Ponky Posted April 20, 2018 Share Posted April 20, 2018 Man walks into a funeral and asks the widow if he might say a word. By all means, she says. He stands up and says "plethora", and sits back down. Thanks, says the widow. That means a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post choffer Posted April 20, 2018 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted April 20, 2018 (edited) 7 minutes ago, Ponky said: Man walks into a funeral and asks the widow if he might say a word. By all means, she says. He stands up and says "plethora", and sits back down. Thanks, says the widow. That means a lot. Reminds me of a similar joke. To the man who translated "beaucoup" for me. Thanks, it means a lot. Edited April 20, 2018 by choffer 2 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted April 20, 2018 Share Posted April 20, 2018 What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye matey. 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted April 20, 2018 Moderator Share Posted April 20, 2018 1 hour ago, Ponky said: Man walks into a funeral and asks the widow if he might say a word. By all means, she says. He stands up and says "plethora", and sits back down. Thanks, says the widow. That means a lot. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted April 20, 2018 Share Posted April 20, 2018 So there's this man and he's died and a different man says to the woman, "Can I say something?" She says "Fill your boots" He says "Plethora" She says "Thanks, that was lovely" 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFC_Hitz Posted April 20, 2018 Share Posted April 20, 2018 1 hour ago, choffer said: Reminds me of a similar joke. To the man who translated "beaucoup" for me. Thanks, it means a lot. What the hell just happened? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choffer Posted April 20, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted April 20, 2018 26 minutes ago, AVFC_Hitz said: What the hell just happened? Zero credit to the source, I'm afraid. Sorry about that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Robtaylor200 Posted April 22, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted April 22, 2018 London Marathon wish me luck I am going for a P.B. last year I managed 3hrs 23 minutes, before I got bored watching and put a film on 4 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted April 22, 2018 Share Posted April 22, 2018 My mate in the Pub said "do you fancy running the Ironbridge half marathon" I said "you have to be joking" he said "come on its for blind and handicap people" and you know . I thought I could win that , why not 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted April 22, 2018 Share Posted April 22, 2018 On 20/04/2018 at 14:39, Paddywhack said: What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye matey. I'm nicking this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
il_serpente Posted April 24, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted April 24, 2018 Q: What do you get when you mix human DNA and goat DNA? A: Kicked out of the petting zoo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post il_serpente Posted April 24, 2018 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted April 24, 2018 My wife asked me the other day, "Are you even listening to me??" Which is a pretty odd way to start a conversation if you ask me. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted April 24, 2018 Share Posted April 24, 2018 My wife said She was weaving me for a mother plan because I don't listen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post StefanAVFC Posted April 24, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted April 24, 2018 I was at a funeral and my wife asked if she could say a word I said no She said plethora I said aye matey 1 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted April 24, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted April 24, 2018 On 17/05/2013 at 11:28, PussEKatt said: An Australian buisnessman sells his company to a japaneese buisnessman and he has to travel to Japan to finalise the deal. He gets picked up at the airport by a chaffur driven car and taken to the best hotel in Tokyo and finds that he has a beautiful prostitute laid on for him as well. That night he gives her one and she keeps yelling " @#$% @#$% " The next morning he thinks, she enjoyed the sex so much last night that he gives her another go this morning, and again she keeps yelling " @#$% @#$%' He meets the Japanese buisnessman and signs the papers and the Japanese buisnessman invites him to a round of golf. They are at the 18th hole and he decides to miss his 4 foot putt on purpose as his whole time in Tokyo has been great. So he missis his putt, and when the Japaneese man puts his in to win the game, he shouts "@#$% @#$%" Japanese buisnessman...." what do you mean wrong hole" Throwback to the weirdest joke in the thread I miss PussEKatt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blandy Posted April 24, 2018 Moderator Share Posted April 24, 2018 On 20/04/2018 at 15:43, Paddywhack said: So there's this man and he's died and a different man says to the woman, "Can I say something?" She says "Fill your boots" He says "Plethora" She says "Thanks, that was lovely" There was also another funeral and yet another widow and a man asked the widow if he might say a word "go ahead" she replied the man stood up and said "alternatives" and sat down again She was confused, but thought it must have meant something or other. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted April 24, 2018 Share Posted April 24, 2018 Sadly, there was another funeral. A man asked the widow if he could say a word, she said he could, He said "Earth". She said "Thanks, that means the world to me." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post blandy Posted April 24, 2018 Moderator Popular Post Share Posted April 24, 2018 at yet another funeral. A man asked the widow if he could say a word She said he could, He said "Vienna". She said "Oh! Vienna? ...this means nothing to me." 7 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted April 24, 2018 Moderator Share Posted April 24, 2018 Make it stop. 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Stevo985 Posted April 24, 2018 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted April 24, 2018 (edited) Reminds me of another funeral I was at A man asked the widow if he could say a few words, she said he could, He stood up and said "De-oxygenated blood", before sitting back down again. She turned to him and said "Thanks, that came from the heart" Edited April 24, 2018 by Stevo985 3 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts