sonic_bouma Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 Right back to serious relationship advice needed......... Girl I am currently seeing I have been with her for about 9 or 10 months. She has a lot of stuff going on at the moment. She is studying to be a nurse, currently on 8 week placement, going through bankruptcy and she has a 3 year old child. For the last month or so she is juggling so many plates that I seem to be the one to get dropped all the time. Weekends, if she is not working on placement, consist of me going round to hers and staying in and having the day with her and her son. It is great but it is just getting a bit dull. Date nights have stopped and time which we spend alone together out of the house has nearly dried up. I understand that this is because she feels guilty about being on placement all week then doing paperwork and study and not getting as much time as possible with her son. I feel like a bastard as there are things I want to do with her eg go away for the night, or go into Manchester early evening round the shops, have a meal then go to a few bars etc. Therefore I get pissed off when she says she can't. We usually see each other twice a week then all weekend. However because she has been on mainly lates eg not getting back til 9:30/10pm I have hardly seen her. Also she was working last weekend. Therefore when I do see her I want quality time with just me and her and not sitting in her flat. I know I sound like a selfish clearing in the woods, and her kid is great, but I just want some adult time too. I have told her this and it upsets her because she feels I am blaming her. I am proud that she is changing her life re job, domestic violence victim in the past etc but what is the point if I never get alone time with her??? What do i do? what is good is that you are recognising the problem of little time together early in the relationship and trying to talk about it... when she qualifies and works regular night shifts unfortunately "little time together" will be a regular occurence, plus you will be looking after the kid a lot when she is on nights.... im marrying a nurse next year after 10 years together and a few years ago we had a very rocky stage in our relationship... this was the result of years of stagnation that was mainly caused by our working patterns.... i would go to work, come back at 5,she would leave at 7 for a night shift, come back at 7 in the morning, i would leave for work at 8 and it goes on and on and on...the worst is the weekend shifts when i would often spend the whole weekend alone while she was in bed or at work.... if you don't make time for each other it can be a killer, no sex or quality fun time together.... we got complacent and let a rut set in and it almost ended us.... so be prepared for it to get worse once she qualifies, however if you purposely address the problem and keep communicating im sure your relationship will be fine.... now 3 years on my fiance has quit working in the hospitals and now works in the community.... she works 9-5 and will never have to do a night shift again...the difference in our relationship is unbelievable.... maybe once she qualifies she can look to doing that so it eases the pressures on you both and you have more time together.... sounds like you think she is worth it so good luck mate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LockStockVilla Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 Oh dear leemond, I imagine this being the scene when the 'ol gaffer shows up at your doorstep this morning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 11, 2012 VT Supporter Share Posted August 11, 2012 **** knows how we are Gunna talk our way out if this one. A certain female friend came round to mine we ended up having a bit of fun (not too much though I stopped it before that happened) and I have just been rudely awakened by 5 klmissed calls and 4 txt messages from my gaffa...**** ut I'll let yer explain it to him when she gets home, I'm going back to bed for now The same gaffer who you told to go **** himself when he offered to pay you money out of his own pocket a couple of weeks back? You sound like an amazing employee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MMFy Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 You sound like an amazing former employee. Fixed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFCforever1991 Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LockStockVilla Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 You sound like an amazing former employee. Fixed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 Sorry, I can't stand any kind of cheating. Whether you're cheating on your partner or helping someone else to cheat it's just not on and not worth it in the end. You reap what you sow I'm afraid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LockStockVilla Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 Sorry, I can't stand any kind of cheating. Whether you're cheating on your partner or helping someone else to cheat it's just not on and not worth it in the end. You reap what you sow I'm afraid. I can sympathize with that thinking Ginko. Recently I was at a party, way too far gone mind you, and somehow I ended up alone in a bedroom with a girl because I did not realize everyone had left the room. She then started pulling me and tried to take my clothes off, but I stopped her asking if she had a boyfriend, because I definitely thought she was dating somebody that I knew. She denied having a bf, but I said **** it and walked away and did later find she was still dating some guy I know. Getting a shag in definitely would not have been worth getting seven shades of shit kicked out of me later, so I am glad even in my state, that I refused that. It can either be seen as quite noble....or just gay, hopefully not the latter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MMFy Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 **** knows how we are Gunna talk our way out if this one. A certain female friend came round to mine we ended up having a bit of fun (not too much though I stopped it before that happened) and I have just been rudely awakened by 5 klmissed calls and 4 txt messages from my gaffa...**** ut I'll let yer explain it to him when she gets home, I'm going back to bed for now So, can we see the texts then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 Long long ago I was 'dating' the girlfriend of a locally known amateur boxer. I'm not sure what was on my mind at the time, but clearly it's thought processes had been out flanked by my dick. I think I thought I'd be the coolest guy in town getting away with that kind of stuff. Anyway, he'd clearly found out about it and had a quiet word with me one evening. I was heading in to town, he stopped me, said he knew what I'd been up to and would like it to stop please. He was unbeleivable calm and polite. He also mentioned that as a keen boxer with a competition coming up he was not going to lay a finger on me as it could jeopardise his license. I said I knew that and that was why I hadn't weed myself. Well, a few hours later I was coincidentally attacked by a bunch of blokes I've never seen before and had seven shades of shit kicked out of me, every piece of clothing ripped, wallet taken, the works. No obvious motive, just one of those random acts of violence that used to happen in the 80's I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 So you don't think the guy was behind it and had gotten his mates to beat the crap out of you in his place? That would be my first instinct I suppose, but it sounds like you think it was some sort of karma. I've been cheated on, and she did it with my best friend which was a double whammy really. I'm over it now but I'd never want anyone to feel the way I felt back then. I'm not saying it's easy to ignore your cock and your natural urges but it's absolutely do-able. Sex is not the be all and end all like some people seem to think it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voinjama Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 So you don't think the guy was behind it and had gotten his mates to beat the crap out of you in his place? That would be my first instinct I suppose, but it sounds like you think it was some sort of karma. I've been cheated on, and she did it with my best friend which was a double whammy really. I'm over it now but I'd never want anyone to feel the way I felt back then. I'm not saying it's easy to ignore your cock and your natural urges but it's absolutely do-able. Sex is not the be all and end all like some people seem to think it is. Your best friend? Incidentally most of the fights I have had in my life have been about or over a girl. And yes I admit that is pretty pathetic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ED Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 So you don't think the guy was behind it and had gotten his mates to beat the crap out of you in his place? That would be my first instinct I suppose, but it sounds like you think it was some sort of karma. err, no it doesn't Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voinjama Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 Anyone ever been headtopped for dealing with another mans missus? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 Your best friend? Incidentally most of the fights I have had in my life have been about or over a girl. And yes I admit that is pretty pathetic. Yep, he was my best friend through high school and then this incident happened when I was about 17 or 18. Ah well, these things happen when you're young and there's nothing like a woman to get in the way of friendship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leemond2008 Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 We ain't cheating or anything it was just a case of having a bit to much to drink and her stayin around a lot longer than she was meant to, as I say nothing at all happened but it just looks pretty bad though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demitri_C Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 so ill tell peeps what happened on friday night with my "hot" date. went on this double date with the "friend", and was going well then i started saying we should go out sometime just us. then she went all cold turkey on me! she was saying something about i dont feel the same way like i wa sin love with her! and she was acting completely suprised that i mentioned it! what kind of normal woman goes out with a couple and one other bloke? woman are wierd man i think she just liked the attention but sod her have not got any time for women like this full of mind game b0ll0x!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 13, 2012 VT Supporter Share Posted August 13, 2012 So you don't think the guy was behind it and had gotten his mates to beat the crap out of you in his place? That's EXACTLY what he thinks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 so ill tell peeps what happened on friday night with my "hot" date. went on this double date with the "friend", and was going well then i started saying we should go out sometime just us. then she went all cold turkey on me! she was saying something about i dont feel the same way like i wa sin love with her! and she was acting completely suprised that i mentioned it! what kind of normal woman goes out with a couple and one other bloke? woman are wierd man i think she just liked the attention but sod her have not got any time for women like this full of mind game b0ll0x!! Sounds like an attention craving tool. Cut off like a dead limb and try again elsewhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demitri_C Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 yep i think so too. and then she is like i hope we can stay friends and you dont hate me ffs get a grip woman i dont bloody love you all i am suggesting is to go for a drink! yeah stay clear from this one i reckon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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