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Morpheus

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Everything posted by Morpheus

  1. Thought I'd share a joke in this thread because it pissed off a former teacher of mine when it really shouldn't have. On a special teachers day, a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from pupils. The florist's son handed over a gift to the teacher who shook it and said 'I bet I know what it is-flowers.' 'Thats right' said the pupil. The next pupil was the candy stores owner daughter. The teacher held and shook her gift and said 'I bet I can guess what it is-a box of candy.' That's right saiid the girl. The next gift was from the liquor store owners son. The teacher held the bag over his head and noticed that it was leaking. He touched a drop of the leakage with his finger and tasted it. 'Is it wine' he asked? 'No' the boy replied. The teacher then repeated the process touching another drop of the leakage to his tongue. 'Is it champagne' he asked? 'No' the boy replied. The teacher then said 'I give up, what is it?' The boy replied 'a puppy!' I guess the moral of that story is as my teacher friend said is there for all to see.
  2. Are you showing off just because you know how to spell fiancee??! As long as I've been some help to you that's all that matters.
  3. Well your prognosis is certainly called something but it wouldn't be allowed on site.
  4. Yeah but seemingly it was my fault anyway for not buying my fiancée a valentine present on the said date.
  5. Just back. I resisted the temptation LF but it was tough as he is good looking.
  6. Being someone who does suffer from depression one of the first symptoms is not wanting to get out of bed or wanting to go out. Before it gets a grip of you, at the weekends take yourself out for a walk or to the cinema. Just do anything to get yourself out.
  7. Day out with my fiancée today. Decided to go to a shopping centre with the intention of buying her a belated Valentine present. All going well. Bought her a designer sweatshirt she had wanted for some time and after a bite to eat we returned to the car. On the homeward trek the car started to chuck, splatter and cough until we had to pull in. That was around 4.00pm. I looked at the petrol gage and immediately thought we were empty which was surprising because before setting off on our day out my fiancée had taken the car to get some petrol while I got myself ready to go out. So still with a smile on my face and inwardly cursing my fiancée to damnation I left my fiancée in the car while I walked back to a petrol station we had passed some ten minutes back on our journey home. I returned with a canister of petrol and proceeded to top up. Fiancée puts key in ignition and the car starts to chuck and cough again and then my fiancée noted a red light signifying that the oil was empty. So now with a for **** sake I slammed the car door shut and began the long walk back again to the petrol station by this time not really being able to feel my fingers with the cold. By the time I returned it was dusk so torch out and topped up with oil. Key in ignition and **** chucky, coughy and stall again. So since we were a half an hours drive away from my fiancee's parents house we rang her dad to come out with the toe rope and waited and waited and waited until after six before help arrived in the form of my fiancee's dad and her uncle. Rope connected to both cars and off we went to my fiancées parents house. Halfway there with the engine off and no brakes my fiancée hit the back of her father's car. Luckily no damage as the toe connector took most of the hit. Finally arrived at the in laws so to speak (not yet married) and then pushed our car off the road just outside their home. Fiancées dad said he would contact his own mechanic in the morning and ask him to come out to see what was wrong with the car. Fiancee's dad then gave my fiancée and I a lift home and by this time I was thinking more of the Valentine massacre than anything else and not a word was said. About to climb into the bath when our phone rang. It was my fiancées dad. 'Tell us this and tell us no more' he asked with more than a hint of sarcasm. 'Did you take the car keys home with you?' **** fiancée hadn't left the keys of our car with her dad so I will have to get the early bus tomorrow morning to bring them back down to her dad so that the mechanic can have a look. Just **** off Valentine. I tried to be nice and looked what happened.
  8. Exactly the same with me Tomaszk next door. The husband of my gipo neighbour is a drug runner for one of the paramilitary organizations so he's smart enough not to keep his stuff in the house but he does arrive in different old cars for obvious reasons. He then forensically cleans the inside of the car before locking up for the night. So **** obvious and I have informed the Police but nothing has been done.
  9. What type of guitar is that mate?
  10. Villaajax isn't getting out of bed today if he sees that.
  11. It could also be a reason not to?
  12. Thanks mate but I really don't deserve any sympathy, ever. When she's feeling better I'll take her out for a meal.
  13. Yet the whole business with your aunt is okay? No mate I generally feel a right sod most of the time even though that side of things has now stopped but I feel even worse now.
  14. I hug my cats every day and they return that by constantly licking my face.
  15. For the first time since we've been together (twenty years) I stood by my earlier statement in this thread and didn't get my fiancée a card. Didn't think she was going to get me one either as she has been very unwell over the last year but after she went to bed tonight I walked into the living room and noted a card propped on top of the fireplace which contained a very heart felt message thanking me for looking after her. Unbeknown to me she had gone out earlier today through all that awful weather just to get me a card. Feel a right b..t..d.
  16. Playing COD Ghosts at the moment and really enjoying it. No thinking involved just shooting everything on sight.
  17. The same Ramos that had a very good Spurs squad near the foot of the table before Redknapp.
  18. Just as long as you really mean it Stevo.
  19. Two pairs of socks this morning.
  20. Has anyone informed their better half how attractive they look this morning?
  21. I was actually taught by nuns in Primary School for a while so maybe that's whats wrong with me. Nasty beggars though.
  22. Your a life saver Limpid. Can you download videos from your phone using the same method or must you do something differently?
  23. Views on swallowing? A previous girlfriend when in discussion about it asked me can I get pregnant? Does your partner like it, refuses to do it or is it something you haven't tried yet.
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