blandy Posted March 29, 2018 Moderator Share Posted March 29, 2018 14 minutes ago, drat01 said: Said to my mate, "I just watched that film about the Nazis." He said, "Oh what, the one with Adolf in?" I said, "No mate, you're thinking of 'Flipper', this was just about the Nazis." Thank God you're back. The rest of us have been struggling to come up with enough appalling puns and bad jokes to keep the site going. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Risso Posted March 29, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted March 29, 2018 A Russian spy, an IRA supporter and a racist walk into a bar. ‘What are you drinking tonight Mr. Corbyn?’ asks the barman. 1 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidcow Posted March 29, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted March 29, 2018 On 05/02/2004 at 19:35, ligs said: Two nuns in the shower: Nun1 - Where's the soap? Nun2 - It does, doesn't it. :oops: Sorry This was the first proper dirty joke I was ever told. I didn't get it so my mate just repeated it over and over again, slowly, with emphasis, and I still didn't get it, after 10 minute of humiliation he just explained it. Kind of took the edge off it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidcow Posted March 29, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted March 29, 2018 I had one of those brilliant moments the other day when a great pun just came to me immediately at just the right time. A girl from work came over to a large group to demand who had stolen the last of her wheetabix. "I don't know know" I replied "but I bet he was a cereal offender" A very pleasing number of groans duly followed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theboyangel Posted March 29, 2018 Share Posted March 29, 2018 9 minutes ago, sidcow said: I had one of those brilliant moments the other day when a great pun just came to me immediately at just the right time. A girl from work came over to a large group to demand who had stolen the last of her wheetabix. "I don't know know" I replied "but I bet he was a cereal offender" A very pleasing number of groans duly followed. Sounds like your joke got a Frostie reception..... 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidcow Posted March 29, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted March 29, 2018 10 minutes ago, theboyangel said: Sounds like your joke got a Frostie reception..... It did so I thought to myself "Alpen another one" 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theboyangel Posted March 29, 2018 Share Posted March 29, 2018 11 minutes ago, sidcow said: It did so I thought to myself "Alpen another one" Very a-muesli-ing 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidcow Posted March 29, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted March 29, 2018 4 minutes ago, theboyangel said: Very a-muesli-ing I think it's time to say our cheerios before this develops into a punathon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted March 29, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted March 29, 2018 Cornflakes. 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post drat01 Posted March 30, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted March 30, 2018 went into an Indian restaurant, waiter asked "curry OK?" - I replied "I might do summer loving after I have finished my meal" 6 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 4 hours ago, drat01 said: went into an Indian restaurant, waiter asked "curry OK?" - I replied "I might do summer loving after I have finished my meal" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 A feminist was pointing out the many superiorities women have over men and I was at a loss refuting any of them, until her crowning statement that among their greatest abilities women could multi task. So I told her to shut up and sit down, you know what she couldn't do either, although my black eye is now getting better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 For the first time in many years, @drat01 travelled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn. Handing the attendant £2.50, he couldn't help but comment "The last time I came to the movies, popcorn was only 40p". "Well, sir" the attendant replied with a smirk, "You're really going to enjoy yourself. We have sound now". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted March 31, 2018 Moderator Share Posted March 31, 2018 On 29/03/2018 at 21:24, sidcow said: Kind of took the edge off it. It does, doesn't it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imavillan Posted March 31, 2018 Share Posted March 31, 2018 On 3/30/2018 at 12:36, rjw63 said: A feminist was pointing out the many superiorities women have over men and I was at a loss refuting any of them, until her crowning statement that among their greatest abilities women could multi task. So I told her to shut up and sit down, you know what she couldn't do either, although my black eye is now getting better. I'm a bloke and i can multi task...... ....i can watch tv and drink beer at the same time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted March 31, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted March 31, 2018 30 minutes ago, imavillan said: I'm a bloke and i can multi task...... ....i can watch tv and drink beer at the same time Without spilling any? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted March 31, 2018 Share Posted March 31, 2018 20 minutes ago, mjmooney said: Without spilling any? oooh, are you setting 100% as the pass mark? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imavillan Posted March 31, 2018 Share Posted March 31, 2018 45 minutes ago, mjmooney said: Without spilling any? 21 minutes ago, chrisp65 said: oooh, are you setting 100% as the pass mark? Its too expensive to waste Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post rjw63 Posted April 6, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted April 6, 2018 I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today. I asked her "When's it due?" She said "I'm not **** pregnant!" I said "I meant the bus you fat word removed". 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xann Posted April 7, 2018 Share Posted April 7, 2018 How do you titillate an ocelot? Oscillate its tits a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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