useless Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 What did the cheese say to the mirror? Halloumi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted February 18, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted February 18, 2014 Anyone watch the Undateables? There was a bit where one of the guys told that joke "What cheese would you use to lure a bear out of a cave? Camembert!" But he told it: "What's a bear's favourite cheese? COME-ON-BEAR" Made no sense and just sounded dirty. I lol'd. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted February 18, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted February 18, 2014 What cheese would you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shillzz Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 Come on bear, the more you think about it, the dirtier it gets. Was that by any chance the same fella that told the fun-guy joke? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
useless Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 What's yellow and invisble? No Cheese. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 "It's sodomy. It isn't gay love, it isn't natural, it isn't acceptable in the eyes of the lord, it isn't a right," preached the priest from the pulpit. "And it isn't my turn this week," shouted a choirboy from the back of the church. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 You know you've got bad breath when your rape victim suggests you do her doggy style instead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turnbull Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 Got caught speeding in Worcester city centre yesterday. Bastards, I was only doing 30 knots! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drat01 Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 No one saw that my wig was on crooked when i went to mass recently. It was a blessing in disguise 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 If Chuck Norris was a robot test-pilot, would that make him Chuck Yeager? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 Phone rings, woman answers. The pervert, with heavy breathing, says "Have you got a tight shaven word removed?" Woman replies "Yes, he's watching television - who shall I say is calling?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Designer1 Posted March 5, 2014 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted March 5, 2014 I've got a joke about Sean Connery's brother's youngest daughter... It's a little niche. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turnbull Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 Went on a date with a dentist last night. Think everything went ok, she said she wants to see me again in 6 months 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ikantcpell Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 What do you say to a crying Turkish baby ?.. Shish kebaby! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voinjama Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 the last page has had some real stinkers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Designer1 Posted March 6, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted March 6, 2014 (edited) One day, Jesus is taking a walk and comes upon a group of people who are about to stone a woman to death for adultery. Jesus says: "Let he among you who is without sin cast the first... " SMASH! Jesus is interrupted by a stone cracking him square on the head. He looks at the crowd trying to identify the culprit who threw the stone at him. Suddenly he gets a disappointed look on his face, and says "Oh **** hell mom!" Edited March 6, 2014 by Designer1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8pints Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 One day, Jesus is taking a walk and comes upon a group of people who are about to stone a woman to death for adultery. Jesus says: "Let he among you who is without sin cast the first... " SMASH! Jesus is interrupted by a stone cracking him square on the head. He looks at the crowd trying to identify the culprit who threw the stone at him. Suddenly he gets a disappointed look on his face, and says "Oh **** hell mom!" Haha reminds me of this - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooBYzS3OFL8 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Designer1 Posted March 6, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted March 6, 2014 One day, Jesus is taking a walk and comes upon a group of people who are about to stone a woman to death for adultery. Jesus says: "Let he among you who is without sin cast the first... " SMASH! Jesus is interrupted by a stone cracking him square on the head. He looks at the crowd trying to identify the culprit who threw the stone at him. Suddenly he gets a disappointed look on his face, and says "Oh **** hell mom!" Haha reminds me of this - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooBYzS3OFL8 Brilliant. Love Rebecca Front. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post CarewsEyebrowDesigner Posted March 6, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted March 6, 2014 A book falls on Sean Connery's lap. He says, 'I've only got my shelf to blame'. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post rjw63 Posted March 7, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted March 7, 2014 I'm doing a charity gig tonight for people who struggle to achieve orgasm. Don't worry if you can't come. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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