Judge Mental's Sexism and Misogyny Topic

[Demitri_C]

22 minutes ago, Davkaus said:

Any bloke here ever felt intimidated walking past a group of women on a dark street?

Depends are they armed or not?

[Davkaus]

Just now, Demitri_C said:

Depends are they armed or not?

Fair point, much easier to beat the shit out of the armless ones  

[bobzy]

1 minute ago, Demitri_C said:

Depends are they armed or not?

You've walked past a group of armed women on a dark street?

London is mad  

[Demitri_C]

2 minutes ago, Davkaus said:

Fair point, much easier to beat the shit out of the armless ones  

I have to admit i waa abit nervous once when i was in Chicago

 There was a group of women. All fat and i could see they were armed was thinking ill cross the street just to be on the safe side 

Also isnt that abit sexist saying we shouldnt be physically scared of women? im sure ronda rousey would kill all us men kn this site

Edited July 23, 2023 by Demitri_C

[Davkaus]

40 minutes ago, Demitri_C said:

Also isnt that abit sexist saying we shouldnt be physically scared of women? im sure ronda rousey would kill all us men kn this site

I don't think so. Obviously we're talking generalisations, and a smaller guy has every reason to be a bit nervous if there's an angry or agitated much larger woman with their sights on him, but in general, men are bigger, stronger, and more aggressive, and from a woman's perspective there is that dynamic of a physical power imbalance and uncertainty when there's an unwanted interaction with a man, particularly one they don't know.

I genuinely don't think I've ever felt physically threatened by a single woman or group of women in my life, whereas talking about similar issues with lady-folk, it's eye-opening realising how vigilant they feel the need to be, harassment happens pretty regularly, from when they're early teens, and the vast majority of women have regularly faced unwanted attention, from catcalling, to being followed, or groped, or rejecting a man and them not taking no for an answer. I know a few friends and colleagues who feel the need to carry a rape alarm, not because of the worst case scenario, but just because they've had creepy guys not taking no for an answer or felt they were being followed on the way home.

When we're talking about women being a danger to men, we're talking about theoretical or hugely unusual stories. when we're talking about men being a danger to women, it's sadly a daily worry for a lot of women.

And to bat away the retorts I'm sure would be coming from some posters, no this doesn't mean a woman has never attacked a man, it doesn't mean I'm saying every single woman lives in a state of perpetual fear, and it doesn't mean I'm saying every man is a predator.

Edited July 23, 2023 by Davkaus

[markavfc40]

I've got two daughters. The eldest is 25 years old and when she started going out to pubs, and especially to town centres for nights out, I was worried and the reason for that is because I knew what lads/men can be like. I would never have worried like that if I'd had boys and thought I'm worried as I know what women can be like. Having spoken to friends/family who have kids who are boys they don't have those same worries. Even though my eldest moved out a couple of years ago and lives with her boyfriend, even now if she goes out with her friends she still has to send me a text when she gets home to let me know she is back.

I have it all to go through again now with my youngest who is approaching 17. The joys of fatherhood  

Edited July 23, 2023 by markavfc40

[leemond2008]

1 hour ago, Davkaus said:

Any bloke here ever felt intimidated walking past a group of women on a dark street?

The one thing that  always gets me is if a woman is assaulted at 12:30am walking alone in a park there is always a quote that "women should have the right to feel safe walking through a park" and I always think to myself that despite being a big bloke I wouldn't walk through a park on my own at that time of night, I avoid a 5 minute walk to Tesco after it gets dark because there are so many bad bastards in my area, yes, the risk of me being sexually assaulted is far far far less than that of a woman but the risk of someone kicking **** out of me just to prove that they are a big man (or men) is possibly higher than that of a woman walking down the road (maybe not but the point still stands) everyone has the right to feel safe, but the world doesn't work like that unfortunately, there will always be arseholes  around, you just have to do everything you can to avoid them situations.

[bobzy]

17 minutes ago, leemond2008 said:

The one thing that  always gets me is if a woman is assaulted at 12:30am walking alone in a park there is always a quote that "women should have the right to feel safe walking through a park" and I always think to myself that despite being a big bloke I wouldn't walk through a park on my own at that time of night, I avoid a 5 minute walk to Tesco after it gets dark because there are so many bad bastards in my area, yes, the risk of me being sexually assaulted is far far far less than that of a woman but the risk of someone kicking **** out of me just to prove that they are a big man (or men) is possibly higher than that of a woman walking down the road (maybe not but the point still stands) everyone has the right to feel safe, but the world doesn't work like that unfortunately, there will always be arseholes  around, you just have to do everything you can to avoid them situations.

Victim blaming is always cool. 

[leemond2008]

11 minutes ago, bobzy said:

Victim blaming is always cool. 

Good productive response there, I'll just go and stick to the funny pics and music threads 

[chrisp65]

20 minutes ago, leemond2008 said:

The one thing that  always gets me is if a woman is assaulted at 12:30am walking alone in a park there is always a quote that "women should have the right to feel safe walking through a park" and I always think to myself that despite being a big bloke I wouldn't walk through a park on my own at that time of night, I avoid a 5 minute walk to Tesco after it gets dark because there are so many bad bastards in my area, yes, the risk of me being sexually assaulted is far far far less than that of a woman but the risk of someone kicking **** out of me just to prove that they are a big man (or men) is possibly higher than that of a woman walking down the road (maybe not but the point still stands) everyone has the right to feel safe, but the world doesn't work like that unfortunately, there will always be arseholes  around, you just have to do everything you can to avoid them situations.

I see a self preservation logic to this. I wouldn’t walk across Hyde Park in the dark. I agree, but there’s a problem because the same logic gets extended and extended when it comes to women in a way it doesn’t for men. Imagine this slippery slope:

We should have a system where we tell men they shouldn’t walk in the park at night. In fact, men shouldn’t really go out in the dark. Or go out drinking without an escort such as a wife or their mother. In fact it would be safer if men didn’t go to the pub, if pubs were just four women there would be less problems in pubs fopr men. I mean why would a man even be there if not for women’s attention?  In fact men shouldn’t wear provocative clothes, no more polo shirts, no more jeans, actually it would be better if they wore a big black sack so they don’t look like they’re asking for it. Thinking about it men should stay home, practise DIY, put up shelves, and kept their hair covered.

So it’s bloody difficult. Of course a single woman shouldn’t walk through a park in the dark if she can avoid it. But we can’t make that the rule because in reality unfortunately the rapists and muggers won’t promise to stay in the park. 

 

 

[Demitri_C]

8 hours ago, bobzy said:

Victim blaming is always cool. 

I dont mean to speak for @leemond2008 but  thats not what he said

Edited July 24, 2023 by Demitri_C

[Stevo985]

8 hours ago, leemond2008 said:

The one thing that  always gets me is if a woman is assaulted at 12:30am walking alone in a park there is always a quote that "women should have the right to feel safe walking through a park" and I always think to myself that despite being a big bloke I wouldn't walk through a park on my own at that time of night, I avoid a 5 minute walk to Tesco after it gets dark because there are so many bad bastards in my area, yes, the risk of me being sexually assaulted is far far far less than that of a woman but the risk of someone kicking **** out of me just to prove that they are a big man (or men) is possibly higher than that of a woman walking down the road (maybe not but the point still stands) everyone has the right to feel safe, but the world doesn't work like that unfortunately, there will always be arseholes  around, you just have to do everything you can to avoid them situations.

You're right of course. Everyone should use their common sense to stay safe.

The problem is staying safe as a bloke might mean avoiding dodgy characters and areas late at night like you said.

As a woman it means avoiding completely normal, safe areas, at most times of the day. If you were "Staying safe" as a woman, you'd basically never leave the house.

[CVByrne]

On 23/07/2023 at 03:14, LondonLax said:

Another possibility could be that plenty of people were offended in ‘the good old days’ but often felt like they were in a minority and had better keep it to themselves for fear of ‘rocking the boat’?

I think how people react to being offended has changed significantly. I think people were more resilient than the Gen Z generation. Also with prevalence of social media people are exposed to millions of people now so have and endless sea of thing to be offended by. 

[Davkaus]

10 minutes ago, CVByrne said:

I think how people react to being offended has changed significantly. I think people were more resilient than the Gen Z generation. 

That's one way to look at it. Another is that people are now more assertive and less willing to silently put up with people's bullshit.

[LondonLax]

7 minutes ago, Davkaus said:

That's one way to look at it. Another is that people are now more assertive and less willing to silently put up with people's bullshit.

I think this is where we’re at myself. 

The power of anonymity on the internet has given people the courage to speak up instead of staying quiet and taking it. 

Edited July 24, 2023 by LondonLax

[CVByrne]

6 minutes ago, Davkaus said:

That's one way to look at it. Another is that people are now more assertive and less willing to silently put up with people's bullshit.

This is also true. Especially because in an online environment what people do is there as evidence. Where if you said something in person people can always deny they said something. 

[tonyh29]

20 hours ago, Mark Albrighton said:

By the 70’s, you have Porridge, another revered sitcom. There’s a black character and a gay character. There are jokes made about one being black and one being gay which wouldn’t happen now, but the characters are accepted by those around them as equals. 

I watched a documentary the other month about Porirdge and they spoke about how it was really progressive for its time   ..it didn't' make fun of either the black or the gay character .. Biggins character there was a suggestion he  was gay but never even mentioned  and never used for cheap laughs  .. the jokes about Jim Mclaren were all about him being Scottish , not black 

It's been a while since i watched them so I couldn't swear this is the case , but it was certainly what they said on the Documentary 

 

[bobzy]

3 hours ago, Demitri_C said:

I dont mean to speak for @leemond2008 but  thats not what he said

“You just have to do everything you can to avoid them situations”.

It’s pretty much exactly that. The problem isn’t a person choosing to walk through a park, the problem is that we have people who assault others.

It’s the same sort of comment as “well she should’ve covered up, then she wouldn’t get attacked”. 

[bickster]

36 minutes ago, bobzy said:

“You just have to do everything you can to avoid them situations”.

It’s pretty much exactly that. The problem isn’t a person choosing to walk through a park, the problem is that we have people who assault others.

It’s the same sort of comment as “well she should’ve covered up, then she wouldn’t get attacked”. 

Also no different to she was asking for it wearing that skirt

[Mark Albrighton]

2 hours ago, tonyh29 said:

I watched a documentary the other month about Porirdge and they spoke about how it was really progressive for its time   ..it didn't' make fun of either the black or the gay character .. Biggins character there was a suggestion he  was gay but never even mentioned  and never used for cheap laughs  .. the jokes about Jim Mclaren were all about him being Scottish , not black 

It's been a while since i watched them so I couldn't swear this is the case , but it was certainly what they said on the Documentary 

 

There are a few jokes about him being black. Not even close to being the worst stuff you’d ever hear obviously, but they wouldn’t be used today.

I’m conscious that my original post might sound like I think that comedy smoothly becomes less problematic over the years. It does change in that regard, but even if Porridge treats its gay and black characters better than its sitcom contemporaries, there will be subsequent shows in the late 70’s or 80’s which wouldn’t have aged as well.

It improves but there are bumps along the way.