TrinityRoadSteps Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 I would like to be a golf professional. I think I have the drive to succeed 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NurembergVillan Posted June 18, 2014 Moderator Share Posted June 18, 2014 Spain... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 I would like to be a golf professional. I think I have the drive to succeed You fit the role to a tee, bet you could earn a wedge if you bunker down and iron out your flaws. I'll putt in a good word for you. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blandy Posted June 19, 2014 Moderator Share Posted June 19, 2014 I'd quite like a job cleaning mirrors. It's something I could see myself doing. I used to think the same, but on reflection, I didn't like the idea of being watched the whole time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted June 20, 2014 Share Posted June 20, 2014 "I don't really know my best position. left, right or centre" "Wayne, just get on the **** plane and pick an aisle will you." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomaspg Posted June 20, 2014 Share Posted June 20, 2014 Im selling filofaxes to criminals, one can say im involved in very organized crime 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post PussEKatt Posted June 23, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted June 23, 2014 I was in the pub the other day and I was telling my mate that joke about "what do you do when an epeleptic falls in the bath" of corse the answer is "throw in your washing" when I felt a tap on my shoulder and this really big guy says " I dont find that very funny,my brother is an epeleptic and he died in the bath" I said I was very sorry to hear that and offered to buy him a drink. While we were waiting for the drink to arrive I asked " so how did your brother die,did he drown ?" No he choked on a sock 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meath_Villan Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 Herself said we can watch World Cup but only if we eat food from the country that's playing! Yesterday for USA we had jumbo burgers! Today for Mexico we'll have Taco's Tomorrow for England ..... We're going out ! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 I guess you can't include Irish food in that joke. Yet another thing they didn't qualify for 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meath_Villan Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 I guess you can't include Irish food in that joke. Yet another thing they didn't qualify for Twas only a joke fella Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 As was mine, hence the Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomaspg Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 Whats the difference between England and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Risso Posted June 24, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted June 24, 2014 I was in the pub the other day and I was telling my mate that joke about "what do you do when an epeleptic falls in the bath" of corse the answer is "throw in your washing" when I felt a tap on my shoulder and this really big guy says " I dont find that very funny,my brother is an epeleptic and he died in the bath" I said I was very sorry to hear that and offered to buy him a drink. While we were waiting for the drink to arrive I asked " so how did your brother die,did he drown ?" No he choked on a sock STOP THE INTERNET! Looks at poster's name, reads joke expecting it to not be anything remotely funny at all, but wait, what's this?! It's a joke, and a funny one at that!! Even better, it's almost two jokes in one. Awesome times. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted June 25, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted June 25, 2014 That's 2 now for PussEKatt He (?) is upping his game! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post rjw63 Posted June 25, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted June 25, 2014 My wife is a big tennis fan and was telling me how distracting she finds the constant grunting noises during the women's matches. I have promised her I will stop. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PussEKatt Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Are you guys encouraging me ?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 A little girl was puzzled as to her origin. "How did I get here, mummy?" Her mum said, using a well-worn phrase "The good Lord sent you". "And did Lord send you too, mummy?" "Yes, dear, He did". "And grandma and great grandma and daddy, too?" asked the little girl. Again the answer was "Yes". The child shook her head in disbelief. "Then you mean to tell me there has been no sex in this family for 200 years? No wonder everyone is so **** up" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 An old guy goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution. When he gets there, he discovers the Urologist is a very pretty female doctor. The female doctor says "I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to. I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say, '99'. The old guy obeys and says "99". The doctor says "Great" now turn over on your left side and again, while I repeat the check, take a deep breath and say, '99'". Again, the old guy says "99". The doctor said "Very good". "Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly. I'm going to check your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand I'm going to hold on to your penis to keep it out of the way. Now take a deep breath and say, '99'". The old guy begins "One... two... three..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PussEKatt Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 An Irish man on a quiz show: For $ 64000 which creature in greek mithology was half man half beast ? Irish man: er ...was it Buffalo Bill 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post StanBalaban Posted July 3, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted July 3, 2014 An Irish man on a quiz show: For $ 64000 which creature in greek mithology was half man half beast ? Irish man: er ...was it Buffalo Bill And normal service is resumed. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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