BOF Posted September 7, 2020 Moderator Share Posted September 7, 2020 On 05/09/2020 at 14:11, veloman said: I have been trying to understand this LGBTQ business; but I can't get a straight answer. You should post that on twitter. They'll be able to help you out. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Paddywhack Posted September 10, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted September 10, 2020 I used to get told off in assembly for miming during hymns. Everyone else was singing 'Morning Has Broken' and I was pretending to be trapped in a glass box. 3 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post AJ Posted September 14, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted September 14, 2020 My mate has been shagging twins, who both like it up the wrong un. I asked him, " So, how do you tell them apart?" " Oh that's easy. Carol has big jubblies, and Barry has a mustache." 2 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJ Posted September 14, 2020 Share Posted September 14, 2020 A little old lady was at the ATM, and she asked me if I could help check her balance. So I pushed her. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJ Posted September 14, 2020 Share Posted September 14, 2020 Thought I would do my bit for the environment , and switch off the lights. Gave that idea up after I ran over a cyclist. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Robtaylor200 Posted September 17, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted September 17, 2020 (edited) As a Star wars fan I was very surprised to find out Yoda has a second name Lehheyho. Edited September 17, 2020 by Robtaylor200 2 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theboyangel Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 2 hours ago, Robtaylor200 said: As a Star wars fan I was very surprised to find out Yoda has a second name Lehheyho. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PussEKatt Posted September 18, 2020 Share Posted September 18, 2020 I was stood at the buss stop when a little old lady came up to me and said "downtown busses pass this way" I said "do da do da 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Designer1 Posted September 18, 2020 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted September 18, 2020 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Robtaylor200 Posted September 18, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted September 18, 2020 My 4 year old grandson has been studying Spanish for a whole year and still cant say please Which I think is poor for four 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted September 18, 2020 Share Posted September 18, 2020 On 17/09/2020 at 16:53, Robtaylor200 said: As a Star wars fan I was very surprised to find out Yoda has a second name Lehheyho. My mate who is a real Star wars fan says Yoda is actually his second name and that his full name is Minch Yoda that's not even slightly funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Robtaylor200 Posted September 20, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted September 20, 2020 REM and me, That's me in the corner 2 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blandy Posted September 20, 2020 Moderator Share Posted September 20, 2020 12 minutes ago, Robtaylor200 said: REM and me, That's me in the corner A murmur of applause for that one. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colhint Posted September 20, 2020 Share Posted September 20, 2020 Two cops in a patrol car watching a pub near closing time. Four guys come out one swaying all over the place, bumping into cars and stumbling. They drive up next to him. " i hope you are not driving sir" I'll be alright officer, then stumbles again. we need you to take a breathalizer test Why for gods sake. Because of the way you are. So he takes the test, The one cop says I can't believe it, he's totally sober. "I know mate, I'm the designated drunk" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theboyangel Posted September 20, 2020 Share Posted September 20, 2020 1 hour ago, colhint said: Two cops in a patrol car watching a pub near closing time. Four guys come out one swaying all over the place, bumping into cars and stumbling. They drive up next to him. " i hope you are not driving sir" I'll be alright officer, then stumbles again. we need you to take a breathalizer test Why for gods sake. Because of the way you are. So he takes the test, The one cop says I can't believe it, he's totally sober. "I know mate, I'm the designated drunk" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted September 21, 2020 Moderator Share Posted September 21, 2020 "I'm the designated decoy". 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saturdaygig Posted September 21, 2020 Share Posted September 21, 2020 6 hours ago, BOF said: "I'm the designated decoy". Is the traditional punchline we used when I was at school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted October 2, 2020 Share Posted October 2, 2020 My six-year-old daughter was watching me shave this morning. "Why do you shave, daddy?" she enquired. "Because mummy likes me with nice smooth skin" I explained. "Does it hurt?" she asked. "No, not at all" I said "Unless I cut myself". "And then do you put a Band-Aid on?" she asked. "No, I just stick a little piece of toilet paper on any cuts" I told her. "But don't they just fall off?" "No, sweetheart" I replied. "They're held in place when I put my underpants back on". 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted October 2, 2020 Share Posted October 2, 2020 An older man approached an attractive younger woman at a shopping mall. ''Excuse me, I can't seem to find my wife. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?'' The woman, feeling a bit of compassion for the old fellow, said "Of course, sir. Do you know where your wife might be?" "I have no idea, but every time I talk to a woman with tits like yours, she seems to appear out of nowhere". 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted October 2, 2020 Share Posted October 2, 2020 I was squashed up next to a stunning Asian girl on the tube and I could feel myself getting hard. We were that tight together she couldn't help but notice it. "Your cock is very hard, isn't it?" she said to me "Yes, I'm very sorry " I told her. "Don't be" she replied "mine is as well". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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