Paddywhack Posted October 15, 2020 Share Posted October 15, 2020 On 19/01/2020 at 18:29, Paddywhack said: I just spent £1000 on a rented limousine and found out it doesn’t come with a driver. Can’t believe I spent all that money have nothing to chauffeur it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted October 15, 2020 Share Posted October 15, 2020 On 12/10/2020 at 16:30, Xann said: Can’t believe how rude the suppository helpline was. Best joke for a while (nicked) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Tegis Posted October 17, 2020 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted October 17, 2020 Two burglars are robbing a liquor store. One turns to the other and asks, “Is this whiskey?” The other replies, “Yeah, but not as wisky as wobbing a bank.” 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nigel Posted October 18, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted October 18, 2020 If you are struggling for help at b&q just head to isle 20 and try to start up a chainsaw! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 We have all heard of the historical figure Karl Marx But who remembers his sister Onya, who invented the starting pistol 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mottaloo Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 1 hour ago, Robtaylor200 said: We have all heard of the historical figure Karl Marx But who remembers his sister Onya, who invented the starting pistol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tegis Posted October 22, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted October 22, 2020 Did you hear about the cheese factory in France that exploded ? There was nothing left but de brie 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted October 23, 2020 Share Posted October 23, 2020 I was offered sex from a lovely 21-year-old bit of clunge today. In exchange I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner on my Facebook wall. Of course, I declined because of my morals and strong willpower. Which is just as strong as AJAX. The super strong bathroom cleaner, now available in lemon scent and vanilla. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted October 23, 2020 Share Posted October 23, 2020 A little boy went running into his grandfather's hospital room. Excited, he shrieked "Grandpa! Make a noise like a frog!" The grandpa replies "Why?" Still excited, the little boy replies "Because Grandma says that as soon as you croak, we're going to Disneyland!" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted October 23, 2020 Share Posted October 23, 2020 As a couple gets into bed, the husband starts to rub and kiss his wife. She turns over and says, "I'm sorry, honey. I've got a gynaecologist appointment tomorrow, and I want to stay fresh." The husband sadly turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife. "Do you have a proctology appointment, too?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StefanAVFC Posted October 23, 2020 Share Posted October 23, 2020 Little Jonny runs to his mum and says 'mummy, mummy, Granny's got a prawn!!' His mum is a bit confused, so takes Jonny's hand and follows him into the living room where Grandma has fallen asleep naked. She laughs 'don't be silly Jonny, that's not a prawn, it's Granny's vagina' Jonny replied, 'but mummy, it tastes like a prawn'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theboyangel Posted October 23, 2020 Share Posted October 23, 2020 1 hour ago, StefanAVFC said: Little Jonny runs to his mum and says 'mummy, mummy, Granny's got a prawn!!' His mum is a bit confused, so takes Jonny's hand and follows him into the living room where Grandma has fallen asleep naked. She laughs 'don't be silly Jonny, that's not a prawn, it's Granny's vagina' Jonny replied, 'but mummy, it tastes like a prawn'. just remembering the first time he heard that joke 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted October 25, 2020 Share Posted October 25, 2020 Two chaps in a pub "Do you want to hear my Batman impression" "Go on" " Oh noooooooooo Kryptonite" "That's Super man"" "Thank you I have been practising a lot" 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted October 25, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted October 25, 2020 I wanted to buy a Dracula costume for Halloween but the guy in the shop gave me a Birmingham City shirt instead. "I think you misheard me", I said. "I said I wanted to look like a Count..." 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted October 26, 2020 Share Posted October 26, 2020 On 25/10/2020 at 12:59, Robtaylor200 said: Two chaps in a pub "Do you want to hear my Batman impression" "Go on" " Oh noooooooooo Kryptonite" "That's Super man"" "Thank you I have been practising a lot" 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted October 26, 2020 Share Posted October 26, 2020 1 hour ago, rjw63 said: Ahh come on RJ, you dont have the sole right to bad jokes 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 and here's another My mate asked me this morning, what's the difference between the people from Dabi and the people from Abadabi . It seems that the people from Dabi do not like the Flintstones. But the people from Abadabi do 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 1 hour ago, Robtaylor200 said: and here's another My mate asked me this morning, what's the difference between the people from Dabi and the people from Abadabi . It seems that the people from Dabi do not like the Flintstones. But the people from Abadabi do 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choffer Posted October 27, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted October 27, 2020 2 hours ago, Robtaylor200 said: and here's another My mate asked me this morning, what's the difference between the people from Dabi and the people from Abadabi . It seems that the people from Dabi do not like the Flintstones. But the people from Abadabi do Butchered it. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted October 27, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted October 27, 2020 Somebody post the correct version, FFS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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