Things that piss you off that shouldn't

[Wainy316]

You probably had a better night than Mr Hutton though.

[leemond2008]

I don't get paid until Friday and I currently have £0 in my bank account, I can live with that but when I do get paid I am buying a new banjo and having to wait for payday is killing me.

 

On a plus note though I am not back at work until 27th August and I plan on doing as little until that date.

[StefanAVFC]

You probably had a better night than Mr Hutton though.

 

Doubtful.

[villaajax]

My brother when hes drunk and the things he comes out with... actually, he comes out with a lot of rubbish when he's sober but that's the effects of smoking weed addling your brain I suppose. He lives in a world of his own.

 

For one thing he very proud to be half Dutch, despite that I do have my doubts he could point to the country on a map. One thing he likes to tell people, even his friends, is that he was born in Holland, which isn't true. He tells everyone that Apeldoorn (the town our mum is from) is where he was born (as I said, not true, he was born in England) and according to him is right next to Amsterdam. It's nowhere near. He tells everyone what a horrible place Amsterdam is... having never actually been there.

 

According to him the queen who just abdicated was Queen Wilhelmina (who in reality abdicated in 1948 and died in 1962 and is the grandmother of Queen Beatrix who is the queen who recently abdicated).

 

Also, Prince Friso (who unfortunately passed away on Monday having been in a coma for over a year) according to my brother decided he didn't want to be King and stepped aside (not that he was first in line for the throne anyway being the younger prince) in order to live a normal life so he now just drives a burger van, because that's how laid back the Dutch royal family is...

 

Here are some more lines:

 

Belgium was formed because of the Spanish Civil War

 

Our family has a hereditary deafness problem

 

He often visits a friend in Sweden (doesn't even own a passport)

 

Our great uncle was one of London's best "underground bareknuckle boxers" (he was never a boxer, he worked on a farm and spent near his whole life in a village here in Oxfordshire)

 

 

I picked him up from his friend yesterday and on the way back we came to a mini roundabout, it was my priority so I went. No problem. My brother looks out the window and sees a Renault Clio there (waiting as I steer around)

 

"You pulled out straight in front of him!" "No... this is a roundabout, it's my priority so he stops and I go, that's how it works"

 

So now he's telling a story of how I cut up some "Massive Land Rover" who had to slam the breaks on rather than the true story of a little Renault Clio giving way to me.

 

But the terrible thing is that in his head, all of this is true. You can't convince him otherwise.

 

Whenever he comes out with things now, I just hear Jez's line from this scene from Peep Show

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G46sYp4dfaw

[Phumfeinz]

Don't understand people who just straight up lie like that. I think it's a mental condition?

[Stevo985]

I have a friend who is the same.

 

Just lies so much he then get's convinced it's true. I me him at uni and realised that we'd played his school at rugby one year (we were in the same year)

 

He said he remembered and that they'd thrashed us.

Which is the complete opposite of what happened. I remembered because I was sure it was OUR biggest victory of the season.

Anyway he was so utterly convinced (including a story of him scoring a try) that we rang a mutual friend who'd also played and he confirmed my version of events was right.

 

But the annoying thing is about a year later I retold the story of how that all happened and the same guy point blank refused to acknowledge that that had ever taken place, and had gone back to his original opinion that his school won that rugby match by a mile.

 

Idiot.

[Amsterdam_Neil_D]

My brother when hes drunk and the things he comes out with... actually, he comes out with a lot of rubbish when he's sober but that's the effects of smoking weed addling your brain I suppose. He lives in a world of his own.

 

For one thing he very proud to be half Dutch, despite that I do have my doubts he could point to the country on a map. One thing he likes to tell people, even his friends, is that he was born in Holland, which isn't true. He tells everyone that Apeldoorn (the town our mum is from) is where he was born (as I said, not true, he was born in England) and according to him is right next to Amsterdam. It's nowhere near. He tells everyone what a horrible place Amsterdam is... having never actually been there.

 

According to him the queen who just abdicated was Queen Wilhelmina (who in reality abdicated in 1948 and died in 1962 and is the grandmother of Queen Beatrix who is the queen who recently abdicated).

 

Also, Prince Friso (who unfortunately passed away on Monday having been in a coma for over a year) according to my brother decided he didn't want to be King and stepped aside (not that he was first in line for the throne anyway being the younger prince) in order to live a normal life so he now just drives a burger van, because that's how laid back the Dutch royal family is...

 

Here are some more lines:

 

Belgium was formed because of the Spanish Civil War

 

Our family has a hereditary deafness problem

 

He often visits a friend in Sweden (doesn't even own a passport)

 

Our great uncle was one of London's best "underground bareknuckle boxers" (he was never a boxer, he worked on a farm and spent near his whole life in a village here in Oxfordshire)

 

 

I picked him up from his friend yesterday and on the way back we came to a mini roundabout, it was my priority so I went. No problem. My brother looks out the window and sees a Renault Clio there (waiting as I steer around)

 

"You pulled out straight in front of him!" "No... this is a roundabout, it's my priority so he stops and I go, that's how it works"

 

So now he's telling a story of how I cut up some "Massive Land Rover" who had to slam the breaks on rather than the true story of a little Renault Clio giving way to me.

 

But the terrible thing is that in his head, all of this is true. You can't convince him otherwise.

 

Whenever he comes out with things now, I just hear Jez's line from this scene from Peep Show

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G46sYp4dfaw

 

 

Someone in my family is the same (Dutch).  Not sure but if there is a mental problem with small country syndrome then they have it.  

 

So far he has had 10 + interviews for jobs in Holland,  all of them without fail are "the biggest companies in the world" and 200k - 300k a year and it's not that he wants the job,  they want him more apparently.

 

I had the joy of of driving a new audi A7 for 2 months as the CEO is a very nice (English) bloke,  suprise suprise....his mate had just ordered a R8 and phoned him up to ask his advice.  (He knows nothing about cars).

 

Other gems,  Holland has the best roads in the World apparently (They are actually clueless in road design and a child could design and implement the roads a lot better). 

 

It has the biggest and best music festivals in the world.

 

 

 

He has driven around Zandvoort race track and did over 200 mph on the straight.

[mjmooney]

I work with a woman like that. Compulsive liar - and about things that can easily be verified or disproved.

[villaajax]

It could very well be a mental problem because he also tries to lie to me and the rest of our family with ridiculous things like that which we all know is not true in the slightest.

 

I do think a lot of his friends have caught on and do now humour him but one day he's going to try it with the wrong person and he'll come very unstuck. If he ever spoke to another Dutch person even.

[limpid]

Is Apeldoom actually in Holland? It's in Gelderland isn't it, so the Netherlands, not Holland.

[Amsterdam_Neil_D]

Is Apeldoom actually in Holland? It's in Gelderland isn't it, so the Netherlands, not Holland.

 

I know what you mean but the Netherlands is so small that I just personally call the whole place Holland,  they do as well more and more (See flags at World Cup etc).

[Shillzz]

Radio 1 this morning had a whole procession of shitmunchers finding out their A-level results live on air.

 

It's not this that annoyed me, it would have atleast been entertaining had it gone horribly wrong. No, the thing that annoyed me was that they managed to cherry pick 4 or 5 individuals who were basically guaranteed to get unbelievable results. I think there were 5 people on, and atleast 3 or 4 of them got straight A's. Pretty demoralising for the average student who may have been listening. Imagine being over the moon with your 3 Bs, only to listen to that crap and then decide that your 3 Bs were actually nothing to be proud of at all.

 

I had rather good A level results back in the day, but even I found myself looking back thinking 'perhaps I wasn't that intelligent after all'.

 

Well done BBC, you've outdone yourselves.

Edited August 15, 2013 by Shillzz

[MessiWillSignForVilla]

Radio 1 this morning had a whole procession of shitmunchers finding out their A-level results live on air.

 

It's not this that annoyed me, it would have atleast been entertaining had it gone horribly wrong. No, the thing that annoyed me was that they managed to cherry pick 4 or 5 individuals who were basically guaranteed to get unbelievable results. I think there were 5 people on, and atleast 3 or 4 of them got straight A's. Pretty demoralising for the average student who may have been listening. Imagine being over the moon with your 3 Bs, only to listen to that crap and then decide that your 3 Bs were actually nothing to be proud of at all.

 

I had rather good A level results back in the day, but even I found myself looking back thinking 'perhaps I wasn't that intelligent after all'.

 

Well done BBC, you've outdone yourselves.

 

Was the same last year, I remember either watching TV or listening to the radio after getting my three D's to hear that every other person who did their A level's seemingly got all A's and B's, it really twisted the knife in.

 

Then people have the cheek to claim it's all getting too easy, but that's probably because they see every top student reveal there results on TV/Radio and never actually realise there are students who do average/terrible as well.

[mjmooney]

Oh there are plenty who got shit grades all right.

 

They are phoning Bradford in their droves right now.

[rjw63]

 

So now he's telling a story of how I cut up some "Massive Land Rover" who had to slam the breaks on rather than the true story of a little Renault Clio giving way to me.

 

*Brakes*

[legov]

Oh there are plenty who got shit grades all right.

 

They are phoning Bradford in their droves right now.

 

Heehee

 

(sorry Mike)

[Tegis]

Mandatory safe search on google images

[CarewsEyebrowDesigner]

Some kid got 7 A* at A Level, apparently. I didn't know you could do that many subjects, to be honest. Anyway, he phoned up the Nolan show and said he got rejected by Oxford.

 

They must all be in Media Studies.

[donnie]

Is Apeldoom actually in Holland? It's in Gelderland isn't it, so the Netherlands, not Holland.

Hold on... Netherlands and Holland are two different countries / places?? I always thought it was the same place

[Jon]

 

Is Apeldoom actually in Holland? It's in Gelderland isn't it, so the Netherlands, not Holland.

Hold on... Netherlands and Holland are two different countries / places?? I always thought it was the same place

 

Shocking ignorance for one so clued up on foreign matters.