Spiders

[chrisp65]

That blister could only possibly have been on a woman.

 

What self respecting manbloke could leave it unprodded. No way could you not just poke it and poke it all day with a finger finely coated in spaghetti hoops sauce, WD40 and general sweaty usage. Poke it until it pops, gets infected with the mix of daily dirt and turns into something you can properly boast about.

[Wainy316]

Do not fear. Clive is alive. Or at least he was when I released him 100 yards down the street. He did seem to briefly charge at me.

[Rob182]

That spiderweb between the grass and the clothes line has been re-built! The spider's body is a couple of centimetres long. I might take a photo tomorrow and post it on here, if I can figure that out!

[Morley_crosses_to_Withe]

A mate of mine from work reckons he sees False Widows all the time in his house. I don't normally kill any living creature, but I'd make an exception for those bastards.

[villaajax]

I've killed one in my house.

[Tegis]

Watching one wrapping up a squealing fly in the living-room. Good boy/girl

[Ads]

Just had to extract an absolute monster from the premises. The missus went ballistic.

Had to use a dessert glass to cover the leg span. Once covered he reared up and bared his fangs against the glass. Haven't seen that kind of aggressive behaviour from spiders in this country before.

I named him Clive.

 

For no real reason, I have imagined that Clive was wearing a small spider poncho during this tale.

[Xann]

[B6 to E6]

It looks as though the invasion of the big spiders is over, but they have been replaced with Daddy Longlegs. Every time I open a window, I get one of the big, lanky bastards bumbling their way in.

[8pints]

I get one of the big, lanky bastards bumbling their way in.

 

[villaajax]

 

I get one of the big, lanky bastards bumbling their way in.

 

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-FYPP_CSH8

[TrinityRoadSteps]

I just, accidentally, flushed a spider down the bath plughole. I didn't know he was there and I turned on the shower. 

 

Now. Is flushing a spider down the plughole an automatic death sentence for the spider. Or is it like a spider version of a massive water slide and when he gets to the bottom will just fly out going whooooooo hoooooooo and race back up to the bath to have another go 

[lapal_fan]

I suppose the question here is, is there any air for it to breath whilst going through your system?

 

If not, then you've murdered a perfectly innocent pest controller.

 

YOU MURDERER!

[ThunderPower_14]

I just, accidentally, flushed a spider down the bath plughole. I didn't know he was there and I turned on the shower.

Now. Is flushing a spider down the plughole an automatic death sentence for the spider. Or is it like a spider version of a massive water slide and when he gets to the bottom will just fly out going whooooooo hoooooooo and race back up to the bath to have another go

Nah I'm pretty sure he loops his way around and comes out of the tap the next time you wash your hands.

[Wainy316]

I just, accidentally, flushed a spider down the bath plughole. I didn't know he was there and I turned on the shower.

Now. Is flushing a spider down the plughole an automatic death sentence for the spider. Or is it like a spider version of a massive water slide and when he gets to the bottom will just fly out going whooooooo hoooooooo and race back up to the bath to have another go

Nah I'm pretty sure he loops his way around and comes out of the tap the next time you wash your hands.

In how many pieces?

[AVFCforever1991]

I just, accidentally, flushed a spider down the bath plughole. I didn't know he was there and I turned on the shower.

Now. Is flushing a spider down the plughole an automatic death sentence for the spider. Or is it like a spider version of a massive water slide and when he gets to the bottom will just fly out going whooooooo hoooooooo and race back up to the bath to have another go

Nah I'm pretty sure he loops his way around and comes out of the tap the next time you wash your hands.

In how many pieces?

8.

[AndyM3000]

I just, accidentally, flushed a spider down the bath plughole. I didn't know he was there and I turned on the shower. 

 

Now. Is flushing a spider down the plughole an automatic death sentence for the spider. Or is it like a spider version of a massive water slide and when he gets to the bottom will just fly out going whooooooo hoooooooo and race back up to the bath to have another go 

 

 

Im not sure so I always let the hot tap run for about 5 minutes.

[8pints]

I just, accidentally, flushed a spider down the bath plughole. I didn't know he was there and I turned on the shower. 

 

Now. Is flushing a spider down the plughole an automatic death sentence for the spider. Or is it like a spider version of a massive water slide and when he gets to the bottom will just fly out going whooooooo hoooooooo and race back up to the bath to have another go 

 

Incy wincy spider climbed up the water spout,

 

Down came the rain and washed poor Incy out,

 

Out came the sunshine and dried up all the rain,

 

So Incy wincy spider climbed up the spout again.

 

 

Should be okay.

[Risso]

 

 

 

 

 

Out came the sunshine and dried up all the rain,

 

So Incy wincy spider climbed up the spout again.

 

 

Should be okay.

 

 

 

 Enter that for the two-line horror story. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Should be okay.

 

[darrenm]

I just, accidentally, flushed a spider down the bath plughole. I didn't know he was there and I turned on the shower. 

 

Now. Is flushing a spider down the plughole an automatic death sentence for the spider. Or is it like a spider version of a massive water slide and when he gets to the bottom will just fly out going whooooooo hoooooooo and race back up to the bath to have another go 

 

The plug hole goes to a U-bend which is always kept full of water to stop smells from coming up from the drains. There could possibly be air pockets that the spider could float on, but I would imagine it would be a fairly solid bit of water until it starts flowing quickly.

 

If the spider makes it past that then it joins the main soil pipe where the toilet connects to, or direct into the main drains, again where all of the used tampons, sanitory towels, condoms, baby wipes etc. hang around waiting to block everything up.

 

I think after it gets into the main communal drains it's got a chance of finding somewhere for a rest.