Risso Posted April 29, 2012 Share Posted April 29, 2012 Bloody hell, that's even older than Rob's! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted April 29, 2012 VT Supporter Share Posted April 29, 2012 Yeah, if Rob gets abused for his, then that deserves some too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brumerican Posted April 29, 2012 Share Posted April 29, 2012 I doubt that winding the window down would have any effect whatsoever on the surrounding temperature. That particular Irishman has been severely misinformed. Maybe he should have watched a little more Bear Grylls and a little less Laurel and Hardy. The Irish always seem come out these anecdotes in a bad light . Major Reform on the emerald isle is in order if you ask me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PussEKatt Posted April 29, 2012 Share Posted April 29, 2012 Did you hear about the Irish penalty taker ? The goalie sent him the wrong way Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PussEKatt Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 I was at the movies last week with Alex.He went out to have a smoke and a georgus blond came and sat in his seat. Me:you can"t sit there,my friend is sitting there. Blond:I will be your friend. Me: No he is my best friend. Blond:Grabs my hand and shoves it down the front of her panties and says.That is your best friend ? Me"No my friend is a bigger word removed than that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted April 30, 2012 Moderator Share Posted April 30, 2012 I doubt that winding the window down would have any effect whatsoever on the surrounding temperature. That particular Irishman has been severely misinformed. Maybe he should have watched a little more Bear Grylls and a little less Laurel and Hardy. The Irish always seem come out these anecdotes in a bad light . Major Reform on the emerald isle is in order if you ask me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 I was at the movies last week with Alex.He went out to have a smoke and a georgus blond came and sat in his seat. Me:you can"t sit there,my friend is sitting there. Blond:I will be your friend. Me: No he is my best friend. Blond:Grabs my hand and shoves it down the front of her panties and says.That is your best friend ? Me"No my friend is a bigger word removed than that. Don't quit your day job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 Lukas Podolski: "I'm moving to Arsenal to win trophies". And they say the Germans don't have a sense of humour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irreverentad Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 My mate set me up on a blind date. He said, "She's a lovely girl, but there's something you should know... She's expecting a baby." I felt like a right **** idiot waiting in the pub wearing nothing but a nappy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irreverentad Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 I'm really worried about my parrot. He keeps saying, "I can't go on, I hate my life". My room-mate's too selfish to notice. He's always crying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irreverentad Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 "Jesus loves you." A nice gesture in church. A horrific thing to hear in a Mexican prison. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PieFacE Posted May 2, 2012 VT Supporter Share Posted May 2, 2012 My mate is shagging twins who both like it up the arse. I asked "How do you tell them apart?". That's easy he said.... Sally has massive tits and a shaved fanny, and Dereks got a mustache and big bollocks! I was pretty excited when my new girlfriend sent me a text claiming she loves anal. Dyslexic bitch, it turns out she loves Alan, my best mate... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Designer1 Posted May 2, 2012 VT Supporter Share Posted May 2, 2012 My mate set me up on a blind date. He said, "She's a lovely girl, but there's something you should know... She's expecting a baby." I felt like a right **** idiot waiting in the pub wearing nothing but a nappy! Brilliant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brumerican Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 ARE YOU INSURED FOR SEX? Make sure you get the correct insurance for the sex you are having. Below you will find a list of companies, catering for most tastes. 1. Sex with wife: Legal & General. 2. Sex on the phone: Direct Line. 3. Sex with partner: Standard Life. 4. Sex with someone different: Go Compare. 5. Sex with a fat bird: More Than. 6. Sex in a car: Sheila's Wheels. 7. Sex with a posh bird: Privileged. 8. Sex with a tranny: Confused.com. From Sickipedia (As is is most of the funny shit I post ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted May 3, 2012 Moderator Share Posted May 3, 2012 My mate is shagging twins who both like it up the arse. I asked "How do you tell them apart?". That's easy he said.... Sally has massive tits and a shaved fanny, and Dereks got a mustache and big bollocks!Best laugh I've had in a while. Wasn't expecting that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PussEKatt Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 Man goes into a brothel and steps into a large room with 3 doors marked Big Tits Small Tits and Medium Tits. He walks into the room marked Big Tits and is in another room with 3 doors marked. Blonds Brunetts and redheads. He walks into the room marked Blonds, and he is in another room with 3 doors marked Big C#@t$ Medium C#@t$ and Small C#@t$ He walkes into the room marked Big C#@t$ and out into the street. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PussEKatt Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 German commandant in a POW camp: Today we will change our underwear. Hut 1 will change with hut 2 Hut 3 will change with hut 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 Your jokes are shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irreverentad Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 Me and the wife were in the shopping centre earlier, where we rounded a corner to see a gaggle of young girls, all wearing next to nothing, pouring out of hmv. "Phoarr!", I said to the wife, pointing at a gorgeous lass of about twenty. "I bet you'd **** love to have legs like her." She didn't respond, but I could tell she was upset. I could hear the sobs as I wheeled her up the ramp into debenhams. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phily85 Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 They say 'In space no one can hear you scream' You can say that about a lot of places. Like a desert. Or Portugal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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