Stevo985 Posted December 13, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted December 13, 2013 The wife probably thinks you are playing away now. The ''yes yes he's over there'' was probably not that convincing. No shit, sherlock 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seat68 Posted December 14, 2013 Share Posted December 14, 2013 Well its my works Christmas do next Thursday, I suspect I will make a tool of myself at that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theunderstudy Posted December 14, 2013 Share Posted December 14, 2013 I think my sister is definitely up there for moronic mouth-before-brain comments with her answer to a crossword clue for 'Big cat' (5) with "Panfa" She was 19 at the time. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morpheus Posted December 14, 2013 Share Posted December 14, 2013 While looking at a watch displayed in the window of a shop I couldn't see the price so brought my forehead closer and proceeded to bang my head of the shop window. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post BOF Posted December 14, 2013 Moderator Popular Post Share Posted December 14, 2013 After getting out of the car, I was closing the door when, for some retarded reason and in the blink of an eye, I wanted to know what time it was by the car's clock. So I stuck my head back in and closed the door on it. Never ever go full derp. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted December 14, 2013 Share Posted December 14, 2013 Despite my previous claims of perfection ... I have a couple Driving up to villa one time and graffiti on the motorway bridge ( the bridge after M Khan is bent ) someone had written " vote tactically " I turned to my mate and said what's this "Tact Tilly" party all about is it some Welsh thing Road near me is called Brox road ... Same mate is a Rangers fan and said I'm surprised nobody has added an "I" to that ... I replied , why would they want to call it Broxi Road I guess you had to be there for both .... 28 years later he still won't let me forget either Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeyp102 Posted December 14, 2013 Share Posted December 14, 2013 After watching an abysmal performance by villa on Sunday, got very drunk, went home and started a massive argument with the missis. Still in the dog house Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morley_crosses_to_Withe Posted December 14, 2013 Share Posted December 14, 2013 Had a crush on an old next door neighbour for years, she's a few years older than me but a proper cock tease, bumped into her in asda last week and I immediately crumbled And asked her what she was doing in asda Shopping, obviously. Haha! Smooth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awol Posted December 14, 2013 Share Posted December 14, 2013 (edited) After getting out of the car, I was closing the door when, for some retarded reason and in the blink of an eye, I wanted to know what time it was by the car's clock. So I stuck my head back in and closed the door on it. Never ever go full derp. Wanted to reply but on reflection I'm not sure I have the words, so will settle for this : Edited December 14, 2013 by Awol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LockStockVilla Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 It took one post for someone to mention politics On topic: Dumbest thing I've done recently is accidentally sent a chat at work, bitching about someone, to the person I was bitching about! That is the worst feeling ever, your gut just drops as soon as you hit send and instantly realize what you have done. I did that, mocking on of the computer programmers at my old job a couple of months ago. He just replied with "?!?!?"....My response was just "Lol. Jk." Never fails 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hycus-flange Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 working on a house doing the electrics, customer came out with a brew for me, got down the ladder and started chatting to her then for some reason my mouth came out with "so when are you due then?" remarking on her rather large belly, to which she replied quite sheepishly, "I'm not pregnant". conversation ended abruptly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoelVilla Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 Well five minutes ago I started reading the Paul Lambert thread. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spoony Posted December 16, 2013 Author Share Posted December 16, 2013 It took one post for someone to mention politics On topic: Dumbest thing I've done recently is accidentally sent a chat at work, bitching about someone, to the person I was bitching about! That is the worst feeling ever, your gut just drops as soon as you hit send and instantly realize what you have done. I did that, mocking on of the computer programmers at my old job a couple of months ago. He just replied with "?!?!?"....My response was just "Lol. Jk." Never fails I've done this enough times now to NEVER slag anyone off via any form of electronic communication. I only ever do it face to face with someone in a neutral territory where it is beyond all reasonable doubt that the person I am talking about is not there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted December 16, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted December 16, 2013 (edited) It took one post for someone to mention politics On topic: Dumbest thing I've done recently is accidentally sent a chat at work, bitching about someone, to the person I was bitching about! That is the worst feeling ever, your gut just drops as soon as you hit send and instantly realize what you have done. I did that, mocking on of the computer programmers at my old job a couple of months ago. He just replied with "?!?!?"....My response was just "Lol. Jk." Never fails I've done this enough times now to NEVER slag anyone off via any form of electronic communication. I only ever do it face to face with someone in a neutral territory where it is beyond all reasonable doubt that the person I am talking about is not there. I did it on the Villa email list back in the 90s (BOF may remember this). There was a representative of the club on the list who was a bit of a clearing in the woods, and somebody mailed me moaning about him. I replied with a similar rant - but inadvertently replied to the entire list rather than the individual. Which meant that the said representative (who shall remain nameless in case he's on here!) got to read it all. Oops. Edited December 17, 2013 by mjmooney Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wainy316 Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 When I wrote my CV for an English teaching job in Korea I somehow put "I am interested in experiencing adverse cultures" instead of 'diverse' cultures. Thank fook for the language barrier because I got the job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colhint Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 walking down a road one day, there was an absolute stunner walking in the opposite direction. I was happily admiring the view, in a semi discreet way. When she was about 10 feet away, a van went by and honked the horn. I thought, which one of my mates is that, so I turned to glance and walked straight into a bleeding lamppost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted December 17, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted December 17, 2013 walking down a road one day, there was an absolute stunner walking in the opposite direction. I was happily admiring the view, in a semi discreet way. When she was about 10 feet away, a van went by and honked the horn. I thought, which one of my mates is that, so I turned to glance and walked straight into a bleeding lamppost. Incredible. I did almost the exact same thing, except no traffic involved. About 1972. Walking through central Brum, spotted this beautiful woman on the other side, carried on walking while staring, straight into lamppost. Hurt like hell. Somewhat embarrassing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 I remember a few years back at the place where I work (an Indian Owned British Car Manufacturer) the PA of one of the directors sent the CV of someone who had applied for a senior role to everyone in the company with the comment along the lines of "here's the CV I mentioned, its always better to employ someone currently in work though if you know what I mean". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colhint Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 walking down a road one day, there was an absolute stunner walking in the opposite direction. I was happily admiring the view, in a semi discreet way. When she was about 10 feet away, a van went by and honked the horn. I thought, which one of my mates is that, so I turned to glance and walked straight into a bleeding lamppost. Incredible. I did almost the exact same thing, except no traffic involved. About 1972. Walking through central Brum, spotted this beautiful woman on the other side, carried on walking while staring, straight into lamppost. Hurt like hell. Somewhat embarrassing. wonder if it was the same girl? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFC_Hitz Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 walking down a road one day, there was an absolute stunner walking in the opposite direction. I was happily admiring the view, in a semi discreet way. When she was about 10 feet away, a van went by and honked the horn. I thought, which one of my mates is that, so I turned to glance and walked straight into a bleeding lamppost. Incredible. I did almost the exact same thing, except no traffic involved. About 1972. Walking through central Brum, spotted this beautiful woman on the other side, carried on walking while staring, straight into lamppost. Hurt like hell. Somewhat embarrassing. *Jokes about gas lights* *Farts* *weeps* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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