour ago, Rob182 said:

Man: “Here’s the money. Give me the good stuff”

 

Paddywhack *undoing his flies*: “Hmm, okay, but I must warn you about the texture of my balls”

Rules of the road ennit.

Image result for dogma rules of the road

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3 hours ago, BOF said:

That is brilliant :clap: 

When he lost his rag trying to find the recline leaver and shouted "BLOODY THING" I was screaming inside but calmly told him where it was . Then I had to politely say "Because of roadworks" every time he asked why i was going "this way".  

 

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5 hours ago, Paddywhack said:

There has been a problem with the water in our office and we haven't been able to flush the toilets for the last 2 days.

The taps and the urinals are working fine, but the ladies (and gents wanting to poop) are either having to cross their legs or walk to the toilets in the local shops and restaurants etc.

Isn't this one of those things where they legally have to close the office, like when there's no heating in the winter? I'd love to go home...

I wouldn't last 1 hour in there! Have to have my morning work shite by 10am latest. 

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