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WAHEY! It's a JOKE thread : Enter at your own risk.


villadude

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14 minutes ago, drat01 said:

Said to my mate, "I just watched that film about the Nazis."

He said, "Oh what, the one with Adolf in?"

I said, "No mate, you're thinking of 'Flipper', this was just about the Nazis."

Thank God you're back. The rest of us have been struggling to come up with enough appalling puns and bad jokes to keep the site going. :P

 

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On 05/02/2004 at 19:35, ligs said:

Two nuns in the shower:

 

Nun1 - Where's the soap?

Nun2 - It does, doesn't it.

 

:oops: Sorry

This was the first proper dirty joke I was ever told.  I didn't get it so my mate just repeated it over and over again, slowly, with emphasis, and I still didn't get it, after 10 minute of humiliation he just explained it. Kind of took the edge off it. 

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I had one of those brilliant moments the other day when a great pun just came to me immediately at just the right time.

A girl from work came over to a large group to demand who had stolen the last of her wheetabix. 

"I don't know know" I replied "but I bet he was a cereal offender"  A very pleasing number of groans duly followed. 

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9 minutes ago, sidcow said:

I had one of those brilliant moments the other day when a great pun just came to me immediately at just the right time.

A girl from work came over to a large group to demand who had stolen the last of her wheetabix. 

"I don't know know" I replied "but I bet he was a cereal offender"  A very pleasing number of groans duly followed. 

Sounds like your joke got a Frostie reception..... 

 

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4 hours ago, drat01 said:

went into an Indian restaurant, waiter asked "curry OK?" - I replied "I might do summer loving after I have finished my meal"

giphy.gif

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A feminist was pointing out the many superiorities women have over men and I was at a loss refuting any of them, until her crowning statement that among their greatest abilities women could multi task.

So I told her to shut up and sit down, you know what she couldn't do either, although my black eye is now getting better.

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For the first time in many years, @drat01 travelled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn. Handing the attendant £2.50, he couldn't help but comment "The last time I came to the movies, popcorn was only 40p".

"Well, sir" the attendant replied with a smirk, "You're really going to enjoy yourself. We have sound now".

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On 3/30/2018 at 12:36, rjw63 said:

A feminist was pointing out the many superiorities women have over men and I was at a loss refuting any of them, until her crowning statement that among their greatest abilities women could multi task.

So I told her to shut up and sit down, you know what she couldn't do either, although my black eye is now getting better.

I'm a bloke and i can multi task......

....i can watch tv and drink beer at the same time :)

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45 minutes ago, mjmooney said:

Without spilling any? 

 

21 minutes ago, chrisp65 said:

oooh, are you setting 100% as the pass mark?

Its too expensive to waste :cheers:

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